New Acceptance of GAD and struggling...

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I was diagnosed with GAD around this time last year alongside Insomnia. At the time I was ready to accept any help and thought it was an insignificant part of my life. A year on, I am acknowledging the way I am reacting to things and noticing that this really isn't "normal", The hardest thing is that I am struggling to find that I am far from understood and that I'm using it as an excuse or "blaming it" on the anxiety.

I am irrationally and unexplainably emotional at times and want to cry all the time when I am becoming anxious or over-thinking to the extremes. I'll cry anywhere, at home, in the street, at the gym. It doesn't matter. It's becoming too much right now and I have a doctors appointment booked to discuss help, but I have no idea what I'm doing. It's destroying my relationship at the minute.

I'm just looking for some advice, coping mechanisms or understanding. Anybody... sad 

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  • Posted

    Hi Victoria

    I know exactly what you are going through.  What got me through and back on my feet was Rescue Remedy spray for the panic/emotional meltdown times, this is a natural remedy and safe for anyone inc children.

    I also stopped ALL caffeine and alcohol and replaced it with lots of camomile tea which is also an excellent sleep aid.

    Breathing slowly and deeply will also calm you down as will focusing on something you love. really concentrate your mind on a subject that makes you smile and if your mind starts to wonder to negative thoughts drag it back kicking and screaming.

    This is not an overnight quick fix but i'm now doing well and gone from not going out the house for months to actually having my life back, it's worth the effort and involves NO addictive meds.

    I hope this helps, and please stay strong you CAN and Will get through this smile

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    • Posted

      Thank you so much...! Anything means everything to me right now. I drink coffee from time to time, does that make a hugh impact...?

      I'll pop out to get some spray now. lol..

      I know overcoming this is going to be the biggest struggle on my life, but thank you for your words. I'm hoping that speaking with people that understand will make this easier. smile

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  • Posted

    Hi

    I didn't realise how huge caffeine impacted on me till after I stopped using it.  Tea conatins more caffeine than coffee and fizzy drinks also impact loads.  All I drink now is decaf coffee, cammomile tea decaf green tea and mint tea and for me personaly that was the biggest step to getting my life back on track.

    Are you based in UK? if so I get my spray from holland and barrett but you can also get it from some supermarkets smile  When I first started suffering and I discovered Rescue Remedy I was going through a large bottle every week but now I have not used it for 2mths smile but its always with me just in case smile

    Mel x

    Stay strong and you will get through this smile take each day as it comes.  I used to put a note on my bedside table that said TODAY IS GOING TO BE A GOOD DAY so that was the first thing I focused on when I opened my eyes.

    The smallest thing can make the biggest difference.

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    • Posted

      I am in the UK, yes, so I'll be popping into Holland & Barretts soon. Have you used Valerian..?! Apparently, it's meant to be good for sleeping, but there seems to be a lot of mixed reviews.

      First stop, off the caffeine, then the spray...

      Congratulations, in a non-patronising way, that must feel like a huge achievement to not have to use the spray anymore... smile

      Note next to the bed will fill the empty space next to my bed next...!

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    • Posted

      I have never tried it so not sure. I have used the lemon balm capsules which are also very good for keeping you calm.  I the early days I had a lemon balm capsule every morning and my spray as and when i needed it which was a lot to start with.

      Thank you smile yes I feel good about myself and never thought I would feel human again a few months ago but here I am smile

      I'm having CBT at the moment but to be honest I dont feel I need it but I will finish the course as I dont want to go down that awful road again.

      Deffo avoid caffeine and any pop or juices that conatin it as it is a hidden ingrediant in coke and many other soft drinks.  It takes a while to clear your system but the benefits are massive smile

      Mel x

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    • Posted

      I'm pretty clean on my diet apart from the coffee, and I did notice differences in my mood once I'd cleaned my act up...

      I'll get the capsules as well and test run those...

      Anything is worth a go...! :D

      Thank you so, so much for your words. I hope the CBT goes well...x

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  • Posted

    I completely understand.

    For me, the crying often comes from depression which presented itself when I realized that anxiety is not necessarily going to go away. When I was first diagnosed, I was motivated to fix myself and get everything lined up so I could be healed but then as time went on and I kept trying all of these different tricks and techniques and would STILL have anxiety, I started to get depressed.

    What has helped me most is to understand that I can't fight it so hard. It's much easier said than done but a lot of times I will allow myself to just cry and think and feel however I need to---to let out the suppressed feelings from trying to pretend I'm so strong. It helps me. Also, counseling helps me a lot too.

    I wish you the best of luck and lots of healing!

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    • Posted

      Do you mind me asking how many years you've struggled with the combination...?!

      Did you find it easier to cope with once you'd been diagnosed...?

      The crying just feels "inconvenient", like it's getting in the way of life. At least if I was able to just cover it up, I could deal with it when I was ready and not affect anyone else. I'm feeling very guilty for having this.

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    • Posted

      Hi Victoria,

      I started having panic attacks about 16 years ago. At that time, the panic attacks were few and far between but I had a lot of anxiety at night. My anxiety went away for 5 years in the middle. For 3 years now I've been struggling quite a bit off and on. The depression struggle started this last December when I experienced intrusive thoughts and since then, I do struggle with it off and on.

      I am learning to just keep on keeping on even when I don't feel like it and to just acknowledge that my thoughts are anxious and try to keep going.

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  • Posted

    Hi Victoria;

    I have only just woken up and logged on , and was drawn to your story which is and sounds horrendous; the fact that your acknowledge your promlems and are willing to ask for help is for me very much your first steps to recovery, I am not sure what GAD is but once I have woken up with my cuppa I will google it and read up a little about it.

