Need strong advice

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Have just started feeling ashamed for having these anxiety moments just feel ill and tired and scared all day I know there are people with problems but I can't separate my physical ailments with what my mind is telling me .my husband has started to get cross but it seems so real to me help please!!!!

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  • Posted


    I am right here with you have had it 2 years the depression panic attacks and the pains I am lying on the sofa at the moment no energy don't want to go out sleep all night and still shattered.Dont know if you take medication I don't which is what the GP wants don't know if I am wrong but just does not agree with me tried several just knocks me out and I am already in a fog.I have every test there is but all clear which is good but does not solve it,my life stopped 2 years ago with terrible headache and since that everything hurts,they just say anxiety and depression.No help to you I know sceptical to say you are not alone.If you ever want to p.m me feel free I do find it helps on here knowing you are not alone.Take Care.

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  • Posted

    There is a massive difference between Depression and Anxiety. I struggeled for 4/5 years with it, until I got my head round it.

    1. It can not hurt you, you worried about it last week and nothing happened to you, its never hurt anyone, no matter how rubbish the feelings are, they are just feelings and you are not ill.

    2. Dont let it stop you doing anything you want. You will feel terrible some times, but just do where every you normally would do.

    Imagine you are been chased by a wild tiger, thats how your body is all the time, your heart beats faster and you feel you need to run or get away from yourself. But there is no tiger......

    You are worried about being worried, how silly is that.

    Keep busy and keep your mind busy and it will go in time.

    Its like you have your worried switch on and you need to turn it off.

    Forget about it as much as you can, live your life as normal as possible, no matter how you feel and remember you are not Ill, you dont have an illness, you are worried and your body reacts as it should when you are worried. It shakes, it produces adrenaline and you feel you need to run. But you are only worried about about worring about been worried, how daft is that!!!! Hope it sorts its self out. John

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  • Posted

    Hi Scruffy & Joan,

    I just noticed your comments and, as I am currently feeling "weird", I felt I had to respond.

    My husband has commented that I seem to need some sort of ailment to replace or join a previous ailment, and it sometimes feels that way to me! I don't want to become a hypochondriac, but I keep finding myself looking up odd symptoms and coming up with scary conclusions...but there just seem to be so many little things that often combine to make me feel unwell, and then I start to worry, which makes things worse and depresses me!

    Yesterday afternoon I developed an odd sensation in my left ear. I ve had it before. A sort of pressure but my hearing remains fine. Then I started getting sharp pains in my head, more or less over my right eye. Then I was aware of what I can only describe as a sensation of burnt sugar! Earlier this week I got the same thing, without the ear pressure, and I last had it over a year ago. It seemed to be allied to my periods...I would get a severe, sickly headache that could last 2 to 3 days and would not respond to tablets. At the same time there would be this sensation of a taste / smell of burnt sugar. The first time it happened I hunted around the kitchen for the source, so strong was it! I decided it was something to do with being a migraine sufferer since my teens. I used to get the classic aura or flashing lights, now I get the burnt sugar!

    I have never mentioned it to my doctor, but now, as I sit here feeling queazy, headachy with a tender scalp, and worried, I think I might. The point of my comment is that, I, too, suffer bouts of depression and, in my case, it appears to be linked to the menopause. I am 49 and regular as clockwork, but for one blip of 3 weeks last year, but I have noticed a fogging of mind, frequent loss of short term memory (which can annoy my husband as he thinks I haven't been listening to him!) and times when I can burst into tears at the least little thing. The latter is usually during PMT but can go on longer. And I can get agressive towards myself and my many shortcomings for a day each month! Just when I think a pattern has evolved it changes again! For 3 months last year I was so bad I ended up with an antedepressant that I was supposed to take for several weeks at a time. The last couple of months I haven't had the depression. However, just lately it seems to be returning, along with these headachy symptoms. So many of the symptoms are too vague to bother with...but sometimes it feels as if I might be going mad.

    I also feel so very tired most of the time, no matter how much sleep I have had. Also, my husband has been grumbling that some nights I have been grunting and jerking in my sleep. This is another worrying symptom!

