no one on today

i know she would be proud of me but i cant live without her by my side i want to be with her but i cant becaues of our son

I didn't know you had a son.

I know you don't feel like it right now but you really are so blessed to have a child.

How old is your son? What is he like?

I'm so sorry you lost your girlfriend in such a traumatic way.

You really are in the midst of a terrible grief, the darkness is hard to see through.

Try and remember your girlfriend's beauty, her wisdom, her humour, all those little things that made her who she was. Try and use these as tiny glimmers of light to help guide you in this bleakness.

Talking about her might be helpful, writing down all the wonderful things that she did, that you both did together, all the beautiful times you shared.

You need to really focus on all the love you two have, it's really an unbreakable bond, even though she is no longer here you will still feel all you felt when she was.

You can still talk to her, still recognise little moments that you know would have triggered a little inside joke between the two of you, visit places you both enjoyed and try and feel her presence with you.

Once you are touched by a love so deep it never leaves you, and that is so overwhelmingly painful right now, but hopefully, one day, you can look back and smile when you think of her.

Though you'll always miss her, you'll also always know you have given and received pure and unconditional love. That love will always be with you.

I hope one day that will bring you comfort.

Xxx

my son looks like his mum and its hard for me when i look at him all i do is cry becaues i see my girlfriend in him

she was 53 yearsold and black and she had breast cancer the want to her bones she was my everything i want her back

I know, I know, she is with you in your heart.  You know that you can't have her physically, but you have her spiritually, treasure her memory.  Poor thing, she was too young, what a shame.

Stay strong for her.

Patxxx

thank you pat xxx

thank you fee25

i feel like giving up and ending my life to be with christine

Hi Paul well if you are that determined no one can stop you can they?  You would of course leave your son an orphan and ruin his life but that obviously doesn't matter to you.   Isn't your son enough reason to live?   x

will yes he is but i wish i had my girlfriend at my side

Hello Paul, I am sorry you feel like this. Can you ring the Samaritians they are good listners or have you a crisis team. As Hypercat says think about your son. It would ruin his life, he has lost one parent and doesn't want to loose another. We do not know what happens after death, there are no guarantees that you will be with Christine again. You need to live your life and step back into reality. Your son would be devastated if you left him, he must be going through torture himself after losing his mum. There are enough orphans in this world through no fault of their parents because of accidents etc. You would make him an orphan deliberately. He Is dependant on you. I have told you before about my own situation. Your son would never get over this and may never forgive you. Live your life for yourself and him. He deserves to be loved and cared for. Suicide can be a selfish act as the people who do this are not thinking of the lifelong pain they leave behind. You have time to think aout this so please reconsider. I could not save my husband, only he could and he chose not to. My children missed out on a dad and he missed out on two beautiful, successful daughters and now two beautiful grand children. It doesn't take away the pain, we live with that all the time. Thing reminds us could be a song a place, a memory something pops into our minds. My grand children don't have a grandad. thankfully they have two grandmas that think the world of them. Only yeaterday someone asked me how my husband died, it opened the wounds and brought back painful memories that i cannot ever erase, it as scarred my mind.Until the day I and my children die we will suffer because of his actions. Even when I hear someone with the same name it brings back memories. I have awful memories of that fateful day. Create wonderful memories for your son to cherish. Be strong for him and. How about creating a memory box for him of your partner, his mum. Photo's, things she liked and done. Memories of his birth etc. Maybe at the moment that would be difficult but In time. I wonder how he must be feeling right now, have you asked him. You need to talk to him. Make him feel special and loved. Noone can stop you If you really want to die, It's only you that can do this.

Sending hugs.

Elizabeth.  

but i will always feel the same way to take my life

thank you and am sorry for all that i have said on here thank you to everyone

paul xxx

Why are you sorry...you have said nothing wrong.  We are here to listen and to try to help.  There is so little we can do, but I hope it will help to know that we care about you and wish happiness for you.

If you can just hold on, get through this period of grief, things will change.  There are many stages in the grieving process, what you are going through is the worst.  Stay strong a little longer my friend.

Pat xxxx

if i take my life my son will have no dad as well his mum

its just me i really miss my christine so very much

Of course you do Paul and i am sorry if I came across a bit harsh in my reply to you.  But you can't have her coz she has died.   What you can do is bring up her son for her and that is your legacy for her isn't it?   Instead of wishing for the impossible work out how you are going to carry on and be there for your son.  He must be suffering an awful lot too you know!    He needs you.  x

You feel that way now but you might not in the future.   Because you feel like that doesn't mean you have to act on it.   You don't know what the future holds - none of us do so give yourself time and concentrate on going through the grieving process.  x

 

How you doing today Paul?

Thinking of you and your son xxx