    The things about your emotional state are very much my story, like yourself one small incident outside or anywhere can set me off and into uncontrolable tears and fatige , my breathing all goes wrong, my heart is pumping far too fast and I am often on the floor in a mess.

    I have a real issue with noise and living 100 feet from the bust Fulham Road doesnt help this with sirens going by every 2 minutes and planes flying above my head, people all over the place and babies cryinh.

    My nervous sytem is shot , and for me there is no escape from the hell it has become to me, even when I have tried to move the Housing Association who are not just rotten but evil in so many ways have blocked my move or found other ways to stop me from doing what I ensentially need to do move out to a quieter lifestyle.

    I have had 4 years of hell in my housing association flat and this week am facing due to the wickedness of the Landlord facing a 3/4 hr trial before a judge in Court while the Landlord attempts to have me thrown out of the property.

    I also happen to live with HIV (28 years), I have liver and lung problems, and chronic lymphodema.

    The stress is unbearable at times.

    However without going deeply into all my woes and health issues as it is inistelf depressing, I have accumalated the very debilitating illness of severe anxiety.

    I am frquently in and out of hospital and even there I am finding my anxoety levels increase while we all watch and see the ruining of our N H S Hospitals and how run down they are, I often will walk out when the anxiety becomes too too much, and sometimes thats not a good thing , I have even pulled the drip out in anxiety and then caused myself to fall and slip in my own blood which is poring out of me.

    So what I am trying to say to you here is , living with anxiety is a real learning curve, it requires a lot of support and nuture.

    It is so important you get all the relevant help and support you can and often this you find will be a real fight and battle in itself.

    As it has been for me fighting for 2 1/2 years to get a social worker, this was refused for the third time just last month.

    I agree you should go see your GP and if you feel like your not being heard or misunderstood it may even mean finding a new sypathetic GP who has time for you .

    Being relatively new in here I also cannot recomend this site more and more to warriors like yourself who know what the problem is and are learning like us all that the majoirity of mainstream sociaty havent a clue what it means to live with Anxiety and we are very much misunderstood everywhere we go.

    Make this your daily bread  is my advice and use it like its you re building the damaged section of your home and clock in as I do and use the sight to gain all the knowlege and information and as I have found I am able to slowly get myself on a better levelled thought pattern and those dire thoughts that tells me everything is a disaster start to become actually very small and workable issues that  can be sorted out.

    I cant confess I am any where near to my old happy go lucky person but I have found that accessing and using this sight is probably more benificial than having any soical worker come in and organize my life.

    To have so many others here who understand me clearly and who are able to show me how they achieved things when they happened and to just have some peace and calmness to my day.

    I am mumbling quite a lot here

    I send you a hug and lots of encouragement right now.

    PJ

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    • Posted

      the warriors in here are now my social workers.

      I can ask them anything and if i am not coping and overwhelmed through others in here o can find answers in how to pick myself up off the floor and actually cope too.

      x

      PJ

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    • Posted

      Thank you, your story is an inspiriation. You've been battling for so many years and you're still breathing to tell the story. Crumbling on the floor seems to be a feeling that lasts forever, but then, it sounds a little contradicting, it seems to be as though it never happened once you're able to pick yourself up and breath. But that feeling of being on the floor is unexplainable if it's something you've not experienced yourself.

      Do you feel as though the social workers help...?

      I'm happy to hear that you have support in place, and am again inspired by you to plough through each day.

      You're right, this site is helping already.

      P.S GAD is Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

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    • Posted

      Hi Victoria

      Thanks for enlightening me about GAD.

      I dont have any social worker today, it is something I have fought and been screaming out for beliieving I really needed them.

      I have come to the conclusion who needs a social worker thats a professional and not there for me but at the professional level.

      What I have is far greater and much more powerful and it happens to be all the amazing new friends and comrades in here like yourself.

      We are each others social workers.

      deep down I have always believed we often have the answers to all of lifes problems inside us.

      Sometimes hose answers are so deeply burried i need others like those in here to show me where to search for that ultimate answer.

      Going to the mental health services  I now have major doubts about as a lot of what they offer is not really helpful to me nor what I am needing .

      And the fact that I am registered with the local the mental health unit, I really hate that they have so much of my confidential and most private information stored up about me which can be used against me given the right set of circumstances.

      There are better ways to deal with my anxiety and those days where I fall into a heap and this forum is majorly now so important to me and resuces me from falling into myself and those deep dark holes of despair.

      I will have these dark days again and again for sure but at least I am getting better equipped by others in here to know how to deal with things as they happen.

      Peace

      PJ

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    • Posted

      I understand completely. My biggest fear about going to "get help" and see if I can talk this through is that it will possibly built up a "record" against me...

      And you're right, inside of us we all have the answers, it's just a case of finding them...! Which can most definitely seem a struggle some days, and other days, I feel unbeatable like nothing can keep me down...

      The only thing that is making me feel brighter about this is, as you've said, writing here, speaking with others, knowing that we're not alone and there are others out there that understand. I'm already experiencing the stigma around and is making me wish that I hadn't of said anything at all. These times are hard; however, we do have one another...!

      Victoria...x

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    • Posted

      And that is why I am so grateful right now and every day since I found this forum just over a month ago.

      The strength we can gain from each other at a very personal level through the art of powerful and open conversation is something we can rely on and use to build up those areas of our life which crumbled and had us fall.

      Your Awesome for being there for me and an inspiration as well.

      Thank you kindly

      PJ

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