Out of the Darkness..

Posted , 10 users are following.

Hi Ladies, I am a new member of this forum. I have been following for awhile now and have even wept over many of the discussions that I have read.

My story is basically the same symptom wise as many other women.

In my case I didn’t get the opportunity to ask my Mother or Grandmother about the mysteries of menopause since there are obviously many of them.

I lost my Mother 2 weeks after the birth of my son (13years ago) .. She was killed by a hit and run while crossing the street on the way to celebrate the birth of her new Grandson.

My Grandmother passed a few months later from a heart attack.

So I was postpartum & grieving with an onset of pre-menopause..( I was 33 at the time )

As to not bore you with the wretched details of the downward spiral of my life..I will fast forward..

 I RAN to the doctor for HELP & pretended to hold it all together for about 5 years after that..

Until the reality hit me that the medications were Exact in only one thing; the “Side Effects”!! (At least for the medication I was on anyway) 

I was a MESS!  I was nervous continuously, dizzy, fatigued, hair falling out, weight gain.. It was terrible!

I was at the end of myself.. Screaming in Silence!! 

So.. on August 30, 2009 I took ALL of my medication at once wanting to be set free! So I thought!

3 days later I woke up with Family & Friends surrounding me. I felt ashamed & Mad it didn’t work.. Still selfishly thinking me, me, me!!

I soon began to realize that my “Life” was saved for a reason!!

Since that time I have spoken of the debilitating effects of Depression, Menopause & “I” decided to help myself & so can you!!

Today I’m on NO medications, my hair is long & thick, I have managed my weight, and I LOVE LIFE!!

More Importantly I have my Husband & our Son!

I Thank GOD everyday for saving my life..

My Sisters if you’re sad reach out to someone close to you in person or on a forum such as this one; where there’s nothing but support!

Don’t “Suffer in Silence” like I did.

I know it was a cowardly thing to do & believe me Many people reminded & still remind me!!

But.. I’m Blessed to still be Alive & given a “Second Chance” ..

 I am “Out of the Darkness”

Stay Happy ????😊 

All the best xx Donna

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7 Replies

  • Posted

    Wowwww!!! donna your story impac me. Im so Sorry about you. but God has a purpose in each persons live. For me, my story is similar to yours. I was in very bad depression, anxiety, panic attack, psicotic ephisode and much more. I was to sick and feel so bad, well, my story is to long to write.

    Here in my country (Puerto Rico) the Health Department is a dissaster and there is not help at all, now is worst about our situation. I dont have to much help only my 17 year dauther, (the light of my life). Now we try move to US hope i can do it. There is only one thing help me a lot in my life and my depression, and that is start to know Jesus, go church, praying a lot to all-powerful God, Im learning  more about Bible and be near good and possitive people. Now I take only two medicine in morning (usualy I was taking 8 pills in morning) that is a lot medicine and kill your liver and kidney, if you feel good with out medicine, good for you, im proud of you, keep it in that way. 

    Live your life happy with your husband and son, is the most beutiful in world that you can have and God Bless You. 

    *sorry about my english write, I don’t write very well. 

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  • Posted

    Hey Donna you have done amazing and thankyou for sharing your experiences... your so right we need to speak up and tell loved ones and friends how we are feeling because life is so precious and we must welcome it with open arms ... the peri is a dreadful thing but sharing with people helps a great deal ... I’ve lost both mum and dad recently but it’s made me realise they had me because they wanted me and gave me a happy childhood so I owe it to them to make everyday count even when I’m suffering from peri Donna you are inspirational and I wish you every happiness in your life xx
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  • Posted

    Hello Doona,

    I'm so sorry of your losses .  I wanted to thank you for having the courage and strength to share your story with us, I SO needed to hear the ending of the hope and purpose God had for your life! I want to feel that hope and SOME kinda of purpose in my life at 60 years old now! It's hard to think good or hope for hope when your whole life has been a horror story. BUT I still fighting for my two children  one is 13 with autism and the other is 22 with two permanent  colostomies and a host of health issues , plus my own health issues and this monster menopause onto of it. I have 8 children  but the grown ones well they have NO time for mom  and yes I raised them completely  and taught them about God and hopefully how to live a blessed life , not sure what went wrong. My one son even proclaims to be an Atheist  :-(   For anyone on here that is a praying person please remember me. Thanks

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  • Posted

    Hello Donna,

    What a story ! Very brave to share it.  So glad you now out of it and feeling way better.

    I’m also suffering g the same symptoms you mentioned, I’m not on HRT just trying to get by with various vitamins and better diet.  Can I ask if you have any recommendations for hair falling ? It’s really getting me down and making me feel even more anxious.

    All the best Deb xx

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    • Posted

      Hi Deb,

      Have you had your vitamin levels tested?  I struggled with hair loss for a number of reasons that took quite a while to sort out. Low Vit D and zinc, a gluten intolerance, malabsorption from an undiagnosed intestinal condition as well as going off the birth control pill. 

      I was an absolute anxious wreck about it. Obessively checking the mirror and comparing myself to every woman I met in my age group. I would cry when I combed my hair out in the morning. I showered at the gym so that I didn't see the hair in my own drain....I was desperate when the massive sheds were happening. No medical professional cared either. 

      Things are much better now. My hair isn't quite what it was when I was 20, but it looks almost as good. I went Paleo over the summer and that made things even a little better. I think it's all the vitamins. cheesygrin

      Feel free to PM me. I don't want you to suffer! 

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  • Posted

    Bless you Donna, I totally get what you are saying, I too lost my mum and nan in December 2002 2 weeks apart, my mum was only 53 and died of breast cancer and her mum my nan collapsed shortly after I often wish they were here to ask about these issues but also like you feel that I went through my darkest days back then.

    I'm not sure why but this has made me relax about these types of issues as life could be a lot worse I'm healthy have 2 great kids and grandchildren a good husband, although a little emotional and anxious at times I'm dealing with this with this the best way I can with a good diet and exersice.

    Depression can happen to anyone it also happened to me and it's such a help when someone like you speaks out

    Thank you for sharing and take care xx

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