Oh! Happy Day!

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Is this the beginning of the end of getting onto Fluoxetine? Yesterday I was happy! First time in an age but I remembered it well!

First I noticed in a particularly trusting, tender moment with my cat - the one I thought was dying a few weeks ago - I'm happy, glad to be alive to experience this moment.

Later in the day I played a Thea King clarinet concert while I did the ironing then sat in my armchair to listen to the second half - and realised that I felt content and happy, rejoicing the quality of sound and playing - and that the ironing was done! - and the other cat jumped into my lap and settled down, letting me stroke her - extremely soft fur. I felt happy and - dare I say it, Kate? - perhaps even a little joyful!!

A good night's sleep and this morning I'm happy again - despite computer frustrations that would normally drive me crazy. Just coolly and calmly sorted them today. (How many 'l's are there in 'coolly'?)

So is this it? Am I there? In five and a half weeks of taking Flu? Oh! yes, please! Anyway - this is good and I'll accept as many days of it as I get - three forward, two back - but right now all I can tell you is that my life feels good again. Right now, this minute, this second - and that is all I can ask!

The support I've received talking with you guys has been a large part of getting here - thank you for your time and effort in posting. I hope all of us get to this place soon and carry on recovering and find joyful lives again. Good luck on your journey!

2 likes, 10 replies

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10 Replies

  • Posted

    Fabulous news carl! So pleased for you. On two levels, great to hear a fellow sufferer sounding so happy after such an miserable time and also giving us all some hope and a reason to keep going through the crap to get to the other side :-)

    You enjoy the feeling and remember it if any bad days creep up on you again. I had goodish day monday but followed couple crappy days so  hearing about you im looking forward hopefully to a day like yours in the not too distant future (day 25 for me at mo).

    I wish all your days from now can be as positive as today. Take care n be happy :-)

    V

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    • Posted

      Thanks, Vix! Today has had it's moments of feeling happy and the rest of the day has been good, OK, feeling of normality. It really is good to be back amog the living!!

      I've also noticed thhat the future has moved - well - out of my thoughts, I guess. I can look at it and not feel scared or worried - it's in the future and who knows what will happen before then? Good things! Why wouldn't I have my share of good things?

      Here is wishing you and everyone getting back to being yourselves as soon as possible. Being alive again!

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  • Posted

    Oh Carl, that's fabulous news!  You've felt that joy I was talking about!!  Yes, this is the beginning ......... I'm so glad you felt that wonderful feeling again :-)

    This was how it worked for me - I'd get the odd joyous day, then the gloom would return.  The happy days came slow until there were more of them than gloomy ones.  You might wake tomorrow feeling gloomy again, and even the next day ... but remember that word acceptance - accept the gloom and the joy will return if you wait.

     Remember I said when one is depressed, you can look at a flower and just see it's a flower.  When you're better, you can look at the same flower and marvel at it's beauty, the colour, the way it curls ............ It's the same when just described sitting feeling happy, rejoicing the quality of sound and playing ....... if you'd been depressed you'd have just heard music.

    You said it - being alive again!!  That's it - you've done it - and though there might be more days of gloom to come, the joyous ones will be better and better :-D

    Glad to hear your cat is doing well too - you've helped each other xx

    Ooh I feel a little tear forming.

    K xx

     

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    • Posted

      Hi Kate, good morning and thanks for your reply. People ever tell you that you have a big, warm heart? You do!

      Music is a depression sign-post for me - I stop playing it on the way in and start listening again when I'm out or so far out. Lesson is to do something when I notice I've stopped listening to music - opera is the first to go and the last to return. The human voice is my favourite musical instrument, then clarinet, violin and cello - they are best suited to expressing emotion to my ear, the entire range and then some depth.

      Every year I grow some dahlias. They have beauty and colours you  wouldn't believe - and keep going through the grey days of autumn with their beautiful shapes and colours. I favour deep purples in semi-cactus form. I leave roses to those who know what they are doing and have the garden.

      A restless night has left my back feeling a tad tender so I'm not sure how I feel today - but at worst, I feel OK with a sore back. A hot shower and some sttretching with sort me out, with any luck. Usually does.

      It's truly amazing, isn't it! Calm the adrenaline pump, get some seratonin uptake and the world changes back from the helll it seemed to being wondrous again. Ah! I definitely feel glad to be alive today - which is a good start when I'm only half way through my first cup of coffee!

      Hey! look at that! The sky is pale blue and high! I'm going to see Maggie Smith at the movies this afternoon. Life returns!

      My conviction is that Fluoxetine doesn't work by itself - not at 20mg , anyway - you have to work on yourself, too. I believe the magic comes not from the pill/capsule but from  - acceptance!

      Good luck everyone!

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    • Posted

      Haha yes I've been told I've a warm heart - I rescued a fly from the bathroom sink this morning .... had to give him a chance :-)

      That's a great indication when you first stop listening to music.  I find classical music soothing and often listen to it when I'm driving - I'm not keen on modern pop music as it grates on my nerves.

      The flowers sound beautiful - I can visualise those colours you describe - do they smell nice too?  My parents always had roses in their garden - and my dad always planted marigolds ...... I can still visualise them :-)

      Yes, calm the adrenaline and hanging to the serotonin definitely makes such a difference.  So strange how our bodies work.

      Sorry to hear your back is sore today.  Hope it eases.

      Enjoy the film this afternoon, and the blue sky (bright here too) ...... seems like it going to be a good day!

      K xx

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    • Posted

      Yes! another good day! Got home from the movies and for the first time in an age - many, many months - I greeted my home as I came in  - "Hello, Home!" - and it felt great to be here, warm and welcoming.

      Hope you haad a good day, too, Kate - and many more to come!

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    • Posted

      Thats great to hear. Very pleased for you, hope the coming days are all good ones too :-) its amazing how the simplest things can bring us so much joy. Enjoy every bit (im looking forward to getting that feeling back, hopefully soon).

      Take care

      Vix

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    • Posted

      Brilliant to hear that Carl :-)  So glad you've got to this stage!!  Sound good you're enjoying your home ...... joy, oh joy!

      K xx

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  • Posted

    i just love hearing/ reading/seeing  the  joy in this post, thankyou for proving that it will get better, and i hope today/tomorrow and each day after have you smiling. x
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  • Posted

    Why thank you all greatly, ladies, for your kind words!

    Gave up trying to sleep last night and went back to bed at 3am - only to wake at 7.15am - and yet today I still feel on top of the world, considering I've only just started my first cup of coffee, anyway! Sleep apeers to be the remaining Flu problem - or lack of it does.

    Have as good a day as possible yourselves!

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