No hope, living through hell since 12. Suicidal thoughts now at 20. Need answers and guidance

I've had so many symptoms through 8 years like it would take all day to write them all down here. To begin from dizziness 24/7 clumsy feeling, lasted for like 2 years, had difficulty talking felt like it was harder to talk and I could mix words, felt like mouth/jaw was heavier, incredible feeling in the tongue, that symptom drove me mad! Felt like my tongue could hit my airway any second, when the sides were affected it felt like a coffee burn or something, too weird to explain.. to dizziness upon moving my head and/or eyes, I could get a sense of like a shock, unstable, it was too crazy to explain correctly. All of those have left, but right now for many months I am having issues with my heart, it feels so racy during the days especially after I wake up, eat and smoke. Pains throughout my body, mostly neck shoulders, ribs feel sore (they always were) every part feels like sore, and it feels difficult to deep breathe sometimes, well to be fair this has always been there for me. Could it be due to my extremely bad posture ? I have sat in bad positions for all those years, like over 10 years, used to sit in front of PC non stop, if anything I am slim rather than overweight, though. Have had all the fears, from every possible cancer to every possible heart/blood vessels diseases, to the rarest autoimmune illnesses. Spent too much time diagnosing my self on google. 

I don't even want to go to the doctors anymore, cause all they do is say it's anxiety. For real?!

Sure, I've had too many ECGS, ECHOdiagrams, Stress tests, 24h monitoring, CT of head, so many blood tests, x-rays of neck/back, and many more tests and the only thing they found was mild scoliosis.

At this moment I feel like crying, like my death is nearing, I am angry over anything, I don't want to enjoy anything, I do not laugh, all I have is fear and anger. 

Now I am wondering when will the heart attack just happen?

Will I fall very very sick before dying?

I am not going to university because I don't feel like I may have a future.

I am on 50mg Sertraline and 0.25 Xanax daily for like 5 months, do not feel a difference though, used paroxetines before, still nothing seems to help. 

PLEASE GUIDE ME, in desperate need of help asap

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