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No excuses, but what is wrong with me!

Posted , 5 users are following.

G58
G58

I am mid fifties..I had my last period, only 3 months ago...(may have another yet) as I have had months without periods before. I have just started with hot flushes, and a total lack of sleep... tired all the time too (new). Mood swings also being noted...(not so new)

Yet, I have found myself doing and saying things I would never have said and done before. I work in job that needs my full attention. I have been unswaving in my quest to be the best I can, never judged anyone, infact, I have always been understanding of how people are, knowing I do not live their lives and respecting them, no matter how they live.I am a big advocate for making sure people are treated with respect etc.

What I have also found, I am not giving my 'full self' to my job, finding at times, I am a bit distant to it all . Don't get me wrong, I have still continued to work with the people with respect etc when I am with them, but, I somehow, feel its 'someone else' doing it! I have also made the odd derogatory remarks about people too, and that really is NOT ME!

Has anyone else found themselves saying or doing things ... so out of character and feeling like this? I hope it is menopause, and that I am not going mad!

1 like, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • Scampi18
    Scampi18 G58

    Posted

    Hi g58

    Yes is the answer to your question, 3 years ago I was shouting obscenities out of my living room window to people parking at the front of my house, and making rude hand gestures, not me at all, crying all the time I had to leave work it got that bad.

    i always was a quiet timid person and then I was possessed by the menopause.

    i take antidepressants now I am a lot calmer now, still have the odd emotional day , I don't take hrt because of cancers in my family and blood clots, the sweating is unbearable and the intolerance to cold makes my teeth chatter, I also have hypothyroidisum which came with the demon, it's not been good for me.

    some women sail through it, hopefully you will.

    keep coming on here it helps, good luck.

    • G58
      G58 Scampi18

      Posted

      OMG, thank you...Scampi18, I really appreciate your responce.

      I am sorry you have had to go through what you have, it seems unbelievable that hormones can change us so much.I hope you will get to the other side of this soon, no one deserves to be who they are not and that your condition is cured one day.

      It looks like I too will have to leave work, I am in a profession where it is crucial to be 100%, I work with the vulnerable, and so I cannot afford to be like this. I love my job, I love the people I support, but these derogatory remarks are not acceptable. I have also for the first time I did not want to work with someone too, and that is just not acceptable either.

      I have been offered HRT and also anti depressants, but I can't take them for complex reasons.

      I just need to know that I may one day be back to normal.

    • Marley1
      Marley1 G58

      Posted

      Hey G58

      As Oprah once said "normal is a cycle on a washing machine"

      Our bodies are going through so much and there is going to be times when we feel out of control. I have definitely lost me somewhere and iit is completely scary. I used to love my job, I'm now always taking days off (never been known) I used to work all the hours and now I don't have motivation or focus!

      I wrote on another post that I'm taking it as my body going through rewiring and I have to go with it and be patient until all the work is done.

      Keep coming on here lovely because it really helps you realise you're not alone.

      Girl Power ✌️ and hugs 💕

    • G58
      G58 Marley1

      Posted

      Thanks Marley1.

      I can't get to grips with this yet. I havn't taken time off work, but to be honest, I think I will have to, cause if I carry on like this, I feel I am going to say or do something so out of character, it could get me into trouble.. the job I am in demands 100%.

      One minute I kind of think, get a grip, but 99.9% of the time, I am just in my own world, literally! but you and others will no doubt understand what I mean..

      Thanks for your support.. I need it!!!!

  • jennifer01077
    jennifer01077 G58

    Posted

    Hi G58,

    I haven't exactly had your experience, but I have a lot of experience with mood disorder, depression. You might be having that, causing maybe irritation (the negative remarks) and the distance. I do take anti-depressants, but the week of my period I still get depressed, and have to watch myself so much. I teach young women, too, and they are so sensitive to mood.

    Or maybe it's just your estrogen and progesterone have dropped, and this is the new you. I have heard that after menopause, women are less apt to be so sympathetic to other people - we become more like men, in fact. Of course, this is complicated and depends on your personality and values. 

    I have found that I am changing my boundaries a lot at this time. Partly it is just survival, I only have so much energy and I have to be careful of my energy, my health. But I like it. I was always too much of a needy giver, if you know what I mean, and now I am less needy, more dispassionate, and better at giving the right amount at the right time, and considering my own emotional resources first.

    I think the derogatory remarks sound more like depression, irritability. If that is the case, you should look at what you eat, your lifestyle, exercise, caffeine, sugar, alcohol, vitamin B, magnesium etc. There are natural anti-depressants, and sometimes a rest is the best anti-depressant. 

    You've probably been magnificent in your giving. You sound really mature and patient. 

    • G58
      G58 jennifer01077

      Posted

      Thanks Jennifer01077

      I always have given, my all to other people.. Yes, I do say 'I' alot, but only in regard to letting others know i understand them.

      But actually, something you said has hit a nerve. You said about being more dispassionate.. I am an animal lover, and if any of our animals have died, no matter how small, I have ensured ' a burial'. Yesterday, I found one of our birds with its neck broken on the neighbours front door step? (they were away, and I was checking on the house when I found it. I wasn't disturbed by it all.. I should be, not only in relation to how I found it, but the fact it was dead. My husband put it in the bin, and i didn't batter an eyelid.. just continued to do what I was going to do.

      I don't want to be dispassionate, I have prided on my ability to look at anyones situation with full and total empathy and above all to care. If I can't do that anymore, then what the heck am I going to become? I want to give, it is me, it is what I exist for... and that is not exaggerating.

      I have to do something to take this away!!

      Thanks for your reply, you are still giving too, despite that you might not think so... seriously, Thanks!!

  • susan21149
    susan21149 G58

    Posted

    Hi G58

    I say things that I don't mean at times Sometimes I feel like I'm not myself either. 

    I take antidepressants myself zoloft and ativan for anxieties i also have a thyroid problem myself and there are times I am yelling at my boyfriend and crying and just not myself. 

    • G58
      G58 susan21149

      Posted

      Susan21149, I know how awful it is, be assured. I don't even want to say what I do, it just comes out of my mouth, regardless. I just cannot believe that hormones could make someone do what they do. If your boyfriend loves you, he will put up with it. But, I suppose being women we can be up and down anyway, however, this hormanal change thing, is just keeping me down

      Its odd, because I have been told to keep up with site, because it helps, and it does. Take care

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