No one to talk to..

Posted , 5 users are following.

I have no friends, apprently even though I just want to help and have people like me I am a horrid person to be around. I always say something to upset people and don't even realise what I have done. Is that normal? My inability to relate to people was the original cause of my depression way back when I was a teenager and I was bullied at school for not getting on with anyone. 20 years on and I apprently still do it. Why haven't I learnt by now? I am not unintelligent I understand the theory behind social interaction, I just can't put it in practise. I always wondered can being socially enept to the point you can't form relationships or work with people for long periods of time be a personality defect caused by something more? And if so how can I get help to look into it? Having an reason would be better then living with the fact I am just a nasty person.

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4 Replies

  • Posted

    Aspergers maybe?
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  • Posted

    Hi mugrat 

    I am in the same boat myself at times. I had a terrible time making friends when i was younger i would have one or two friends but then they would leave me and it was very hard for me to make friends and keep them. 

    I hardly have girlfriends and with my anxieties and depression it makes it hard to get out and socialize so i understand exactly what you are going through 

    Its hard to make a relationship work i just got out of a bad relationship with this girl who was staying with me and my boyfriend her child was here with her too and he is 7 

    This girl really had me depressed because she does not understand that i have tried to be a good friend to her but it hurts when she said all i do is make up stories which i don't My boyfriend and i were kind enough to let her stay with us and all she does is kick us in the back she was going to do something with us on Easter but decided to do it with her son and her boyfriend at the time her ex but she went back to him and that really hurts 

    This girl does not know what she wants and who her true friends are and that hurts me to where i get depressed

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  • Posted

    Hi Mugrat,

    The fact that you have this acute self-awareness and realise there is an issue (that you want to fix) shows that you are NOT a nasty person. Social interaction can be very complicated and fraught with the risk of misinterpretation and some people, like me, are a bit more sensitive than others. There are a lot of persoanlity clashes and some people just don't click together - that's a fact and it's no one's fault. Some people have no idea of how they make others feel (even if they offend them) and if they knew, they wouldn't care any way. The main thing is that you do care that that's a positive sign. Friendships are more about quality than quantity. They are also a two-way give & take relationship. I think the main thing that makes them work is caring: the closest friends I have are the ones I care about the most (and who care about me, I hope). If there are people you do care about in your life, nurture those relationships. Ask how they are feeling and keep in touch (without smothering them). You might like to practice making friends here online too ;-)

    Good luck my friend. Don't be too hard on yourself.

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  • Posted

    I am happy to be your friend, be straight and tell you how things are ? If your being nasty I will tell you. The problem is society today, in fact the internet is to blame mainly. I am 40 this year and I can remember when i was at university just before the year 2000. And the internet was just begining to be taken up by a few business and information source for uni work. 20 years ago the were more social groups , more pubs, sports was reasonably priced so peopel did this to meet people.

    Now a days most people talk on the internet. Even as a IT Consultant I hate how technology has taken the true social out of our live. Nothing beats sit down with your friends and have a drink be it tea or alcoholic, or playing a sport and chatting while you wait for your game.

    Private Message me if you want to chat anyway

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