Newly diagnosed

Thankyou' i domt intend on telling anyone unless i have to, its just hard because of my ocd etc im over thinking it and all worse case scenarios lol

High 5 babe don't worry OCD and crippling anxiety

But honestly it does get better you'll stop thinking about it soon

Push it to the back of your head till you have to tell somebody no point stressing till then

How old are you and where are you from?

Its got easier lol just something else to stress about on top of everything elss lol but hey things could be worse i suppose ! 20 london you?

Exactly it's just one of those things I'm telling you!!

If you speak to a doctor about it and say you're depressed about it they literally look at you like you're mad like 'erm why are you sad about this' and my doctor was even like 'ok but like what's the problem I have it too'

And although it's a bit blunt it just shows it really is no big deal

I'm 21 and from Birmingham

How long have you had it?

That's good how you said to say something like just to let you know I have the virus that causes cold sores..... I just found out Monday I have it and been crying so much plus I'm in a lot of pain!

The pain physical will go very quickly seriously it's not nice but when it's gone you really do forget about it, and the emotional pain (the worst) part is absolutely evil but that will go away normally after your symptoms are gone, if you need to talk message me your email and we can talk ask me anything x

few months now so not long 

Ah it sucks but i supposs there isnt much we can really do about it but deal with it now, i think the stigma about it is the worse thing but in theory its not actually that bad x

You're right and to think there is actually must worst 

it literally is just a pain in the ass (literally) 

think if you had HPV that would be a bad one because it's the leading cause for cervical cancer and HIV even though obviously it's not a killer anymore if you don't take your tablets you wil die!!

There is plus on boths though I do not mean to discriminate like

HPV most likely everyone will get this in their life (apart from the girls who got the vaccine) and it shows normally no symptoms and if you do 'warts' they either go away on their own or you simply get them removed, and with HIV you're sweet if you wear a condom you wouldn't even have to inform the other person,

But the annoying thing is in the first year of having hsv the risk of transmitting it even with a condom is like 4% and although it seems small it's still a risk, but again theres good sides like this literally will not cause you health problems apart from an outbreak every now and then and it prevents you from having sex but who cares about that really?

The second outbreak for me was barely noticable I still question whether I've had a second outbreak because it didnt hurt it was one mark and it just looked like a spot and it lasted like 3 days!!

I suffer from reaccuring cystits and boy let me tell you about pain, as women we have many things that stop us having sex, aka cystits, thrush, periods

so what is the problem with this?x

Its such a common thing to get and unless you get diagnosed and hear all the correct facts about it then people including myself before hand are so oblivious to it and think its dirty etc but all it is really is a skin condition which just so happens to be transmitted through sex x

Yeah I'm guilty of that as well I'm also guilty of thinking there was a good and bad herpes (good being oral) little did I know they were the exact same thing haha woops!!

If Stigma wasn't a thing more people come open up about it and change it to one of those things like thrush, like thrush will come back and it can be passed on through partners but it isn't gross because it isnt an STI but i mean it's passed on through sex??????

It literally is ezcema of the downstairs haha

It's actually not even passed through sex, It's not found in the bodily fluids or anything like that, it's a skin thing you could be naked cuddling and catch it, you can touch your down below then someone else and they can get it, someone who has cold sores can touch their mouth then your downstairs and you can get it!!

It's ridiculous 

Are you single at the moment?x

Na my partner has been really understanding and it doesnt bother him at all' hes never had an outbreak so we are unsure if he has it but chances are you does but hes attitude to it is oh well cant get rid of it so get over it lol wbu??x

Yeah I have a boyfriend and he is the exact same, I know he was the one who gave it me but like he said can't change it so whatever!!

I think you shouldn't worry then like you have a boyfriend you literally have no worries what so ever, put it in the back of your mind seriously x

I'm glad I found this site. I haven't told anyone yet: I get anxiety anyway and now it's through the roof. I try to stay calm as I've read being stressed can make this worse! I started the meds Monday afternoon right after I left the dr office. I'm still shocked this has happened!

Yeah this site helped me so much!

Yeah I suffer from anxiety and depression so it definitely makes you take it a lot harder than most people, 

I wouldn't rely on the meds unless you suffer from outbreaks seriously you don't need them try go without, I found i was much better when I didn't take them because when you take them it's a reminder so now I do not bother with them and touch wood I've been good, 

There is no need to be stressed what is done is done now, So many women get this it's so much more common than you think 

Yeah it is a big shock but when you read into it and see how super easy it is to get and how condoms don't protect you it really shouldn't be that shocking, Maybe we should be shocked it didn't happen sooner haha!

Don't judge yourself on this, hating yourself will do absolutely nothing, at the moment you will be depressed and that is why you feel so low but take my advice this does go you will move on from it!

could take you a month could take you a year but let me tell you after about a month every day goes by easier, it's not the first thing I think of in the day anymore and it definitely isn't the last

You do not need to tell anyone at all unless you plan on having a serious relationship with them, you haven't got a stamp on your head it is completely invisible 

It gets easier seriously your not the first ans most defiantly not the last there is most likely people all around you family and friends etc which have it and like the rest of us keep it hush hush untill we have to tell someone' how i see it is there is no need to stress because herpes does not define you as a person you are still exactly the same person as you where before you was diagnosed x

Exactly right faith x

Its just something when your younger thats made out to be this big bad sti that looks disgusting and is disgusting etc but in reality it could just be an itch or a little sore so as soon as any one hears herpes straight away its just this big nasty thing that you never once expected to happen to you but hey ho infected with herpes yet still living breathing and enjoying life 😎 x

