New to this forum and new to menapause. Really can do with some support.

Posted , 14 users are following.

Hi, I am new and I just joined this forum in order to get some perspective, I guess. I am 44 years old and in January this year, after some tests, I've been diagnosed with perimenopause. I still get my periods, but my cycles are all over the place. I have no one to talk to, because I find it uncomfortable burdening my friends with this stuff, as they are all much younger than me, and won’t be able to relate and my husband, as wonderful as he is, is still a man, that definitely can't relate. I've read a lot of different topics on this forum, from women who are going through the same thing, but one symptom hasn't been raised and that's depression. I feel like I am loosing myself in the process, I get very depressed, although by nature, I am a positive and outgoing person, who loves life. I can cry for days with no reason, I don't want to be around anyone, I feel like I am falling into a dark hole of depression and getting farther away from everyone and everything in this world. It's the only way I can describe this. I constantly have back pains, leg pains, joint pains, leg cramps. I am endlessly tired and lazy, I don't want to do anything. I've turned into a hypochondriac and constantly think that there's something wrong with my health. I can't take hormonal substitutes, because of bad cancer history in my family, so I try all these different natural supplements, but it's like playing a lottery, so far, I've tried 3 different kinds and nothing really works. Please, if you are battling the same thing, let me know, maybe we can help each other. I am at my wits end and my husband recommended me writing on this forum to ladies that are going through the same thing.

5 likes, 32 replies

Report / Delete

32 Replies

Next
  • Posted

    Hi marina I'm right there with you. I was having really weird horrible symptoms long before I was told In Feb that I'm perimenapausal and still am getting everything you have described plus more 😔. You think you have got over one symptom then it returns with many many more it's a very vicious circle. My anxiety is very bad at times. I don't really no how to ease your mind other than by telling you you are not alone and this forum is brilliant when you want peace of mind. Hang on in there xxx

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Hello Bev, thank you so much, just seeing so much support and love here and knowing, that I am not alone sets my mind at easy and leads me to believe, that I am OK and will be OK.
      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    39 here.  First symptoms started when I was 37.  I didn't know what was going on.  I started to feel hot ALL the time and gained almost 40 lbs in a 6 week timespan.  I was already taking sertraline for my mood but all of a sudden I was MORE moody and paranoid/depressed.  My migraines became more frequent and I would be sooo tired in the afternoon but couldn't actually sleep when it was time for bed!  And don't get me started on my libido.  It's currently playing hide and seek.  sad  I finally went in to see my Dr. about 6 months after I realized there could be a connection... I was expecting thyroid problems but nope.  I was in early peri-menopause.  I started taking One a Day Menopause vitamins that have helped with the flashes... thank goodness... and I've continued on the sertraline for my mood.  Oh and bought a bike for the weight.  I still haven't got a handle on the libido problem and I've gained a few more symptoms. Thin dry skin that scars VERY easily, acne like I am a teen again but NOT on my face... so weird.  I find everything to be trial and error.  I just wanted you to know you are NOT alone.  

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi Marina,

    I am new to this support page as well, I am 46 and going through exactly what you are going through, as many of us are. If have posted on Jaynee Jay 66 menopause discussion. Please look there you are not alone!

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi Marina,

    You are smart to reach out. This forum is very helpful! I share your symptoms, which started for me in Peri. I’m now 18 months post-meno (at 47) and still gave the muscle pain. Stretching keeps the worst of it at bay. The personality and emotional changes have been so hard. Like you, I’m usually a positive person. The depressed mood and debilitating anxiety are new to me in the last year. My doctor wants me to start Lexapro, but I’m going to try a holistic approach first. More yoga, get in some cardio each day and trying meditation. I supplement with magnesium, Vit D, E and B-12 and a multi. I try to keep sugar, salt, caffeine & alcohol to a minimum. No magic so far, but these things can’t be hurting me either. Good luck! Reach out anytime! 

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Hi Teri, thank you so much. Yes, I want to start doing Yoga, I've been doing breathing and it helps, just staing in the moment helps me a lot. One step at a time, hey.

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi Marina, not sure where you are reading but depression is discussed all the time. And it seems to be a very big symptom that hits most of us along with anxiety. Depression hit me before I even knew that I was heading into meno. One of the first symptoms along with gastritis. I'm still going through peri at 53 but the depression has finally lifted. I think just knowing that hormones can affect you this way helped because I was floating around undiagnosed with lots of horrible symptoms. 

    Great women on this forum, they can give you lots of suggestions. And just knowing that you aren't alone, well, that's huge. 

    XO

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi marina 

    You are not alone . Myself and many other women on here are having a hell of a time . Most of us our lives have stopped and we can barely do the minimum . It’s certainly no life .

    You just have to get used to it until it passes there’s really nothing you can do other than keep trying .

    I am doing acupuncture and HRT ( tried this as was so desperate) . My life consists of being tired! I can’t make plans I crash with the fatigue feel faint and sick . 

    There’s no beating about this subject as this time is HELL. 

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      That, for me, is the hardest part. Not being able to make plans without worry that it will be a bad day and I won't be able to follow through. I try to be kind to myself and keep expectations realistic, but sometimes I really WANT to do something special. There's always that worry... 

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Well just realize that ‘for now ‘ this is how it is ... that’s how I deal with it . It won’t last forever and just picture yourself being well going out . Many women on here and I’m sure many women in the world are going through the same thing. We just focus on everybody that’s ‘doing things’ whilst we sit at home ...... tired. This is an illness so treat it as such and don’t put pressure on yourself .

      It’s my birthday next week and have resigned myself to the fact I may just be staying home as I just get sooooo tired early . 

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Completely understand what you are going through. welcome to the forum, and you will see how much support there is.

    I fell into a rabbit hole of depression just losing myself such a strange and scary thing for me when it started early last summer. Im getting used to it in a weird way at least for me and for you too it will become familiar and not so 

    scary. Depression out of nowhere that is heavy like a cloak. Never did i have depression either, maybe the blues that lasted a day, or pms, but this is the worst.

    we are here for you, im sorry you have to be part of it. I will help however needed just send a message or private message if you want, its all fine.

    x0x0x0x0x0

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Hi, thank you for your kindness and support. Just knowing that what I am going through is ok and I am not a freak, not dying, this is completely natural (as hard as it is to belive that), makes me feel a whoooole lot better!

      So thank you!

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Yes it's awful.  I'm 48 and still get my periods. The self-esteem and confidence has gone down hill, I don't feel like doing anything-- used to enjoy gardening, shopping, dinners but now would rather stay home.  I have a party to go to in a couple weeks that I'm dreading which gives me anxiety.  I go thru spurts of tiredness but it could be depression.  I don't cry but very laid-back.  I'm married with kids and think often of my life when I'm older-- being alone and on my own.  I do work part-time and have thought that maybe a full-time job might be better BUT then I think could I handle it?? I never know what to do with my life.  I do take supplements and try to eat healthy organic foods.  I did go swimming today and have been wanting to go bike-riding BUT no energy really.  I don't know what's going with me so each day I try to be kind to myself hoping that this 'spacy' feeling goes away!

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Hi Kelly, thank you. Yes, I too believe, that being kind to yourself, loving yourself and spoiling yourself is now more essential, then it ever was at any other time in my life.
      Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up