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I am new to patient, and was recommended by a doctor.
I sadly lost my dad in July and was feeling very low. I seen my GP who advised me of this site and also councilling available but am unsure on weather to go and thought I would try this first.
My dad went through a lot and I seen him deteriate with a very serious illness to get better to then get worse. So as a family we all struggled. Seeing the change of such a happy and positive man then become so weak he depended on us felt very sad, and the changes he went through during treatment made us all fear for the worst.
Since the death of my dad I experience a lot of nightmares, these are a range from dreams with blood, scaring or feeling I have a guilty conscience.
I didn't know weather this could be down to stress. I feel like it all stemmed from 4 years ago when my dad was first taken ill, this is because I felt low then too.
Not only that I was going through exams and difficulties with an ex boyfriend. That relationship was toxic for me.
A lot happened and I often got called names which now inputs into my mind that I'm not good enough or don't feel smart.
The relationship wasn't healthy for me and now since I feel anytime I feel happy I get down about how others may think of me.
I've recently started seeing someone who I've known since reception. His a lovely person but as we have been friends all these years them question weather the feelings on his side will last or if he will feel it's to much to be more than friends.
I'm always worrying and feeling I may be not good enough and feel that I wouldn't want to get to attached or into it as I feel like if something bad was to happen, on top of everything else it would make me feel low again.
I experience it on and off and I do just want to let myself be happy.
I've recently got a job within a care home and really enjoy my job, so have applied within full time for support work which I really hope goes well.
I really just wanted to talk to someone who could relate to the dreams,feelings, or worries that I have. And also I feel free to discuss anything that anyone has to ask me. If I can relate I will talk, I understand how people feel and actually find talking helps me. However most of my friends avoid topic incase of upsetting me, which it won't.
Thankyou for taking time to read.
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