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I have suffered with depression and anxiety for the past 12 years and have been on and off anti-depressants (citalopram and sertraline primarily) for the same amount of time.
I feel like I am sinking further and further into depression again, I haven't been able to go to work for a week now through feeling literally terrified and having panic attacks when trying to leave the house (even though the team I work with are wonderful and am blessed to have a very supportive line manager). I visited my doctor and told her about my severely increased anxiety and feeling really low, who then put me straight on a 100mg dose of sertraline.
My fear is that I feel I have tried everything and it's always only ever temporarily better, with medication, counselling, therapy, mindfullness, even Buddhism and while they all have the initial desired effect, I always seem to sink back into this lethargic, no self esteem, depressed state. I am then racked with guilt as there are millions of people in the world who are really suffering with valid reasons whereas I am sat feeling like I don't deserve to be here, crying shaking and having panic attacks in supermarkets when I can't decide what to have for dinner. I hate myself for who I am. Has anyone found anything that seems to have a permanent positive result? My anti depressants creep up and up to the maximum dose which seem to help for a while, but after a while they seem to just stop working.
My focus and concentration is 0 which makes trying to help myself so difficult - I literally can't focus on anything at all - this has taken over 4 hours to write, coming back and forth to it and wondered if anyone had any advice or techniques on how I can improve my concentration?
I would really value and appreciate anyones help or advice. x
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