New to Herpes.

Thank you so much. What's Epsom and where can I get it. Bearing in mind I'm from the UK....?? Sometimes these things are American from stores we don't have? Also it's gHSV2 That I have.

Epsom salt can be found at your local drug store/chemist.Epsom salt is world wide.

I'd feel pretty confident that he is a asymptomatic carrier and you got it from him. Did you check out that site?

Ok I see. Thanks I shall keep an eye out for it.

I did check out the site it is actually so helpful and gave me an idea on how to break it to my bf.

So is asymptomatic like, he has it but shows no symptoms so has no idea then??

Thanks again.

Yes he either has zero symptoms or he had such mild that comes and goes, he attributes it to something else. This happens, there have been two females on this site, who had no idea they had hsv 2, until a blood test. The one said she had zero symptom's, the most recent girl ended up after chatting w me, identifying what were symptoms for the last 6yrs. It was nerve pain that came and went down her left leg.... Once she heard u have nerve pain from herpes, she put two and two together. She's never had anything else though. Over 80% of people have it and don't know it for this reason.

I'm glad that site really helped you out. They even encourage the partner to sign up as well.

Oh gosh. Yeah I had every symptom possible when I first got it. I'd never been so ill before but I think the next times won't be so intense. Although it helped me establish what was making me ill. I'll probably tell him to get checked out then it's best. Thank you so much for your help by the way!

If you got that sick, then it is a new infection w out a doubt.

Not a problem, glad I could help. Let me know how things go.

Hi, I am really interested in your reply to 99552 as you have almost confirmed what I had feared this lady has possibily got the virus from her boyfriend within days of contraction.  I was diagnosed with the HSV2 just over 2 years ago, I was devastated to say the least as I have never slept around or had a one night stand and had been with the same man for 8 years, but we did have a break of 3 months 5 years ago..

I have always blamed him for the virus but when we went to get tested we were seen separately, he had a blood test and they also (so he said) put a needle into his penis, the results came back negative. 

I was told by a junior doctor at that time that the virus could have been laying dormant for years, however, I went to see my GP (a more exxperienced one) recently as this virus has haunted me ever since I was diagnosed and she asked me whether I had just 1 or 2 blisters or was there many of them, I said it was the full monty, I was covered in them down below, she said in that case you would have contracted this quite soon before the actual symptons appeared. She also said that he could be a carrier of the virus but still have a negative blood test, I am completely confused.  I am not with him now, partly because I do not trust him, he swears that he has not been with anyone else since we got back together 5 years ago but I have caught him telling lies and I cannot help but feel it was him who gave it to me even though his has denied it emphatically and says his tests were negative. I am waiting to have some counselling at my GU clinic as this virus has put me off of sex completely.

What I need to know is when I had the symptons in March 2013 (I was very run down and stressed at the time), and bearing in mind he was the only man I had been with in 8 years, would it have been from him and if so would that mean he had been with someone else just before I got the symptons? But he did have negative tests, or at least that is what he told me.  If he has sex with someone else could he pass it on to them?  So many questions and  I am so confused and just want some answers.

Thanks for reading this.

Hey. I completely understand your situation because the guy who I've been with the last while could be a carrier but I had also slept with someone before him who has had quite a few partners in the past but what gets me is that it was my first time of gHSV2 and it was days or so after sleeping with my bf so that means it must be him as apparently you get your first outbreak within days of contraction.

As far as I'm aware of what I have come to assume is that perhaps the man you have been with is just a carrier and unaware of it like my bf?? Perhaps?

They do not put needles into your penis, that is a load of garbage. They do how ever use a big thing that looks like a qtip and swab inside the penis for the bacterial STDs, but not for viruses. They don't really do that now, as urine tests can show those bacterial STDs.

Did you ever ask to see his test results? one of my good friends was initially an asymptomatic carrier. We are sure of that, because her bf apparently gave it to her before she deployed to Iraq, but she was asymptomatic... It wasn't until she had been in Iraq for a few months, that she experienced and ob, because of her stress. Guess what her ob was? 3 sores and that's it. She did not get sick or anything. She hadn't had sex over there and her bf got tested and came up positive.

Doctors are taught to give that answer because 1. It is plausible. 2. most don't know jack about herpes, especially if they're not a gyno. 3. They do not want to start a domestic war w he said/she said and have a defamation suit against them. They are taught to stick to the science and not get involved in the rest.

So there's a couple caveats to this.

1. You need to ask to see those results to be sure.

2. It is true that it takes and best practice they say four months, but at minimum, 3months after infection to create antibodies. so it is very plausible he came up negative. Since I had something to culture, my culture test did come back positive, but my blood test cane back negative. I went back 3 months later and that time, my blood tests came back positive.

4. If he had no signs or symptoms, he's probably clueless. Did he have any signs or symptoms the rest of the time you guys were together? If not, he likely gave it to you and could be an asymptomatic carrier.

5. Yes, he is at risk at passing it and the ones who deny their diagnosis or are unaware of it, are the cause of 70% of the cases of infecting others.

