negative thoughts from the past due to anxiety. help

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Hi ive spoke on ere before it all started 15 weeks ago, i had a huge panic attack ended up in a and e, all through health anxiety which has led to depression. I took paroxetine for 10 weeks it was hell, i withdrew slowly and the experience was horrendous, now im a shaking wreck bad thoughts from my childhood and past regrets, also getting thoughts that i shoudnt get.Its been a struggle to function.

Ive had to tell my husband about things ive done its been awful he is supportive and said i dont have to go into detail as its in the past. Im a mess i see a counsellor who said to confront the thoughts ive read every self help book done relaxation, i need to know how other people have got through this. Im off work feel like im a robot and no focus ive experiencd derealization when the anxiety is at its highest.

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  • Posted

    Hi Tracy,I know how you feel.I had a bad experience with paroxetine 2 months ago,I ended up in a&e with the side effects.Then I took citalopram for 8 weeks and the side effects was awful.So after all  I had no benefits,only horrible side effects and 2 days ago I stoped taking them.What you feel now I think are withdrawal symptoms and will go away in few weeks.
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  • Posted

    Hi love really sorry your going through this as i am too and ino exactly what you're going through i did a few things as a child too that am not proud of let me guess you told your husband thinking it would go away once you did? I did that it didn't matter who i told didn't leave then it got worse i started thinking about all sorts things i don't really want to explain as there awful i thought i didn't love my son anymore and partner i was a mess after a few months of being on meds i started feeling me again was happy and even ttho i could remember the stuff i had thought they didn't seem to bother me anymore i was me again but i stopped taking mine and now am right back to were i was thinking stuff i don't want to think about ive been thinking about a certain person well wouldn't say thinking there popping in my head i could just be washing up or eating or in bed with my partner n boom in my head and it's awful i haven't spoken to the person in over 5year maybe even 6 i don't see them as live in a different town but there name got mentioned a few months ago n now there 4 ever popping up I've been reading up on it and it's all part of anxiety n OCD u could just be listening to a song or see something on TV or in a mag ect and because of the anxiety something can get stuck in you're head even though you no its wrong to think about it its there could take a week for the thought to dissappear maybe months but they will pass ino it's hard to deal with but once you understand it a bit better it helps anxiety picks on the stuff that knows gets to you the most so try shake it off tell yourself your not bothered it's just cos you're poorly i hope I've helped and wish you better soon x
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    • Posted

      Hi, Thanks for your reply, it is consuming everday at the moment, im trying to ignore and also confront the thoughts, im trying to be so strong 

      im not functioning as i should or eating. Just want them to dissapear but i know i should forgive myself im a good person im going to keep telling myself this.

      Tracy

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  • Posted

    I have watched my sister being completely torn apart by things she has done in the past, things she believed were so bad she couldn't speak of them.  She self-medicated on drugs instead of seeking help which just made the self-recriminations all the worse.  The past is the past and other then seeking forgiveness from the people we have hurt there is nothing much more to be done.  The important thing is how we decide to live today and each day thereafter.  
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