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Hi I'm a teenager and I need your help. I can't tell my parents because I am scared to tell anyone but ever since I was eight I have been expierencing horrible signs of OCD. I feel as if I have to count things or do everything in a specific ritual. I have good numbers and bad numbers and letters and etc. I feel as if I don't perform something a certain amount of times something bad will happen too me. I do this 24 hours a day and it won't stop no matter what. It makes me frustrated and tired but i give in everytime. I've had this go on for so long that I have learned to cope with it, but I don't want to cope with it. Should I still seek help for it? Even if I can cope with it somewhat? Also lately I have felt empty and like I cannot be happy. I feel like I'm stuck, with no meaning. I don't know if I am pushing this depression upon my self but I feel like no matter what I can't be happy. I keep a journal of all off my thoughts and share it with no one. I find it hard too concentrate in school because I have so many thoughts running through my head at once. I often zone out now and when I do zone out I think about all of those thoughts and it makes my heart race greatly. I constantly sweat, I used to be the life of a party but now I push people away, I keep to myself and I just want to be alone all day and try not to talk to anyone. My friends hate me now because they noticed I changed. I often ask my self questions everyday and it frustrates me because I can't answer them. I don't feel like myself. I don't have suicidal thoughts but I don't see a meaning in life anymore and Death doesn't scare me anymore. Sometimes I take pills at night just to make me feel good and sometimes I take 2 times the amount. I've never thought about hurting myself but one night I was doing homework and I took my pencil to my wrist and couldn't stop. I never feel relaxed and in class I always find myself clicking a pen or chewing on things as a nervous habit....so I guess my question is, is this serious? Am I doing this to myself? Should I seek help? Please help me. Thank you.
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