Not well enough to work????
Posted , 5 users are following.
I am feeling okay, actually siad to my partner , (while explainging to my 5 year old , ...not to mix the wet food with the dried fodd, The cat does not like it). partner says: \"Thast no way to speak to a 5 yr old, and the cat eats it when your not about\", then he says.......\"I dont think your well enough to go back to work, nevermind a new job\".
Guys, friends out there, i am so glad i have found you people. This man would quite happily kick me down with stuff (dogs durt) on his shoes. I now have that shamed gutted feeling in my stomach and want to cry, but I am trying to get some breakfast down my throat, and hopefully i want chuck it up. :grrr:
I am going to have to put my headphones back on, I am not strong enough to take this at the moment, especially as my mum has phoned and sounds like she is in a lot of pain. Poor mum, why is it the nice people get sick, the good people seem to get all the bad luck? What is this...I mean...I think melbi is correct in her analysis...we only get depressesed/anxious cause we care....yes we care more than others, and on a comparative level with my childrens father, try 150% more than others. I hate this hurt. :cry: :cry: Ill try my brunch, then I am going to go back to bed. take care people.
0 likes, 38 replies
Guest
Posted
Thanks people, you are all so lovely and kind souls....remember that!!
Day 2 , I only managed 2 hours sleep after feeling really exhausted, but feeling maybe there IS more of a point and too busy to be really naughty to my body (ie) with demon drink :D Wish Id slept though.
Ja, I hope something good happens to you asap. It should, summer is coming, and the good old vitamins from the sunshine help spark us all on, Well, I hope so anyway. Trying to hold it together, trying not to try to hard...that makes it all worse...oh there are just so many fine lines to overcome. Hope to speak tonight if I can get on the computer :lol: :lol: ta Ta.
Breezman
Posted
I hope your computer is not about to crash completely. I would miss your posts and following your progress if you suddenly dropped out of the forum.
Stay strong against the demon Katy. I gave up cigarettes one at a time by simply saying out loud as I took one out of the packet, \"I won't have this now, I'll have it in an hour.\" It worked. Then I took up smoking again three months later when I went out to the club with a mate and woke up with a packet next morning. I have since given it up, (over twenty years ago now), but I'm still only one cigarette away from being a smoker. So it is difficult to give up the alcohol, and in my case with the whiskey it isn't even a conscious decision. I just slid into a bottle a day habit and realised after creating all sorts of problems for myself in my business, that I had to quit, cold turkey. And I did it one glass at a time. But just recently I slipped into that old habit again, and thanks to Melbi's early warning I was able to pull myself back from the edge. I don't drink any more. I tell myself that and in time I believe it and then I'm a non-drinker on auto-pilot.
You can do it too! And your positive attitude is so helpful to those of us still struggling with depression too. Onwards and upwards. And look after you. xx
Ja, I've read your posts and feel your pain. Today was my wedding anniversary and even though I was divorced last year I could not help remembering the good times from a 32 year marriage with 5 kids. For me, I got to a point after being very low, with my ex making more and more demands of me (she's now seeking 100% of my assets and 80% of my income, and only one of the kids is still dependent), and I got to the point where I said, \"What's lost count as lost; get on with it.\"
I was checking out a seniors site (I'm 56) on the internet when I came across a person looking for a pen-friend. I did not know if this person was male or female, but because the country was Germany and my people came from there in the 1840's, I wrote and asked to swap information about our countries. (I'm in Australia). I discovered this person was a she. (I did NOT want another relationship.) Over a short time I realised that we had a lot in common. We share an intellectual inquisitiveness and a sense of humour (which makes her unique in the world!), and last January she flew out to spend a holiday with me and we are now talking about marriage. And it's not only great, it's better than I had before and I did not think that was possible. I tried everything I could to save my marriage, but my ex was determined to continue on her own way.
My point is that you have a life to live, and you can choose to live it the way you want. But you need to think about what you want, to focus on that like a laser, and one day soon it will come to you. You will go through a grieving process, of course. I never criticise my ex to my 10 year old daughter, I use every minute with her to let her know I love her unconditionally. I have not seen or spoken to her for 13 months but the court has listed my application for urgent hearing and soon I will be reunited with my little girl.
If you want to have an ongoing relationship with your kids, please stop and look into your heart and ask yourself what you need to do such that in ten, twenty years time they will know, Dad did the best he could. He loved us.
Good luck Ja. I really do feel your pain.
Guest
Posted
(I sent you a pm). Hope you are doing as good as you sound in your posts.
Partner is getting angry for me coming on this computer and chatting to you people, but I see no harm, only good in it, I get comfort from talking to you people who seem so caring and actually listen and understatand and take a step back from there busy everyday lives, to talk to others who have problems about their existence. I think its a good way forward as no one is PERFECT, but practice helps ( :oops: :lol: Melbi, yes, no one's perfect, so why practice?- I do get this logic, its an example of how I think too, you analyse things so much that you end up back tracking on it and, by the time your finished come up with the solution that there is no point....we all become dust and slowly leave our trails of it from the day we are born, behind..
