New to this - don’t know what to do!
Posted , 3 users are following.
I am currently abroad in a foreign country and whilst here I have been having a relationship with a local man. Since sleeping with him I have developed an outbreak of what appears to be classical genital herpes. Access to sexual health checks is not easy here and therefore I haven’t been able to get a diagnosis but I have spoke with a close family friend who is a nurse practitioner and she advised me to start Aciclovir treatment which I have. I now don’t know whether to speak to the guy about it to find out if he has it or not. I am scared of the answer in case he did know and did not tell me. I am also worried that he will blame me and think I am dirty! He still wants to see me while I am here but I am using excuses to avoid him so that I don’t end up in a situation where he wants to have sex.
I feel like I have ruined my life and I don’t see any chance of the future I once thought I would have. I can’t imagine ever being the same person again or anyone ever wanting to be with me in a sexual way.
I am due to return home shortly however only for one week before travelling to Asia for a year. I am now questioning whether I should even go as I don’t feel I will be able to enjoy myself the way I would have done before this happened.
I feel so alone and down and I don’t have anyone I can speak to. Any advice would be most appreciated 😔
2 likes, 6 replies
jenifer13 ambc22
Posted
hi, ambc22
I understand how your feeling is, but you shouldn't be discouraged. Herpes is too common and lots of people get it. If I were you, I'd like to talk my partner. As many people have herpes but they don't know until they get tested. In your situation, maybe your partner doesn't know he gets the infection. You should feel free to talk with him, the conversation should be gentle and comfortable. In case he blames you for herpes, you may stop this relationship. As a person who loves you will understand and sympathize with you, I think both of you should have a discussion. He deserves to know what’s happening to you. He also needs to protect himself if he hasn’t had herpes. Genital herpes looks like other infections or diseases, it's normal, so you shouldn't be worried. Treatments will help you prevent recurrences and have a date normally. Feel free to talk about it with your partner. Hope this comment is helpful for you!
ambc22 jenifer13
Posted
I think as well I feel so uncomfortable and disgusting with myself that I don’t know if i have the ability to yet speak to someone else about it if you know what I mean. I just feel so depressed and feel that my life is over.
jenifer13 ambc22
Posted
You shouldn't think that, your thought is killing you. Herpes can be prevented by treatments and lifestyles. You should think optimistically though I know you're hopeless, now. For your partner, you maybe feel difficult to talk with him as both of you have just been dating for 5 weeks. But how can you know his thought if you don't tell him. Keeping this secret only makes you feel guilty, hopeless and stressful. Maybe he will understand you after a conversation. Or this can help maintain your relationship though you return home.
ambc22 jenifer13
Posted
jenifer13 ambc22
Posted
Your mind may be in a mess now. But the trip to Asia is your dream, you should take this advantage to remove your stress and nervousness. Maybe it will help you relax and think about the infection optimistically. If you feel free, you can share your troubles to your best friend. She perhaps understands what you're suffering and helps you in your trip. You still have wonderful experiences with your friend. To do that, I think you should forget guilty and hopeless feelings. Let yourself enjoy the great chance.
jenifer13 ambc22
Posted
let me know your feelings if you're too hopeless. Keeping this secret may cause stress, so I just hope you can overcome negative thought and be happy. If you wanna share your fellings, feel free to talk
^