One year later

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I wrote on here a year ago under the name Painpal. I just want to say thenk you to those people who took the time to write back and talk to me on here. I was desperate, very suicidal and in great pain. I took two overdoses after that. Te first one was so frightening. I just took handfulls of pills and waited. I wanted to sleep without the flashbacks and pain and nightmates. After I had been to the hospital, I was supported by The Mental Health Team. They visited every morning and evening. My neighbour had to loook after my tablets. I went out to lots of chemists and bought loads of pills. I wanted to sleep. I told one of the team i had bought some pills and she asked me to give them to her. I said no and she asked me to go with her to the hospital, so I did. SHe said she would bring me back home. SHe didn't- she had told the psychiatrist and I had to go into hospital because they felt I wasn't safe on my own. Now a few months later I realise how ill I was, how desperate I felt. I just want to say thanks. I'm not over it yet, but I'm getting there. Take heart if you are going through hell at the moment. There ARE people who can help you - just put your trust in someone - there will be someone who cares. Use this site - I did. I wish all of you the very best. Thank you xx

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  • Posted

    Hi Painpal

    I'm glad to hear that you are getting better slowly and that hopefully the suicidal times are behind you now.

    I've been on flu for nearly 11 months and feel, in the last couple of weeks, that i have turned a corner.

    It certainly hasn't been an easy road but as they say, one has to be patient.

    If you can find the right professionals it makes the world of difference to help you through the bad times.

    I see a brilliant guy who is helping me with CBH (Cognitive Behavioural Hypno) - like CBT but better. I've just had my last counselling session at my request as i feel i don't need them now.

    Don't get me wrong - i know i'm not cured yet as i still have to come off the drugs in the future but like you, i feel i'm going in the right direction.

    Best wishes :wink:

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  • Posted

    Meganpooch - good to hear from you. Thanks for replying. It's very tough sometimes though isn't it? I'm just coming off the medication at the moment - very very slowly. Not off the anti-depressants though. Just off the sleeping tabs and anti psychotics. That frightens me a bit because I'm scared that the flashbacks will start again and I can't bear the thought of reliving it again. I hope things continue to improve for you.
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  • Posted

    Hi Painpal

    It certainly has its tough times but hopefully they will get less and less as time goes on.

    I'm still on the sleeping tabs so will have to come off those before even considering dropping the dosage on the flu. Will leave that til after christmas, which is a difficult time for me.

    I trust you had a reasonable weekend?

    Best wishes x

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  • Posted

    Hi Meganpooch

    I only finally came off te sleeping tabs last week, after a very carefully managed reduction. This depression almost lost me my marriage. I left home last Christmas because I couldn't cope any more. Moved into a flat. Didn't tell husband where I was. I was in a dreadful state. I wanted to be out of it. 3 serious suicide attempts. 4 wks in hospital. Still suffering really, but now back at work. Keeping supply of sleeping tablets in case I need them. Not good huh? I need to know that I have a way out if that makes sense. I hope your journey has not been so bad. Sorry Christmas is a bad time for you. Not good for me because of memories/

    Painpal x

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