I understand how betrayed you feel and because I didn't have that type of history w my giver, I'm sure it was easier for me to move on from, but I had a hard time. I've been infected a yr in July and I've yet to be w anyone. I went two yrs no sex before that one time and boom, get this. Fun stuff huh?

Just no that this is not the end of the world. I think it isn't so much the herpes that's the problem for you, but what it represents to you; which is betrayal and pain. I'm glad you are seeking help to work on this.

Thank you so much for your replies.

I suppose I guessed that the needle in the penis was garbage, but he has always exagerated.  He did not have any signs at all when we were together, absolutely nothing.  What I really want to know is that if he caught it when we had a break 5 years ago, well we were not together but, would he have caught it just before I had the outbreak? for example, I got the outbreak in March 2013 would that mean he may have been with someone else a 2/3 months before that or maybe it lay dormant for a few years?  I am upset, confused and angry.  He has the capacity to cheat having done it on his wife many years ago, He loves the females and has a high sex drive, the more I think about all this the more I think it must be him, but all his tests have come back negative and he swears on 'his wife's grave' there has been no one else.  I just wish I could get to the bottom of all this so I can move on.

You are right it isn't just the herpes but the betrayal assuming that it was him, I just don't know, he has absolutely no signs of the virus at all.

Still waiting for a call grom the GU clinic to speak to someone, hopefully I will feel better afterwards.

Hun, there is no telling... No point in trying to pin point that, you'll drive yourself bananas! It is possible that he could have caught it on the break and you didn't catch it till later.. , but also possible, he eas unfaithful. You're not contagious 24/7 w this virus.

I know it can be hard to move on after a relationship that long, but I think you being a woman know in your gut the truth and you need to trust that and also become comfortable w the fact that you may never know the details. I'm a spaz, so I know how hard it can be to let it go, but cut yourself some slack. It won't change anything now, unless you're looking for the answer to decide if you wanna give him another shot? That's kinda what I'm thinking, why you're hanging on to this, cause you wanna know if he betrayed you or not...am I right?

I tend not to believe sh*t men say, who are known cheaters like my ex. He who worshipped his grandfather, swore on his life and he was still alive, and eventually the lie came out and he admitted it. People like that have no soul, it means nothing to them to swear on someone, especially if they're already dead and especially I'd they don't believe in god or the bible... Or at least question it. He also had cheated on his ex wife multiple times.

Hun, over 80% of people w genital herpes, have no idea they have it because they are asymptomatic. There are people who come on here confused, because they were diagnosed by blood test and had no symptoms ever.

If you want the truth, have him go get tested now and show the results to you.

Thank you so much for your reply, yes you are right, I really do want to know if he has betrayed me, at least then I can move on. I don't want to get back into the relationship as I know it just wouldn't work, too much has happened and there has been so many lies, I even came across adult dating sites in his history on his iPad in February, he said as he is not too familiar with computers (which to be fair he isn't) he doesn't know how these sites got there, the alarm bells rang!  Since then I have not slept with him and don't want to.

I thought that the virus was with you 24/7, I don't mean having the symptoms but if I met someone else I would have to tell them that I have it as I could still pass it on even without having any symptoms. 

I have asked him to have tests but he refuses, he could afford to have it done privately but won't do it.

Maybe I do have to put it all behind me but unfortunately with this type of virus it stays with you for life, 

I understand all too well betrayal, been there myself. Sorry for your troubles.

The virus is w you 24/7, but it is not contagious 24/7. You do still have to inform another of your status and educate them on the risks. Please google H opportunity.. This site does have disclosure pamphlets you can download w the latest info, that you can print out and give to a new partner.

So the following transmission rates are as follows, under the following caveats. Female to male, Sex 2-3xs a week for a year, abstaining during signs or symptoms.

- no condoms or meds(daily suppressive therapy) : 4%

- condoms or meds- 2%

- condoms and meds: 1%

So obviously when you have symptom's, you are contagious, but there are times that you have asymptomatic shedding, that for some and most, show no signs or symptoms, but there's enough virus at the surface of the skin, to be contagious.

Someone who refuses to tests, knows they have it... You don't need to be w someone like that. There was a girl on here who got hsv 2 after a year recently w her bf.. He shows no signs or symptoms, didn't think he had it. Just saw her post that his test came back positive. He was willing to take the test, because he didn't believe he had it and had nothing to hide. Red flag stay away from your ex.

I know it feels like it's all herpes that's causing you this agnst, but it's not. It's other stuff and herpes just puts a spot light on it more. Once you heal and get over things w your ex, you will not be so bothered by herpes anymore, so don't stress it. Hang in there and keep your head up. Feel free to pm me anytime. :-)

Yeah it was so painful and lasted a while!

Well i promise if u alleviate all the stressors out of your life take your medicine regularly keep clean down there and keep your immune system up and also wrknout to all this prevents outbreaks frm reoccurring it will be a mpnth for me nxt week i only had one for three days and im okay