Exactly, this literally has not affected my life in the slightest bit what so ever, I definitely still look the same and act the same and have the same friends and boyfriend 

just occasionaly it will hurt to wee hahaha x

This website is a great help x

Thank you for replying. I also suffer from depression and it's not good now. As I'm writing this in my lunch break not feeling hungry and wanting to cry I have so many mixed emotions. I have read hours and hours of things about it and some supplements to take like lysine and stuff which I'm willing to try. I started my first ob last Wednesday and it has gotten so bad it hurts to pee, walk and wipe! I know lots of people say the first ob is the worst. Omg I hope I never feel like this again! I just want to crawl in a hole and hide! I also read the meds help so you don't pass it on as easy or get more ob? I feel like no one will want to ever have sex with me or be intimate with me because they could catch it! That should be the last thing on my mind right now but it has crossed my mind a lot. Even if they wear a condom there is still a chance they can get it! I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemies! Also seems like I can't receive oral anymore either. Thanks for listening

You need to think with your depression especially, this is what happens you get a problem and your depression eats away at it, you WILL get over this, my friend who got diagnosed the exact same time (who I met off this website) was obviously upset but she was taking it so much easier than me and she was going so good and accepting it and I realised that's because she wasn't suffering from depression, honestly I was probably worst than you I was planning my own suicide I felt numb I felt horrible I couldn't picture being happy again, I'm glad I never did it because I'm all good now seriously I laugh and joke like I did before!!!

I remember my worst down day I was at work and on my breaks they were turture I wouldn't eat and I felt so lonely and separate it was a bad time, but from personal experience being at work although you feel horrible is your best bet you are keeping busy, I had a day off and i was in my house alone feeling worst, so some advice if you have any overtime chances take them and if your friends offer you to go out take those chances!!! Keep busy

Yeah I have that lysine I don't take it though, I say stock up but don't take any practise healthy eating (even though I don't hahahahaha) and if you don't get outbreaks then you're sweet, if you don't have to go down the medication route then don't do it, learn your body first!!!

Yes although my first outbreak wasn't as painful as loads of people said my friend from here was absolutely terrible she couldn't walk, it is really bad and if you could speak to your doctor about 'lidocaine' then get stocked up because that will be your god in times like this seriously ASK

It numbs everything

The first outbreak is definitely the ultimate worst, I was scared the second would be not as bad but still bad but god knows, I think I may of had a second outbreak because a spot came up down there that was in the same area as one of the sores but I mean it lasted 2 days and I got no pain or soreness so yeah if that was an outbreak then they really aren't as bad!!! Everyone says they aren't as bad anyway

The first is the worst

Yeah the meds do help

Per year every time you have it your body creates antibodies for it,

So now if you wanted to be with somebody who hasn't got it if you was to use condoms and take suppression therapy daily and never have sex on an outbreak the risk of them catching it is like 1%

But yes suppression therapy is meant to stop reacurring outbreaks but like I said do not take the suppression therapy until you know that you have reacurring outbreaks that are vile, you seriously don't want to go down that route unless you have to!

Give yourself 6 months and then decide if you want to take it or not!!

Seriously if you look at me I do all the things they tell you not to do

I eat crap I drink crap I drink alcohol and coffee as much as I did before I don't exercise I smoke and I'm stressed in my job a lot haha but I'm doing fine like I've said I don't know if I had a second outbreak because it went in 2 days and didn't hurt and it was one spot but I mean sometimes that's what they are like for some people, don't change yourself drastically because of this you need to continue to be yourself!!!

You do think that at first but I have read many stories of women who have had herpes years and they make posts asking about something relating to pregnancy and they always say they are with a man who isn't infected and they seem fine, I've never read a horror story about someone completely rejecting someone over it I'm sure it happens

I've spoke to girls And boys who I've met online and they would tell me how they've been with people who haven't got it and they said they was fine and if they broke up it was on different reasons

In this world a person will only reject you if they don't care about you!

If they really loved you this would NOT stop them

In school I used to get bad skin due to hormones so I was spotty and boys used to reject me because of that, see what I mean?

In life you will get rejected for things that are either herpes related or other things related but you can't let that put you down!!!

It really depends on the type

If you have genital type 1 then they can catch it orally but I mean that's a good thing if they catch it orally off you then they can't get it genitally, if I had type 1 I'd inform my partner that if they wanted to be with me with no risks why don't they try just catching it orally? Like it's a cold sore no one cares about them hahaha

Also for type 1 if they already suffer from cold sores which like 85% do then the chance of them catching it genitally are non existent because they already have it!!

If you have type 2 then oral is not really a problem, although they can catch it orally it would be rare for them to get symptoms because type 2 likes to live down under, that's totally rare though so oral with type 2 isn't a problem!!

I receive oral with no problem haha

Where do you live?

There are dating sites for people with herpes as well.

Life does not end, if you don't want to tell people about it you don't have to there are dating sites for it and most people are on there because they've had it years and they literally just can't be arsed to tell people they have it anymore or they just want some friends who knows everything about them, (that's why I joined)

I don't think the dating sites are a good thing though sometimes because like there's nothing wrong with you at all, you shouldn't feel limited but the option is there if you REALLY didn't want to tell people about it!

I think i said before if you ever need anyone to talk drop your email in private message on here and we can tell any time I am free to answer any questions and help you in this difficult time,

I'm a 21 year old girl from the uk by the way!!!x

Yeah I told my doctor when she was looking at my red labia and said that good news is it doesn't look like herpes and I told her I'm afraid that it might be bc my past partner and she said why are you afraid I have it. It's normal and 80% of the population has it. The worst that can happen if you are positive is you tell future partners and I prescribe you a suppressent.