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new to patient. Weird dreams, stress and feeling low.

Posted , 4 users are following.

alll
alll

I am new to patient, and was recommended by a doctor.

I sadly lost my dad in July and was feeling very low. I seen my GP who advised me of this site and also councilling available but am unsure on weather to go and thought I would try this first.

My dad went through a lot and I seen him deteriate with a very serious illness to get better to then get worse. So as a family we all struggled. Seeing the change of such a happy and positive man then become so weak he depended on us felt very sad, and the changes he went through during treatment made us all fear for the worst.

Since the death of my dad I experience a lot of nightmares, these are a range from dreams with blood, scaring or feeling I have a guilty conscience.

I didn't know weather this could be down to stress. I feel like it all stemmed from 4 years ago when my dad was first taken ill, this is because I felt low then too.

Not only that I was going through exams and difficulties with an ex boyfriend. That relationship was toxic for me.

A lot happened and I often got called names which now inputs into my mind that I'm not good enough or don't feel smart.

The relationship wasn't healthy for me and now since I feel anytime I feel happy I get down about how others may think of me.

I've recently started seeing someone who I've known since reception. His a lovely person but as we have been friends all these years them question weather the feelings on his side will last or if he will feel it's to much to be more than friends.

I'm always worrying and feeling I may be not good enough and feel that I wouldn't want to get to attached or into it as I feel like if something bad was to happen, on top of everything else it would make me feel low again.

I experience it on and off and I do just want to let myself be happy.

I've recently got a job within a care home and really enjoy my job, so have applied within full time for support work which I really hope goes well.

I really just wanted to talk to someone who could relate to the dreams,feelings, or worries that I have. And also I feel free to discuss anything that anyone has to ask me. If I can relate I will talk, I understand how people feel and actually find talking helps me. However most of my friends avoid topic incase of upsetting me, which it won't.

Thankyou for taking time to read.

2 likes, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • judith1955
    judith1955 alll

    Posted

    Sounds like your grief is causing you to feel depressed. Your self esteem may be low because of the stress...Depression is hard enough to deal with ... add grief to the mix and you have a bad cocktail. Remember people like to hit us when we are down
    • alll
      alll judith1955

      Posted

      Thankyou Judith,

      I just know what I want with my life and I only want to do well.

      I find it hard to just concentrate on myself sometimes because I worry about others and I am a worrier.

      Instead of taking life as it comes I seem to panic at something even though it's going well.

      I'm looking forward to this new job, and working with older people who need help.

      Before that I always wanted to apply for a PSO which is within the probation, but I feel like support and things wasn't really gave to me, and I can only apply when vacancies come up so I need to gain some experience.

      I have got into a relationship with a nice young man who I've known for years.

      His got a good job as his in the army, but because it's new again, I worry if it goes wrong I won't only loose him as a friend but it will knock me down again due to me feeling rubbish anyway.

      I'm not very good with dissapointment, but I always try to expect the worse so I'm not dissapointed, but I think this makes it worse.

  • Christy1981
    Christy1981 alll

    Posted

    My dear,

    The nightmares are normal especially if you have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Anxiety Disorder. I was diagnosed as having such on top of Major Depressive Disorder. I still have dreadful nightmares, night terrors, toss and turn, have trouble getting to sleep and staying asleep as I wake up off and on. Depression differs from person to person. These are my unfortunate symptoms.

    Try a sleep aide if you have trouble sleeping. Ask your physican for a prescription of a mild to moderate sleep aide.

    Sleepy Time Tea you might wanna try or any OTC Supplement or Medicine for aiding in sleep.

    Exercise and being active help with coping with Depression. Laughing is wonderful. I literally would force a comedy on myself. If I needed to let it out as in tears and could not, I scheduled a cry by watching a very glume film.

    You are better than you feel. You will get there, just take care of yourself and everything else will fall into place.

  • Christy1981
    Christy1981 alll

    Posted

    I lost those most close to me too. I made a collage of my Grandpa and talked about him in stories. Kept his favorite foods around. Prayer works miracles above all. God knows your sadness and how hard it's been. Hand your sorrows to him.

    • alll
      alll Christy1981

      Posted

      Thanks Christy,

      I have tryed exercise and when I used the gym I used to feel

      A hole lot better, only the gym is expensive and at the moment I can't afford it due to only working part time so I'm hoping I get this full time job.

      Till then I try to make sure I go out with friends and talk but I do find it hard talking as I don't feel people are as interested as they say they are.

      My best friends at uni and even though she's always there for me she's not always there to call or pop over to see.

      Thankyou for all your help and advice.

  • borderriever
    borderriever alll

    Posted

    Your grief is pulling you down and for some reason you are looking upon yourself with a feeling you failed your Father in His final days, this would seem to many as wearing a hair shirt

    Do you feel talking about your loss would help. Have you discussed the loss with your Mam or close relative. To sort out this problem may help you understand your feelings and come to terms from your negative thoughts. I would imagine this could help you move on

    BOB

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