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I posted once before on this forum about being raped by a stranger a few months ago...I was very much struggling with admitting that it was in fact rape and accepting that.
I have literally just realised that I was also sexually assaulted once before! And by my own sister's boyfriend (now fiance)
Three years ago my sister and her boyfriend came to visit me at my home. We all had a great night and got very drunk. My sister, unfortunately got far too drunk and was sick all over my room before passing out completely on my bedroom floor. I was feeling rather drunk myself so got into my single bed and fell into a deep sleep very quickly. I awoke within a few minutes to my sister's boyfriend violently abusing me with his fingers...I kicked him in the shoulder which, knocked him off and screamed at him to get out. He angrily shouted, "what?!" I told him to get the hell out of my bed and sleep next to his girlfriend. He didn't. He stayed in my bed but at the bottom end of it.
A few days later he messaged me asking if I remembered what happened that night and I replied saying no. I felt so unbelievably guilty! My own sister, my best friend! How could I have betrayed her in such a way?!
After I was raped two years later I read about drunk rape a lot and only then did it actually click that her boyfriend assaulted me. He removed my pyjama bottoms whilst I slept heavily and inserted his fingers where they were very much not wanted in an unconscious girl...his own girlfriends sister at that! I love my sister more than anyone in this world and I would never do anything to hurt her but, I did not tell her about this incident and I have no idea what to do.
There was another incident a few months later where we were all drinking together again and my sister got far too drunk again and passed out. I felt awkward because I didn't want to stay alone with her boyfriend as he had already sent me messages that night saying "you're hot". I went to bed in my room, alone. He came in and put his arm around me and I screamed and screamed! He shouted, "can we not even be friends?!" and I carried on screaming, he then left. I told my sister the next day about the message and that he came into my room and I didn't know what happened or why, she asked him and he shrugged it off....so did she.
Sorry this has turned into quite a long post.
I'm shocked that I only just realised that it was assault, a number of things now make sense to me. Her boyfriend is horrible and I have never liked him, he's been arrested numerous times for violence and theft and gets especially violent when drinking. I'm worried! I don't want to cause drama, I don't want to hurt my sister, I don't want my family to turn around and say I am lying!! I feel so vulnerable and fragile after being attacked a few months ago and this being dragged back up in my mind is physically killing me!
Am I over reacting?!
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