Nothing seems to work permanently

Posted , 5 users are following.

I have suffered with depression and anxiety for the past 12 years and have been on and off anti-depressants (citalopram and sertraline primarily) for the same amount of time.

I feel like I am sinking further and further into depression again, I haven't been able to go to work for a week now through feeling literally terrified and having panic attacks when trying to leave the house (even though the team I work with are wonderful and am blessed to have a very supportive line manager). I visited my doctor and told her about my severely increased anxiety and feeling really low, who then put me straight on a 100mg dose of sertraline.

My fear is that I feel I have tried everything and it's always only ever temporarily better, with medication, counselling, therapy, mindfullness, even Buddhism and while they all have the initial desired effect, I always seem to sink back into this lethargic, no self esteem, depressed state. I am then racked with guilt as there are millions of people in the world who are really suffering with valid reasons whereas I am sat feeling like I don't deserve to be here, crying shaking and having panic attacks in supermarkets when I can't decide what to have for dinner. I hate myself for who I am. Has anyone found anything that seems to have a permanent positive result? My anti depressants creep up and up to the maximum dose which seem to help for a while, but after a while they seem to just stop working.

My focus and concentration is 0 which makes trying to help myself so difficult - I literally can't focus on anything at all - this has taken over 4 hours to write, coming back and forth to it and wondered if anyone had any advice or techniques on how I can improve my concentration?

I would really value and appreciate anyones help or advice. x

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Daisy

    I know how you feel, meds don't really help me either

    Sometimes friends and family help more than anything though. Try talking to someone you work with and ask them if they would like to come over and chat for a while. I understand that your anxiety can make that hard, but if you think you can build up the courage I think it's worth a try

    Just remember, depression can be a clinical illness, and then meds are the only thing that will really work.

    Don't feel like you're complaining about minor problems when "others have it worse" because there is no such thing. Any illness is horid, no one has any more or less right than you to complain about an illness and seek help

    You should definitely tell your doctor that you feel the meds are only temporary and that the feelings come back, because if this is the case then short periods of meds and therapy won't work.

    I hope you get through this Xx

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  • Posted

    Hi Daisy

    so sorry you're feeling so bad. I know how you feel as I have been on lots of antidepressants over the past 13 years and still the depression comes back. I really don't know the answer I have tried counselling mindfullness etc. I feel ok for 3 months or so then I'm ill again for 3 months. I wish I could help in someway but I'm sure I over worry about things I don't know if that's a trigger. Do you worry alot? It's hard to switch off I know.

    I wish you well and hope things settle down but know how you feel I'm feeling like it at the moment. X

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  • Posted

    Sorry to hear about your problem. My son has concentration problems. I was told by a psychiatrist that concentration problems are a result of anxiety, from which my son suffers also. He takes quetiapine, which is a mood stabiliser, as well as sertraline which is an anti-depressant. He is coping well on these tablets. Maybe you should have a word with your doctor about changing your tablets and ask to be referred to the Community Mental Health Team for specialist help. Best of luck.
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  • Posted

    Hello daisy1987

    I understand how you feel. Sometimes I also feel that way, I've tried everything and still nothing seems to be working. A friend of mine made me realize that life even without depression is not going to be permanently okay. There will be ups and downs and no matter what we do we have to face dreadful situations. I also can empathize with your feeling about the meds. I'm not a great fan of anxiolytics and anti-depressants. They have so many side effects that I can't endure. Maybe it stopped working for you because your tolerance increased. I would suggest that you try not to depend on them so much. Just take the prescribed amount that would suffice.

    Now for the counseling and mindfulness therapies you've just mentioned that you have a great team working on you and they seems to work sometimes, then just continue with it. It's difficult to find a team that works in harmony so if ever you have them just trust them and eventually you'll have what you've been looking for.

    For the concentration I believe that it can be a side effect of the drugs that make you lose focus. Try consulting it with your doctor maybe he has a solution. Remember that for some depress people temporary happiness is more than enough. Please try to enjoy those moments. Have a nice day.


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  • Posted

    Hi daisy I know exactly how you feel. I have been on numerous ant depr. And now on a Mood stabiliser and sertraline and unfortunately I still get ill every 3 months. Ive also had mindfullness but know how desperate you start to feel. I am feeling like that at the moment I have the loudest ringing in my ears along with shaking anxiety and feel really low. Terrible thoughts in my head also. I am still trying to get answers but not getting anywhere. I feel for you with all my heart xx
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