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Not sure what to do

Posted , 4 users are following.

dg16
dg16

Hello

Diagnosed with major depression and anxiety for the past three months probably had it for 18 months before decided to do anything. Anyhow trying different medication and nothing seems to be working.  I am so miserable so low that I really dont care about anything anymore.  Psych said she was worried about me then I said oh it will be fine.  But medication still not working that I am tired with life and thinking what is the point of it all - nothing helps fed up with talking and hate myself and all around

Sorry

1 like, 13 replies

13 Replies

  • deryl44443
    deryl44443 dg16

    Posted

    Hello dg16,

    You have given very few details such as your age, relationships, work, present meds - when you say you are fed up with talking do you mean you are in counselling or just talking?  You are describing a trough of despair and I am not surprised your psych was worried, we are notorious for saying we will be fine when we are anything but. It is time for honesty with the psych and be guided by her, it is not a weakness to admit that you are not fine. Keep going

  • Tryingagain
    Tryingagain dg16

    Posted

    Hi,

    Don't be sorry, although when you depressed you just feel like a burden, but in reality you are not. Anyway my advice would be don't just wait for the medication to work as medication alone WILL not get you out of your depressed state. I had to force myself to do things that I once enjoyed and kept at it until one day you start to feel better with the meds. Trust me when I say this as I've gone through this many times and forcing yourself to do something is probably the last thing you want to do but do it and eventually you WILL start to feel better. Let me know how you get on! I understand about trying different meds and nothing works..have you given them time to work? I've tried fluoextine with success and also now on Duloxetine which works but a nightmare if you want to wean off. Mirtazipine just made me gain weight without eating much ..not for me. Best of luck and stay strong ??

  • dg16
    dg16

    Posted

    Thanks for your comments, appreciated.  I'm female, 45 and currently working in London.  Before i was referred to my psychiatrist I had to try counselling (nightmare to be honest as I'm an introvert and too many silences) plus struggle to open up normally let alone in a 1-1 scenario.  I'm in a bad way probably didnt realise it but should I contact my psychiatrist or am i wasting my time and should i just really check out

    Thanks

    • deryl44443
      deryl44443 dg16

      Posted

      Hello again dg16,

      No more talk about checking out! I agree completely withTryingagain(I love the handle it tells you all you need to know!) at only 45 you have so much time to get it right so don't give up. Go back to psych and tell her EVERYTHING. Take care

  • dg16
    dg16

    Posted

    Well I emailed my psychiatrist today giving her some details and has said she needs to see me now tomorrow.  I said thats fine but now getting anxious - is it worth it just to change medication as sure thats all that will happen
    • deryl44443
      deryl44443 dg16

      Posted

      Hello again dg16,

      It is absolutely worth it but it will be a complete waste of time if you don't tell her absolutely EVERYTHING about how you feel including all these doubts about seeing her. You are in fact very fortunate to get an appointment so quickly - gives you less time to get anxious. Don't be too negative about meds, they can literally be life savers given the chance. The key is to accompany them with a review of your lifestyle which could include an exercise regime (best meds of all endorphins), and looking to a future when you may be meds free, now is possibly not the right time to be gung ho about that. One step at a time as they they in AA. Good uck tomorrow I will be thinking about you, please let us know. Remember HONESTY on this occasion is the best policy.

  • wayne1962
    wayne1962 dg16

    Posted

    Hi dg - sorry to read of your situation. What the other posters here have said is right on the money - you must seek proffessional help for this condition. Burying it will only make it rot from the inside out and can lead to all manner of negative thoughts/actions that will detriment your life.

    Keeping a journal can help - you don't need to write an essay each entry, but describing how you feel and what made you feel that way can help identify triggers that lead to a slump.Don't hate yourself. Illness is not a blame game. Best of luck for your future.

  • dg16
    dg16

    Posted

    Well I did go to the Drs today I nearly didn't but I made it.  She did really want me to go to hospital voluntarily which I said no and we agreed to continue the meds which were increased.  I think I was as honest as I could be and signed off work

    so still feel terrible but wait and see, thanks all for your comments

    • deryl44443
      deryl44443 dg16

      Posted

      Hello dg16,

      Thanks for letting us know how it went today, so impressed you made it. Make the most of your time off work and I think Wayne's suggestion of keeping a simple journal is a first rate idea and will focus your mind. Of course you still feel down these are early days with the increased meds, give them a chance. Don't rule out meditation type breathing it can be very relaxing when you get the knack of it. Also, if it gets unbearable don't rule out hospital. In 1982 I went into a Psych Hospital for 8 weeks , granted it was with alcoholism, but it was the most valuable 8 weeks of my life. It involved daily group therapy sessions as well as occupational therapy. It is neither a failure nor a  weakness to accept such help, it takes enormous courage to take positive steps to recovery and I just know you have that courage. Take care

  • dg16
    dg16

    Posted

    I've had a shocking day today, been at my lowest point for months and months.  Done nothing all day but lie down and god I was so close to ending it, so close.....

    • deryl44443
      deryl44443 dg16

      Posted

      Hello dg16,

      Do you think it may be time to tell your psych that you will go in voluntarily to hospital. When you are with others in the same boat you can draw enormous strength. It really may be the best first step to recovery. Take care

  • dg16
    dg16

    Posted

    I do think you're probably right but am so scared of contacting her and also have this thing that I'm bothering people, god knows why.  Then I over think it and get so anxious and desperate.  Tried yesterday but my head was buzzing and didnt do it now I'm like too bloody worthless to finish it. nightmare scenario

    • deryl44443
      deryl44443 dg16

      Posted

      Hello dg16,

      Never EVER think that you are not worth it. Contact her as soon as possible and get the ball rolling. There is only one you look after yourself, you really DO matter Keep chin up over W/E and stay in touch

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