Need to understand

insane filthy jealousy of most morbid type ? i cannot say. but then definitely indicative of evil propensity at deeper level in some form.

anyway, he should     honestly and truthfuly explain the exact thoughts/emotions which were in his mind. 

Irrespective of cause of his actions, he should not be allowed to live with baby. Future of baby is more important.

Julia, that's an awful thing to have happen. All I can say is that depression comes in many 'forms' and it may be that his depression is actually part of another illness. Perhaps the stress of having the new baby has triggered something in him. Whatever it is, at least he has recognised himself that he needs help (and before anything worse happened) and it sounds like he is now receiving that help, so that is a good start. I would try not to overthink it, and leave that up to his family and the professionals to sort out and concentrate instead on enjoying your new granddaughter and supporting your own daughter. 

I would just add a couple more things (I know you didn't ask for advice!). If you are at all concerned about him trying to get access to his home, you could perhaps suggest your daughter stay with you for a while? She might welcome the additional support that would give her. Also, (you may be doing this already) I wouldn't criticise him in front of you daughter. Let her do that if she wants to. My ex was lazy and unsupportive and my parents didn't like him either! But if they criticised him I would feel defensive (as I had chosen him and chosen to have kids with him). It just made me feel worse.

I wish you and your family all the best xx

I'm no expert and don't know him personally so it's hard to comment, but...I think depression doesn't cause people to hurt others (especially a tiny baby) but maybe another illness..I do feel though that because he said he'd done it and asked for help that maybe he's struggling with his thoughts/feelings and emotions. Hopefully he gets the help he needs but he should be kept away from the baby xxxx

I think that whatever the reason he chose to harm a baby he needs to be kept well away from it for the foreseeable future.

The news is always full of men (and it is usally men) killing innocent children and sometimes their partners as well.  I don't think any chances should be taken with a childs life.

I don't agree that depression can cause this kind of behaviour.  At the end of the day though this doesn't matter - the welfare of the baby is the only issue at stake here.

Of course it's possible depression played a part in his actions.  Nevertheless, 99.99% of depressed people do not harm babies, so it's clear you're dealing with a special kind of pathology here. His depression is a common affliction, but his danger to others is anything but common and frankly it's damn scary.

I think most people in the world don't empathize well enough with mental illness.  As a result we see everything from people being denied respect and dignity to homeless being killed in the streets.  I really believe in the importance of increasing empathy through better understanding.

However, empathy and safety are unrelated concepts. It's appropriate for people to recognize danger and protect themselves and others.

Personal opinion, if I were in your shoes and ever had a chance to permanently cut off his access from this child I would do so instantly and without a moments regret.  It's his job to get better, it's your job to protect.

Hi Julia - how upsetting to have to deal with this situation. But at least the matter is in the hands of professionals - it's amazing how many people in similar straits will dismiss this behaviour or gloss over it. 

When you mentioned him hurting the baby, my first thought was Munchausen syndrome - or rather Munchausen-by-proxy syndrome. This illness - which in the case of babies is usually associated with the mother - compels the bearer to hurt their children in order to get attention, or even to appear heroic as they have 'rescued' the child from greater danger. I wonder if, in the case of your daughter's partner, he was seeking attention or perhaps contemplating removing the baby from the picture altogether (just pondering the disturbing matter of him covering the babies nose and mouth) in order to be the centre of attention once again.

Further to your comment about the depressed not hurting anyone - I too find it impossible to contemplate such action. However, this matter was brought to global attention a year or so ago when the pilot of a German Wings aircraft deliberately crashed his plane into the French Alps killing 149 on board. He was deemed by doctors (who said he shouldn't be flying) to be depressed. I still debate with others whether it was simply depression that drove him to this act. I think there had to be a big slice of psycopathy or sociopathy there in his character.

Meanwhile, at least you are alert to what has gone on in your family, action has been taken, and you will always be wary in the future. Best of luck to you.