Posted , 3 users are following.
I've been following numerous posts on this Forum site for months now and found them very informative. It's good to see I'm not the only one suffering - however selfish that sounds.
I've read all the positive reviews of all the antidepressants I've been on I was so hopeful and excited I might finally start feeling better but 6 months down the line it's getting me depressed as nothing seems to be working.
Let me tell you more about my conditions. I have been suffering from depression and social anxiety, plus chronic (middle and terminal as it was put to me) insomnia. I have been suffering from those for over a decade. There is no reason for me to be depressed - I haven't had traumatic childhood, I live a comfortable life, with its ups and downs just like everybody else. This affected my relationships as I've always been miserable, moody, not really interested in meeting people - avoiding them at all cost to be honest. These were the main reasons my relationships ended.
It was only around half a year ago when I decided to go to my GP to talk about insomnia (I wasn't strong enough to admit to him I have depression and anxiety). After being prescribed Zopiclone then Temazepan - neither worked - my GP suggested I may be suffering from depression. I didn't really say anything when he said I should try CBT. I just took the telephone number he gave me and left. I knew I'd never do this - how can I go to a place full of strangers and talk about my problems when my friends can't even talk me into going out and have fun with them!
3 weeks later though I went back to my GP and confessed that I actually do feel I have depression and anxiety and that I do not intend to do any CBT or any talking therapy of any sort. I insisted on being prescribed antidepressants. Very reluctantly, and I understand why, I was prescribed Citalopram 20mg - that's when my journey with ADs started. Without going into too much detail I went from Citalopram to Sertraline to Mirtazapine to Venlalic XL 150mg (which was incrementally increased from first 37.5mg and then to 75mg) and this is the current dosage - I actually started taking the 150mg yesterday. One thing to mention is that I saw a private psychiatrist through Psychiatry-UK (recommended by NHS as one of the options for private psychiatry) and was advised I should be taking Venlafaxine at the maximum tolerated dose within the BNF limits. He also suggested alternatives like MAOI; fluoxetine and paroxetine together with CBT (which I started doing online). How much chemistry do I need to try out before something works!
For half a year now I've been going to my GP practice every two weeks to either increase the dosage or change the type of AD completely. When I started my journey with them I read it may take a while for them to work but half a year and still feeling just as bad as I have been (not to mention suffering from side effects) is not what I expected. I may as well stop and save a lot of money and just continue being a miserable so-and-so.
Sorry for the rant Guys but I feel helpless and hopeless - especially when one of the GPs I've seen told me she found it hard to comprehend I was depressed because every time I saw her I smiled and shared a joke with her!
0 likes, 7 replies