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  • Posted

    Madcow 64, you have Health Anxiety which everyone has to some degree, but you have taken yours to extreme.

    Any feeling you are having can be explained and you are doing to worst thing ever Googleing your twitches, DONT DO IT, you will develop symptoms you never had.

    Your fog and memory is because you are worried, 80% of your mind can be thinking about, DO I FEEL ILL, so you are operating with only 20% brain power. You will forget things, but you have not really forget you never took them in, in the 1st place.

    Health Anxiety is probably one of the easiest Anxiety to sort out. You got to the doctors, you say you think you have health Anxiety and you want full blood tests, they all come back clear and then you know you are fine. If there was anything your blood always show it up, it might not tell them what it is, but it will be abnormal in some way.

    Unfortunately Anti-Depressants is just masking your feelings for a bit, get your head round it, STOP Googling it, Google is NOT a doctor.

    If you were ill, you would feel Ill all the time, not just when you had a twitch or a pain in your ear!! think about it logically.


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  • Posted

    Hi John.

    As you said it took you how long to get your head round it ? Well for some of us we are not there yet and as I have said before it is an illness and depression and anxiety has been proved by many to go hand in hand ,and it's time for that tiger to stop chasing then.

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  • Posted

    Hi Joan

    Scruffy asked for "strong Advice". Not sure why you have commented with a negative view again, please do not comment on my posts again unless it is positive

    It is not an Illness, sorry.


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  • Posted

    Sorry all,

    I seem to have waffled on about nothing in particular and missed the point!

    I was trying to clumsily say that we humans are complex creatures and there are very many things we have to worry about. As John says, worrying can produce physical symptoms and you can get in a viscious cycle of anxiety and perceived illness. If I over-worry I tense up. The tension makes my neck and shoulder muscles tighten and it produces a very sickly headache.

    When I was on a school trip I was horribly travel sick. For many years after that I had frequent panic attacks...hands, feet and lips would go tingly and numb and I felt sick. I told no-one, not even my best friend or few boyfriends. I would just avoid situations that made me feel trapped. I was in the 6th form at school ao could hide in the Common Room until after assembly. I did my best to avoid cinema trips (having to leave one in a hurry on one occasion). I finally told my husband I had a problem in what I deemed were stressful situations. They were then avoided as much as possible.

    However, over the subsequent decades I managed to overcome my anxiety attacks with no other intervention. Though I have not set foot in a cinema since my early 20's I have been to various functions with little or no ill effects. I can't say I am completely over the panic attacks, but I have learned to control my fears and not let them control me any more. Unless I am genuinly feeling under the weather.

    The point is - you CAN control your own fears and anxieties, but you can't expect to do so without help from friends and family. I felt so ashamed when I confessed to my husband, before we married then had a 4 week honeymoon with more coach travel and stressful situations than I ever imagined I could face! But he was very matter of fact about it all and it helped me to see it was no big deal.

    I once read that with travel sickness, if you know you can be sick (ie you have paper bags etc to hand) you won't be - when the mind stops focussing on the fear of making a a spectacle of yourself, or a mess (as I did on the school trip - hence the constant fear afterwards), it can focus on more pleasant things such as passing scenery, and the danger passes.

    It's so true! I can now travel several hundred miles in the back of our car with no fear and no actual car sickness.

    Scruffy - coming here and admitting your fear and your problem is half the battle. I wish you loads of luck. It WILL take time - but never give up - you CAN overcome your anxieties - as John says, they won't kill you.

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  • Posted


    Thankyou for replying I can imagine how you feel having been there got the tee shirt in fact still wearing it every day seems existence.But it does not matter what time your day begins you can only fight so much and we hope every day we do a little more so stop beating yourself up.Anxiety is so hard to fight but hopefully we will get there,do you manage to go out.It could be the menopause but I am not a Doctor or make out to be but I think there is now a blood test that tells them if it is hormones.Hopefully you will find some comfort on here there are son every understanding peoples here.Take a Care.

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  • Posted


    I don't think there was any need for that strong comment you are untitled to your opinion as we all are so sorry if you took it wrong, but you must know to be on here we are sensitive when depressed or anxious but the last thing is that we do not argue n here.Sorry again


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  • Posted

    I have said before Joan, I do not want to argue. I want people to know they do not need to suffer like I did for years. Sometimes people just need to know, it is very sortable and no one is alone here.


