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Hi Jordan,

I have two small children and feel exactly the same as you. I am awaiting cultures back and the last week has been a living hell. My "outbreak" if that is what is was has been mild and is already gone but I am terrified of touching my children. I disinfect the bath, my hands, the toilet constantly. I am so terrified and the mental pain is killing me. My doctor suspects that I self innoculated as I had a recent coldsore and I am in a long term stable relationship.

I can't offer any advice but just let you know that I am in the same situation.

You can't give your children this by kissing them. If you have HSV 1 down there chances are very slim you have it orally but if you do just don't kiss them on their lips. You can not pass it by a toilet seat. You are just causing yourself more stress then needed. If your soon to be husband cant stand by you through this then you don't want him in your life anyways, that's ridiculous.

I too am I. The healing stage of my outbreak. I was diagnosed alittle over two weeks ago as well. I just took my last pill. Had to take it for 10 days. I take the same as you. I also have the same tingling and itching sensation you do. It has caused me so many sleepless nights. Last night was the first night I slept more than two hours in like 4 days. The itching has almost stopped all together and I am able to wipe normally again. Without having to dab but still sore from the itching so I am very careful. I still see the blisters. They are faint but still there. I was worried that I was having another outbreak bit read on the internet that the itching is normal when you are healing. It's the same with any type of infection. So don't worry it will pass. I also have two kids. I've been washing my hands non stop. I have almost become ocd about it in a way afraid that I will spread it somewhere else on me or my children. I won't share a drink with them even though I don't have it on the mouth just genital. I have hsv1 also. My dr told me that usually it's just the one outbreak that 90% of people never have another one. That's why it is better than having type 2. They say that because it oral even though I have it in the genitals that it's harder to pass to your partner. In a way it seemed like it just goes away. You carry the antibodies still bit being type 1 it is way better to deal with. That is what helped me get through this. I have been so scared to pass it on to someone especially my kids. I don't let anyone go to the bathroom right away after I do because I get scared. I have read that it doesn't live outside the body so passing it from a toilet or anything like that is nearly impossible but when it comes to my kids I'm not taking any chances. I'm still angry that I was stupid and got this but this board has helped ease my mind a lot. I hope this has helped you. You will get through this. As far as the fiancé just have him get tested. It is a shock for him just as much as it is for you and he may be distant but you need to let him so that way he can deal with it. Just from the perspective that my ex gave me is that it is hard to watch me be in pain and he can't do anything about it. So that's probably what he is feeling as well. Not to mention he's probably just as scared as you are. Give it time and he will come around. Have him read about it and then he will realize that it's not so bad. I'm sorry this is so long but we pretty much have the same exact thing going at the same time so I thought I would share from my perspective on things. All you can do at this point is be honest with him have him ask any questions he has and share what you have learned. He needs his mind at ease just as much as you do. I hope this helps

Rest assured that the measures you are taking to prevent possible transmission to your kids are more than enough, if not a tad excessive! Your infection is genital, not oral, and HSV doesn't survive long outside of the body. But if it brings you better peace of mind, then by all means continue.

I have read that genital HSV-1 may sometimes cause a worse primary outbreak than HSV-2, but after the initial outbreak, genital HSV-1 typically recurs and sheds a lot less. Genital-to-genital transmission of HSV-1 is low and most unlikely if your fiance already has oral HSV-1 (I'm assuming that's how you got it, from oral sex, as that's the most common transmission route).

As a result of the above, you are unlikely to need daily suppressive therapy and may wish to first observe how your body handles the infection without antiviral meds, or only take them in the event of a recurrent outbreak, which should be much milder than this one.

Oral HSV-1 can pass to the genitals during oral sex, sometimes without noticeable symptoms (asymptomatic shedding). I am assuming you are mad at your fiance for giving you this, so just pointing this out, as he may not have known. And, yes, in many ways genital HSV-1 is much better than HSV-2.

Take care!