Not sure where to go from here

Posted , 7 users are following.

I'm 24 years old, I've had a tough last few years including a miscarriage and break down in my relationship. I was abused when I was 13 years old by a relative. At the beginning of the year I spoke about it and was referred to a mental health specialist but when it came to it I couldn't go and I lied to my mum and said I went. I met a friend who I became really close with, he took my mind off everything and I finally thought I was becoming 'normal' again. A few weeks ago we had a fall out and things haven't been the same since. I feel lost on my own and I'm struggling to sleep and eat, I'm scared to get help because I turned it down in the past. Every night I wake up and just sit and think about ways to end my life without causing too much hurt to my family. How do I stop feeling like this? And make the voices in my head telling me I'm worthless and a freak go away?

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9 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi

    I'm sorry to hear what you have gone through.

    Would you consider going to see the therapist again they are there to help ... I know it's not easy at all espically the first time.

    I am not able to say what happened but I went through something very traumatic and it totally messed with my life I got extremely depressed and really wasn't in a good place I told my GP what happened and she refereed me as urgent to see a therapist the first 3 times I couldn't speak as it was just to much but that's okay they understand after that I made process I still know it happened but I can now think of different ways to deal with it e.g. when I do think about it.

    Please don't be scared to get help again they will understand totally it may be that some medication will help you ATM to help you feel better.

    Do you have any other friends you can talk to ?

    Would you talk to your mum about how bad you are feeling ?

    You say you think about ending your life ...

    This won't go away you really need to talk to someone and some medication to help as often when someone thinks about how taking there own life sometimes they exactly do it if they feel really bad they don't always mean to but they see it as a escape.

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    • Posted

      Thank you, I managed to get a few hours sleep and still feel no better this morning, I am going to speak to my mum this morning and see if she can help me get the help I need, I decided to write it all down how I was feeling as I struggle to talk about it. I can't help but think that at 24 I'm the only person going through this and that it's not a normal thing. Im scared to see anyone about it because I worry I won't be able to talk about it with out just getting upset, I've never been good at talking about how I feel at the best of times. Hopefully my GP will refer me to someone that can help me.

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  • Posted

    I'm here if you want to talk u can pm me or can chat on here

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  • Posted

    Hi Sally,

    Please get help right away. Mental health care professionals will understand and help you. It's not your fault. You feel alone and scared, but don't give up on yourself. Ask for the help you need. Keep talking on this site too. We all understand and will listen and help when possible. Please let us know how you are doing. You desetve to be happy and have most of your life ahead of you.

    Good luck,

    Phyl

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  • Posted

    Hello sally I do feel for you , and empathise with you as well , if you can go back to docs and try and get some more support as you need don't worry you turned it down the first time at least you notice you need some help and you are aware of it the first step to recovery, I feel is when you no you need help ,you won't get better over night but just take that step if you can , having a friend helped you in the beginning but when you had a little falling out it highlighted all the pain you have been going through which you probably buried ,I have had similar problems and it has taken me a while to get back on track , and ocasionaly I fall of track but always try to get back on . I am always trying it don't matter how slow things take just try not to stop trying , watch what you eat , try to exercise daily also I went on a introduction to counselling course which helped me a lot with my anxieties and also had made me aware of a lot of things , try not to worry about what your mum thinks we try to obey our parents but sometimes we can't try and think of you take small steps and j hope things improve take care luvly you have had a los it's normal to feel sad don't beat yourself up be kind to your self as you are worth it 🎈

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  • Posted

    you have to learn how to handle the feelings and never ever act on them,lifes hard alot of the times but each thing that happens makes us that little bit stronger even tho it dosent seem it yet,KEEP FIGHTING THE FIGHT AND STAY STRONG MY FRIEND
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  • Posted

    Sally

    Talk to your GP again and explain why you did not attend your course of treatment.

    Explain you will now attend as you wish to put your past fears at rest and continue on with your Life Choices.

    Make that important appointment with your GP ASAP.

    Suicide is not a way to solve your problems I know as I tried that pathway years ago.

    If you feel at risk talk to your GP, it would be a good idea to tell him when you attend Your Appointment. Make a list of things you need to talk about, this will stop you forgetting any problems you have. If you feel you need longer than one appointment you can ask for a double length appointment to give yourself time with your GP.

    Also if you are feeling you want to nd your life and unable to see your GP phone NHS Helpline and explain your fears.

    Sometimes Samaritans may be an idea although A and E at your local hospital may be another idea

    Keep a hold

    BOB

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  • Posted

    Hi Sally - sorry to read of your situation. The first thing is to realise you are not alone. The second thing is to arrange that appointment with yor doctor - and keep it. When there, be totally open and honest about your problem. The doctor will have heard similar stories before and is not there to judge you. You should be offered a referral to a psychologist and perhaps a psychiatrist. Medications may be prescribed and it's important thst you take as directed and do not miss doses (forgetting one dose is not cause for panic, but when feeling better don't suddenly ditch the program.) Likewise, you should attend those appointments and be totally open and honest with them. They are there to help you - and they can if you let them.

     There is no such thing as brave and coping when dealing with the unseen enemy - you need a support structure which will help you deal with triggers for your illness, and teach you coping skills when confronted with them. Suicide may seem a sweet relief for the immediate problems, but such an act will cause a life time of suffering for those who are left. They will always wonder what they could have said/done that might have changed the dynamic. Suicide will also remove the opportunity you have to deal with these important issues that have shaped who you are.

    You are not worthless. You are not a freak. You are ill - an illness that has developed as you physically survived abuse, a miscarriage and broken relationships, but which has mentally scarred you. At 24 with your whole life ahead, it's time to reveal those wounds to the light where they can be seen and healed. It won't be a walk in the park, but it will create a stronger, wiser, more confident you. It is a gift you can give yourself. Hang in there and make that appointment - we are always here to talk to.

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    • Posted

      Your reply to Sally was spot on. Everything you said resonated with me and I hope Sally reads it and takes it to heart. I have been doing very well on meds since last summer, but still find this site a wonderful place to communicate with others who understand depression and how destructive it can heck.in daily and it makes me feel connected to others who have shared similar experiences.
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