Posted , 6 users are following.
My anxiety and agoraphobia have intensified, I am not keeping food down well, frequent toilet trips, constant panic and fear, little sleep, waking in panic, crying and screaming in distress and elevated intolerable panic on leaving the house.
I am due to restart therapy soon but can't get there and the doc said I wont benefit from it in this terrible state, I must stabilise first.
I have tried lots of meds in my life and had many adverse side effects which left me with an intense phobia of new ones, therapy could help with this too but I can't get there until I am stable.
I am currently on 20mg diazepam per day, been on that for years, the dose was increased by 2mg in January, it didn't do a lot but stopped me screaming so much.
This morning the doc said the only real option at this point in time is to increase it again to take the edge off and then seek the therapy for my problems and my phobia of new meds, sounds like a plan but I am scared.
He says I am tolerant to diazepam, this is true but when I updose I do still feel very strange, bit drunk, unsteady, spacey, poor memory etc.
Now I do need relief, I really do but I'm so scared it will kill me or something, current dose is as follows:
He said take:
Oh my gosh, I am going to be out of it on that much, I'm not sure it's even safe to take 11mg, I mean he is a doctor but it's a scary amount of diazepam to wake up and take and that is without the extra 2mg at night.
I realise I have no real choice, I and my family need some relief until therapy can start but it's a lot and I am tiny, I mean 5 ft 1 and 7 stone 4 so I am very slight, what if my body can't cope with it?
I am scared that it wont even help too but I have tried to be strong and face my fears, it's just too much at the moment though, I simply cannot cope with this level of anxiety and panic.
I always thought 10mg in one single dose was the max you could take so 11mg in the morning feels scary.
Gosh, so scared here, not sure what to do just know I do need something to take the edge off
0 likes, 49 replies