New relationship she has herpes I don't.. Need some answers please!!

Sad that not everyone is honest about what they have. Many chose to ignore it and pretend they never contracted it and so the virus continues to spread to many. Once contracted it stays with you forever . Some people never have another outbreak after their initial outbreak, while others have it so frequent they take anti viral medication on a daily basis to prevent the painful outbreaks. 

She sounds like a great girlfriend ...she waited to have sex and to tell you. If you love her just know the chance you take. I've had friends who never contracted it from their significant other. 

Hard decision......

Hello James,

                    Glad your seeking advice rather than running for the hills, thanks for not freaking out on the poor girl, it must take some guts for her to tell you and she must really care for you.

I have the virus too, but I am in a long relationship and got it during the relationship from what we think during oral sex, but even though I have had the virus 4 going on 5 years now, me and my partner have unprotected sex (hence I have a week left till I have our second child lol) and my partner does not have the virus or has never had an outbreak, men are more likely to be asymptomatic (to have it but never show any signs of it), either way he has never suffered what I have (thankfully), this does not mean you will be the same, every individual is different. 

My advice is to take things slow, as you were, tell her to watch out for the signs of shedding the virus, like irritation down there and leg/thigh/vj tingly pains, they are a common sign the virus is shedding, also the place she had the outbreak is the place where she will shed the virus, some are unlucky to have it on the very intimate area mines only on the pubic hair area so my pubic hair actually offers extra protection, if you can find out where it occurs it might help.

I understand it must be a scary prospect for you but appreciate the fact that she informed you and gave you the choice as most people unfortunately find out as a nasty suprise which is very unfair, yes there is a stigma with this virus but honestly theres millions with the virus and its just a skin condition thats irritating and can occur every so often, people still live a healthy active life with it.

Hope this helped and best of luck.

Mandy

 

Hi I would recommend calling the Herpes Virus Association Helpline...those guys are the most up to date knowledgeable people about this condition.  They will answer all your questions and reassure you.  Check out their website too.  The transmission rates are really low, especially if she has had it for more than 2 years and never had another outbreak.  The Herpes Virus Association can also advise you both on how to lower the risk of transmission.  They will tell you that you are more likely to catch it from someone who doesn't know they have the virus rather than someone who does and is being honest with you like your girlfriend is.  You are doing the right thing and I hope this will allay your fears.  Don't let a few coldsores get in the way of what could be a beautiful, loving relationship