Posted , 4 users are following.
I'm not really sure what to post about here.. It's my first time doing something like this I guess..
I'm kind of scared..
I think I might have depression.
For a while now, maybe 6 years, I've always had these small feelings inside. I just thought they were normal teenage things. I mean I was 16.
I used to fight with my mum all the time. Eventually I was convinced to move out by a friend. At their house I experienced all kinds of mental and emotional abuse. It took almost 2 years for me to finally pack up my things and move back into my mums house.
Skip a few more years and that brings us to now..
I'm constantly feeling useless and alone. I worked a snow season recently where I had a pretty big car accident. I was fine, whiplash and still lingering pain now, but the car was worse off than I. I thought maybe I was suffering PTSD. But it's everything. I cameback home to find out I had no job any more. So no car, no job and no money because of the $1000 it took to pay for th accident.
Needless to say it's pretty crap for me..
I don't know how to explain what I feel right now.. it's all over the place.
I feel worthless. Needy and Pathetic.
I just got in an argument with a friend because I fely like I couldnt talk to her about something.
I cry every day. Multiple times. For most of the day.
I feel like every thing in my life is becoming too much and no matter how many good things happen there is always something bad to bring me back down..
I'm finding it hard to sleep at nigth cause of heart pounding and I'm shaking and I can't close my eyes. Then once I sleep I find it hard to wake back up and go about my day. Every day is the same and I can't take it any more.
I feel anxious 24/7.
I can't tell my mum becaue when I try to bring it up she tells me to harden up and ill be fine just wait.
There are times where I wish I had of just died in the car accident. I was told I was lucky to be alive. That I should have been seriously injured or even died. But I didn't. I should be grateful but at times I wish I had of just died..
I 've never self harmed but I have come close.. It's starting to really scare me..
I want to go an see a doctor. But I don't know what to say.
Do I just go in and say, "Hey so I think I have depression, what do I do?" I'm just scared...
Please some one help me...
1 like, 4 replies