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  • Posted

    Sorry to all my friends ,

    I have made many on here,and have always tried to help and listen as they have to me, but find it impossible to continue on here as my anxiety as now gone through the roof as I have seem to have upset some.

    Please all take care and wish you speedy recoveries.

    Joan x

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  • Posted

    Hi John,

    You're so right about health anxieties - there is far too much information out there that anyone with a computer has access to! A little knowledge is a dangerous thing, as they say!

    However, over a year ago I finally saw my doctor after several months of foot pain for a very real problem (part of it has proved to be a snapped plantar fascia following an evil injection into the sole of my heel!). He saw the old chilblain on one toe and decided I had poor circulation. He took blood and had a barrage of tests done on it. There was I thinking I would get my foot checked and he was more concerned with things I didn't know were wrong with me!

    The tests proved my thyroid was fine, as were kidneys and liver. All they showed was a raised ESR? level - I was coming down with a cold. However, my blood pressure was raised every time I saw him (understandably) and my ankles were swollen, particularly my right foot (the one with the tear and severe pain!) so he put me on a circulation boosting drug and twice the level of diuretics that my mother and mother in law are on! Three months later I was at my wit's end with pain and was too worried about kidney damage to take so many water pills.

    I was almost in tears when I saw him again and virtually begged to be sent to a specialist! In the end I sorted that myself, though it took 2 months to get an appointment. They gave me orthotics, exercises and an ultrasound scan which showed the tear. However, they have instructed me to get an MRI scan as there is a further problem, but my new doctor has sanctioned this so I am getting somewhere at last. However, I did have a scare 2 days after starting a job, last November, which had me standing for almost 8 hours a day - my lower legs went hot and red and I ended up in A&E with a diagnosis of cellulitis, though I thought it was odd to be in both legs. Had to wear support stockings every day after that, as well as being pumped full of antibiotics.

    My point is, it was a doctor who made me fear there was something seriously wrong with my circulation and heart! With a family history of heart troubles it has made me worry more! Until then I had rarely visited him in 13 years!

    I am a terrible drug-taker though. I have only taken about 6 days-worth of antedepressants in 5 months! I will only take them if I feel so low I can't function anymore. As for Googling ailments - you're right - it can be useful but also the worst thing you can do! If you are susceptable to fear you could end up feeling positively suicidal! Finding these forums was the best thing I did. "A problem shared is a problem halved" I think the saying goes!


    I work from home and am alone a lot, rather isolated from friends, but I have no problem going out whenever necessary. I had a full-time temporary Christmas job and I loved it! The cameraderie was wonderful and I felt useful at last - a great tonic for depression! Until we were told they couldn't keep us on any longer as the work was no longer coming in. I really think a lot of my low self esteem and depressive bouts are largely due to hormone fluctuations. Roll on the menopause and HRT!!


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  • Posted

    Hi Joan,

    PLEASE don't leave the forums! I know how you must feel as I have always worried myslef silly over upsetting people, but you can't please everyone all the time, as they say. Many people can shrug their shoulders and say, oh well, their loss, if someone doesn't like them or gets upset. A lot of us sensitive souls can't do that and take everything personally. I'm one of those. I take everything to heart, so I know what you are thinking / feeling.

    You certainly haven't upset me in any way! Though you and John have exchanged words I don't really think you upset him. We all get a little prickly at times. Typing words - emails or texts - is no substitute for face to face talking, when you can see facial expressions and have can use gestures to to help express feelings and thoughts - that's the only way to gauge another's true feelings.

    So PLEASE don't feel you have to leave it all behind x

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  • Posted

    Hi Joan please don't leave the forum you were the only person that answered me when I needed someone to talk too sorry you are having a rough time still

    John I've been ill every single day for 14 months now so ill I can't stand up most days I've had many blood tests and my crp and sed rate is raised but still my doctor neurologist and councilor

    Tell me it's health anxiety from what your saying should I not believe them then as it seems you are saying differently remember anxious people are very sensative and comments like your make people worry more

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