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Not happy.

Posted , 3 users are following.

nick34171
nick34171

Today i went to the shop on the wondeful estate i live on and got harrassment. That's not even ten frigging minutes from where i live. If you can call it 'living'. I'm fed up. And really angry, i've not taken my pills on purpose and been on some stupid crazy high dancing for 3 hours. At the end the buzz lasted for all of five minutes, five minutes of pretend sunshine. Do you think Monet painted as he did because life was just too disgusting and fake with it's perfect society? That the blots of colour were beautiful to him because it hid the ugliness of the world and you could imagine what beauty could be there? I don't mean in material value, i mean in life itself. I came home and put my foot through another drawer. It's strange, i took my meds this morning and now i'm fighting with myself to take them now at night... to be honest i'm having trouble at literally not killing somebody. Even worse i have to have an outdoor appointment with my case worker. She's going to suggest putting me in a cell. I know it. Perhaps i should just surrender and be put in  a cell because i don't fit in here anyway. Has anybody ever done that? What do you need to do, talk with Dr and say i'm not coping? Or am i just being a wimp?

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  • UK-Ven-medicate
    UK-Ven-medicate nick34171

    Posted

    nick firstband for most try to take your pill , as missing them can make things bad. seconly your not a wimp, if anything your string enough to realise you need help. trust me blokes are not great and accepting this thing but when you accept you human and we all need support. if we didnt need support when we were at school we be taught to be our own plumbers, electricians, gas engineers, doctors and surgeon to list butba few jobs
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  • anne240
    anne240 nick34171

    Posted

    I know how you feel.  We need to let off steam.  I am low too, and feeling sorry for myself.  We all understand how you are feeling.  Been there.
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    • nick34171
      nick34171 UK-Ven-medicate

      Posted

      Pushed myself the other day Jimmy, thanks for the advice. Played bodyguard to flatmate as he had to return something to the store. I got some crap on the bus at one point, but throughout the journey nobody gave flatmate any grief, no stupid comments on his size, i was so that psd at being outside it clearly showed on my face. Top it off i didn't have to get into any arguments. Tomorrow i have an inkling will be different, because i have a pounding headache and shopping will be local but as you said keep fighting. Hope you are doing ok. And Anne, thanks for the reply, hope you are doing ok too.
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    • nick34171
      nick34171 UK-Ven-medicate

      Posted

      Sorry abut no reply Jimmy, i kind of phased out. Sleep came eventually, how'd you get on at drs? What'd he say about the pain and blood pressure? Can't he offer you any meds that don't mess your bp about?
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    • UK-Ven-medicate
      UK-Ven-medicate nick34171

      Posted

      He could take me of venlafaxine but as my mood is stable I more reluctant. sadly venlafaxine is quite hard to ween off too. When I was on mitazapine I weaned off it in 3 days, to be fair thou it was an emergency reduction. 

      The doctor has said to just take the propanol , which is not just for anxiety but is actual beta blocker too, so reduce BP.

      Im in the end pice of a divorce so that is not helping that much :0(

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    • nick34171
      nick34171 UK-Ven-medicate

      Posted

      Hi Jimmy, so the pains in the chest, and pulsating twitches in the arm are down to the venlafaxine? Yeah i can understand, if i found something that gave me a stable mood i'd be hesitant to come off it too. Good to know that the propanol has duo effect, maybe with any luck that'll stop the chest pains? Sorry to hear about the divorce, that sucks. That's added stress right there.
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    • UK-Ven-medicate
      UK-Ven-medicate nick34171

      Posted

      Hi nick,

      yeah the increased pain in the chest ( I Already have a Problem in my thoracic spine that cause pain in chest ) is definitely the venaflaxine, as the venflaxine is general the best so far in keeping my mood stable during this naff time I am keen to stick with it

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