New here! Need some advice please.

Posted , 5 users are following.

Hi all

Was diagnosed with depression in October of last year. It had been coming on for a while but October a number of factors tipped me over the edge. I became so weepy and upset for no reason. The thought of going into work would make me feel physically sick and sometimes i would be wretching when getting ready. 

I talked to close friends and it helped. I'd walk the dog more, vent some energy. I tried my hardest to make an effort and go out etc but sometimes it just didnt happen. 

Eventually the doc tried me on Fluoxitine 20mg which was upped but it has some side effects so we tried citalopram. 

Ive been up and down since, but mainly feeling better than I was, still low but a bit more in control the past month or so. I am now on Citalopram 40mg's a day. This seems a lot compared to others doses I am reading about on here. 

This morning however (and an episode last week) ... I got into work and just had a total meltdown. My heart was thumping and i couldnt hold back any tears. I'm now home trying to calm and I thought typing it out would help. I feel so lost and I dont know what to do.

I know I have barely been feeling this compared to the legnth of time some people have been going through it but I just dont know what else to do. I am loosing interest in the things i loved and urrrgh .... I dont know. My memory is awful now too and i cant concentrate. 

Anyway ... sorry for ranting. I just needed to vent. 

Thanks for reading this. 

Only question i have is does anyone else take the same dose of Citalopram that I do? Seems high compared to what ive read.   

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9 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Steph.

    First of all thank you very much for sharing your story.

    This isn't an answer to your question but I was wondering, have you ever tried any other forms of therapy besides medication?

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    • Posted

      I try and exercise and talk to people when I can. Exercise helps quite a bit but I have a dodgy knee so it's not something I can indulge in a lot. 

      ​Unless I misunderstood your question?? 

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    • Posted

      Sorry, yes I think so.

      I'm asking - you've been given Citalopram and Fluoxetine so these are anti-depressants. So you've gone to a GP with symptoms that give the doctor a reason to diagnose you with Depression. You say the initial occurence of this depression started back in October.

      Basically what I'm asking is, in terms of therapy, what help are you receiving besides medication? Counselling, CBT, EMDR, guided self help and so on.

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    • Posted

      It had been going on before October but i started to get worse and be medecated in October. 

      I havent received councelling .... He talked about it to me but at the time I wasnt comfy talking to anyone, it took a lot to go and chat to him about it in the first place. It will be something to mention again though I think, 

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    • Posted

      I know this may seem like a lot to dump on you but it's worth thinking about anyway, if it helps.

      First of all I'd urge you to read the thread I started called 'To Medicate or To Not Medicate'. 

      Secondly, doctors (GP's usually – people who have a surprising lack of knowledge in the field of psychology) will prescribe medication until the cows come home, and they're satisfied they can go home at night and live whatever lives they have. Those they give the medication to, however, don't have that luxury.

      Say for instance, as an example, you head to a GP's surgery and talk to them about your symptoms. The GP will say, you have depression. You will be given a prescription for Fluoxetine and be told to try it for a month to allow it to kick in. You find after a month it doesn't work – so you stop; still feel depressed. Then comes the process of trying another medication - Citalopram. Again, wash, rinse, repeat, the medication needs a month. You don't feel any better on it so then the doctor suggests another medication – Sertraline, maybe. Wash, rinse, repeat, you don't feel any better so the doctor suggests another – Paroxetine, possibly. One month later, it's Alprazolam, perhaps. Another month later, might be Mirtazapine. You could have even been given higher or lower doses of these drugs in between times.

      So then think – and remember this is just an example and does not necessarily apply to you at this point - from the second you walked into that GP's surgery, you've tried 6 different medications, all with varying results, at different doses, and your life is no better because of it [really]. It hasn't pushed you out the door and when you do go outside, you still feel overcome to some degree with a sense of loss; that something is missing; you're depressed, essentially.

      The question I ask is – when you think about it, how long has this process taken and what other therapies have you actually tried? And in the process, do you feel any better? And if the answer to that is no, might it be the case that this form of treatment (ie. the medication route) is not working and it might be worth trying something else free from medication?

      Counselling may help but it depends entirely on what you feel is the cause of the depression. Counselling deals (though not exclusively) in helping deal or at least talk about past traumas or trauma you experience now and helping you find ways of getting through it.

      I'll tell you what - if you don't feel comfortable talking about what you feel is the problem in public then please feel free (if you wish) to discuss it with me in private and I'll advise you on what I feel is the best way forward.

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    • Posted

      They feel like they work for a while ... then i have a big draw back. I dont know if this is normal or not, I've never felt like this before and have no clue whats happening which in itself is frustrating. 

      The doctor and I have talked about other therapies before i was medicated but the few I was happy to do would mean a change in schedule and I was not comfy with that as I dont want my family to notice and I just went around and around and around in a stressed out circle thinking of the horror of telling them. (They are not horrible people but they will talk about it to each other and this thought upsets me a lot). 

      This in itself caused the GP to medicate me. I try exercise and it's good as I feel properly tired when I go to bed and not just a side effect of the meds ....

      ............ Blargh. 

      Thanks for listening. smile

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    • Posted

      Hi Boing

      I dont know where to start.... I have been coming on to this site a few times since I was told that I am suffering from anxiety and depression. I have read your advice to a few persons here and find it the most helpful. I was wondering if you could help me. Thanks.

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  • Posted

    Some of the best advices would be to never miss yor medications and take each and every medication on time as prescribed by your mental health physician. Another important thing is too think positive. 
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