Okay...sorry got sidetracked...sorry :tea: :cake: okay, ....what was my point again, ive forgottern?????? :P :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Yes, Ja, I think you do what i do.......when you loose something that deep down was really special to you but still caused you some pain and damage....you only look at the good , then focus on it so much that eventually your forbidden fruits are so high up on a pedalstool, that youll never be able to reach them, and you or , what I tend to do is let the fruits rot, still trying to reach them, This in turn makes you even more upset, and then you get upset as you are upset...then even more you want the fruits that you cant reach, (There is no step ladder rope or stick to knock them and place them in your reach..) And on you go, spiralling down and down and down, For me, the easiest way to cope with loosing someone you have loved is to realise, THEIR IMPERFECTIONS as well as theGOOD, DONT forget that no one is perfect, I am not perfect, my partner is not perfect, your exwife, IS NOT PERFECT. We all have faults, sometimes when we loose others we forget their faults and only remeber the good stuff...this helps us to grieve, but to get over the really painful grievances, YOU MUST remeber that that person had weaknesses to , just like any ohters. Then , in turn try to rember them for their goodness, charcter, and what they gave you and others around you. Let that shine through YOU and also in your children and let that bee your motor your drive to getting better, Your wife would not have become your wife had she never felt apart of your life, you say you love her, and maybe still do, just remeber shes not perfect,(or rather, we are all perfect, in different ways and so is she) and that you need to keep this too. But remeber the good in her so as to see it in the reflection of the mirror, your children. Love them for what you had and for what you could achieve. I hope I have not sounded patrionising, I do understand your feelings... I have it to come (without a snail whales tale). Anyway, take care, Hope I ve not offended you. Oh , god, and back to what I was saying before :lol: [b:606bd910b3]Maybe her imperfections were perfect in your eyes, and that makes her perfect....but you have to be this 100% with someone else...oh sod it,,,what???????? I dunno (doh!) Dont kae any sense,,,,,,,melbi....\"if practice makes perfect, and noones perfect, wh practice\"YUP! THANKS MELBI :P [/b:606bd910b3]
ja
Posted
Im actually feeling a tad better tonight, came home, mum was quite understanding which was nice, we had a chat, i need to make a new life for myself, not go back and try and relive and re build what i had, need to build a life in a new area, thats what i think at the moment anyway.....
One thing is that without alcohol i feel a heck of alot better, i know the docs say it but its so easy to have a few pints every night, NO, i am only ging to drink on fridays and saturdays, what do u think ? b honest with me, shoudl i cut it out totally, i really do enjoy a pint though.....
Anyway, im gonna watch the football tonight, take care everyone
Guest
Posted
ja
Guest
Posted
When something bad happens to me, everything falls on top and I drown. When something good happens to me, I start to climb the ladders, though the steps are often thin and slippery!! Do I make any sense to anyone, or am I simply going mad?
My life is far from easy at the moment, but I am so busy and so exhausted trying to adapt to my new routine, that it has been nothing but a good stepping stone for me. I reckon the busier Iam , the more I do, so I have less time to sit and wallow, though believe me, one word of crtism, and my self doubt makes my sprial back into self wallowing, and harrowing pity...please dont criticise me at the moment...i do not want to cave in again. Hope others are feeling abit more spirited too. maybe its the nicer weather...I just dont know, nothing really explains it! Anyway, take care , and everyone on here do not give up on hope. Katy :D
Stiltman
Posted
Just congratulations!!
Use the positives as an armour. If someone questions you, doubts you, remember how much you have achieved in this last week alone and hold on to the high ground you're on now. Keep climbing that ladder even higher.
Anyone reading your posts will feel the troubles that you are confronting, sense your struggle, and be inspired by how you have tackled these.
Best regards.
Breezman
Posted
Katy, I agree with Stiltman. You have achieved an enormous change in your thinking in just a few weeks, and of course you are vulnerable to put downs by those close to you. So you have a little work to do on your self image because those who are close to you can still hurt, but remember to never, ever, let anyone else determine your value in YOUR mind. You are a source of inspiration to those of us here who follow your progress. I hope you are still enjoying your work, because every new day is an opportunity.
Ja, it is a personal decision, a matter of choice, whether you enjoy a pint or not. If you were obese and loved ice cream, and wanted to lose weight, you must make a choice, because you cannot eat a lot of ice cream and lose weight. So either you choose to be slim, or choose to eat ice cream and stay obese. You cannot have both. Your choice, I suppose, is whether having a pint on Friday and Saturday night with your friends will help you recover your self image or whether you will drink more than what you would consider being sociable, and wipe yourself out, resulting in you feeling worse than before. If you are not able to make that choice just yet, see how you go having a few beers and try and analyse how you feel after that. And we are all here to help. Watching the footy with a few mates and a few beers is an Australian habit. It works here. Give it a go, mate, argue about who's the best winger or fullback and you might just find that life can be fun again. What do you think?