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New guy here...sharing my debilitating anxiety story

Posted , 6 users are following.

ciprian16987
ciprian16987

Hello. So im new on this forum and i would like to share my physical symptoms witch to this day are lurking with me....i have had a'n episode with panic attacks when i was younger that easily went away however 2 years ago for no apparent reason i had a huge panic attack when i was at a friend...i came home and i remember that night when i tried to go to sleep i had a feeling of terror in my gut and i would blow awake...Then it all turned so bad...i started googling symptoms and i came across pancreatic cancers and stuff and i started having stomach pains and problems with bowel movements....i fell so deep into this worry that my body just gave up....i could not fall asleep for a week straight i would wake up gasping for air whenever i would keep my eyes closed for more than 10 seconds....i was convinced i am going to die to the point i found myself crying in the waiting room at my gp waiting for him to give me the bad news....surprise my bloodwork and everything was clean....still the stress in my body kept going....i kept googling and i somehow stumbled across Als Ms cognitive problems and stuff ....let me tell you that after a few days i started having severe muscle twitching and stiff muscles all over my body..myoclonic jerks at night ...blurred vision ...everything under the sun....here i am 2 years later and while the jerks and stuff went away my muscles are twitching daily like crazy and nothing seem to help...while i feel like im not worrying that much about it i still find myself googling about als storries atleast once a day....so this is how anxiety f****d my life and i think i also developed some sort of Ocd about this stuff because i keep googling s**t about everything under the sun and i cannot stop doing it ...every little thing thats happening 2 me is something that i instantly google and read everyhing there is about it. Still im trying to stay positive and live my life even tho i feel i am severely depressed and i can't seem to bond with anyone and connect with people because honestly even when im around people sometimes i find myself looking point blank in the air dived in my own thoughts....i hope i will be able to overcome this eventually.:) i would like to hear your toughts about this

0 likes, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • jan34534
    jan34534 ciprian16987

    Posted

    I have been through what you’re going through. And what I learned is that our mind, and our thoughts can be our worst enemy. All the fearful and negative thoughts are not based on reality. They are only based on one emotion, and that is fear.

    You are actually causing your own symptoms by the fear you have in your mind. your brain will believe what you are worried about and so that’s why you get all of those sensations. You have to put different messages into your brain that are positive.

    I had all the testing, thinking I had MS, ALS, and all kinds of other things. All of my testing was normal so that’s when I decided I had to stop the negative thoughts and stop looking things up!

    Also, the muscle twitching you get is perfectly normal when you have anxiety and stress. I’ve had it on and off for over 20 years! I think I would be gone by now if it was something serious. My neurologist told me that ALS is not a sensory disease. In other words you’re not going to feel anything unusual such as the twitching, etc. The muscle twitching that is normal is called Benign fasciculations.

    so basically, you are really torturing yourself for no reason. which is what I did.

    If you are having a problem, controlling all of this, I would highly suggest you speak with a counselor who can help you manage it. It’s too difficult to do alone.

    I will also private message you.

  • emma83352
    emma83352 ciprian16987

    Posted

    It's like I wrote this myself. Anxiety is tough, but talking about it is the first step in overcoming it. In my opinion at least. Thanks for sharing your story.

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