not wanting to socialize after tkr

Posted , 7 users are following.

hi all dose anyone else feel like this  i had my bi lateral at the end of 2012 and had complications and since ive had revision and a few other ops in between  i used to enjoy life and loved my saturday night out (its a real irish thing )we would go out and meet friends in our local pub or club it was great way to unwind ,but since my first op all that stopped and even though im much better now ive lost the urge to go anywhere. i would rather stay at home , im so boring now and i can see by my husband that ive changed when i go to the shopping centre if i see someone i know il walk the other way if they have not seen me i just dont want to meet people i think maybe its because its the same old same old hows the knees  conversation !!! that neither i nor them want to talk about its like the elephant in the room . has anyone else felt like this and how do i get my mojo back ? maybe its just me and i have forgotten how to enjoy myself ?

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16 Replies

  • Posted

    Yes you have forgotten..I had 34 orthopaedic surgeries in under a 20 year period,..I lost a lot of friends over it, as they just didn't know what to say, so stopped contacting me,..why don't you stRt by inviting someone to the house have a coffee morning.

    one thing I did was to join the local cancer council and palliative care, and I donated my time to help patients through chemo and also in the last stages of life, it made me feel like I was contributing and I also got out of the house, when  you see someone  so much worse off you are thankful for every day you wake up. Then I joined a local art group. Hope thT helps, but you have to make the first move, 

    I still get the odd person asking me how my health is. But it's better than being ignored.hope you can find your way out of this. Perhaps you have a little depression ? I have Always stated that this surgery leaves you with a form of PTSD ..

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  • Posted

    As Mary says, it does sound a little as if you have some depression . . I've read articles which say that people often don't realise they are suffering from depression . . maybe see your doctor and explain how you feel to him?  I have to admit that I have also lost the urge to get out and about. At first, I suppose it was just so painful to try walking around, but also I think with me it's to do with age. . not sure how old you are!  Hzve to admit to always having been a bit boring!!!!  Hope you can sort it out and feel more like your old self!
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    • Posted

      il be 58 in october as you say at first i was in so much pain it was not possible to go out much but now that its less painfull i should be out more i did go back to pitch and putt (short game of golf ) i was delighted to get back but it didnt last long i won the captains prize and was delighted it gave me a boost but it didnt go down well with some women as they felt it was their prize to win so me coming back didnt go down well so ive walked away from the game for awhile  i dont need the agro
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    • Posted

      well done winning a rize with the added difficulty of having had a TKR!  those other people should be ashamed of themselves. . . It is true that this op really does hit us for six, and it's not easy to pick up the threads again once you've been several months more or less tied to the house!
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    • Posted

      I think having any operation does affect you. I had TKR 3 years ago and I could not wait to get back to socialising, but that was because I was not ill as such I just had a bad knee.

      However, I had gallstones and had to have my gallbladder out at the end of April. Now that is a completely different ball game. Still having to be careful what to eat and not feeling like doing much.

      Maybe also it is because I am now 3 years older than i was when I had TKR. I am 64 now. So probably slowing down a bit.

      Take care and keep in touch

      Sarah

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  • Posted

    Linda you should hold your head high and go forward, you deserve to have alive back worth living. My mother in law had both her knees done, and from then on did nothing she sits a

    one in her house and the only person she sees is her daughter and grand son. That's not a life.

    you did the knee to be out of pain and able to do whatever it is you lost through pain and disability.dont allow this to make you back to square one..go and see your GP if you haven't been out in ages you are probably lacking vitamin B D and so on...please get a blood check done and if you have slight depression get it treated before it's bad...you deserve it...

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    • Posted

      thanks mary i supose i didnt think it was depression but maybe it is as im not sleeping very much either and i know this is part of it with these posts its only when people point this out that it makes me think and your right i did get these knees done to have a better life
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  • Posted

    Linda. I am 16 weeks post TKR and feel like I am not patient sometimes and don't really feel like going on outings a lot. I force myself to get out and finally can take my puppy for a walk on the beach which is why I had this done in the first place. But I am less tolerant of BS shall we say, and sometimes just don't want to be around a lot of people while I am in pain. Especially the ones who say....Suzanne, you still can't bend your knee? I just tell them I'm really not faking this lol. Make yourself get out a bit. Once you are out, you'll enjoy smile
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    • Posted

      ha !! ya i get plenty of BS.ive learned alot since this post  as i said to others i didnt think of depression but now maybe it could be as i had it after my bi lateral when it went badly wrong  iwas really down in a bad place for quiet some time having said that im definately not as down as then so il take on board what was said here and take the bull by the horns and make an effort to go out as i dont want to go down the depression road again thank you so so much  x
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  • Posted

    Linda, it just takes that one step and a smile on your face then you will feel better.  I do know about the mojo after this op, 18weeks TKR this week and this second knee has been a drain on me and my mojo.   I have been into dolls house miniatures for 28 years and this is the first time I have not done anything, not made anything, my inspiration took a holiday.  All I have done is exercise, ice, and read.  I am only just starting to get back and interested again, forced myself to visit aspecialist  fair and the number of  visitors who know me stopped and asked how I was doing  felt incredible,  I smiled so much my face was hurting and since that visit I have been making lists for what I want to acheive this next 12 months.   If you feel you need to see your doc about it, do so.  I didn't as I can chat to a friend who had her knee done 2 months before me and as we live fairly near we can meet up.

    Treat yourself to a new outfit,hair and nails.... then go out and let them all see how you are doing....good luck.

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    • Posted

      thanks hazel its amazing that its just that icing excersise and reading is all im at  your hobby sounds great ive a grand child and was thinking of getting a dolls house for her they are always a favorite for children  i tink i might start that list of achievements it might do me good thank you
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