Over This

Posted , 10 users are following.

Honestly, when women go to doctors offices with all of these symptoms they need to draw blood every frigin day or do saliva test every frigin day, however they test these wretched hormones, for a month or longer and see how much they fluctuate and have the woman keep a journal how shes feeling everyday during that time, literally every twinge, ache, crying, nightmares, digestive issues, non stop fight or flight feeling, senses so heightened I can hear or smell if my frigin neighbor farts, every ounce of my body and organs feeling so dry like ive been on the sahara desert, urge to throat punch innocent people because... well just because..... and figure this s**t out.

Just had to vent. Or maybe im not making any sense haha either way just had to vent.

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  • Posted

    "senses so heightened I can hear or smell if my frigin neighbor farts" lol you're funny! At least you lightened my mood for the evening.

    I know what you mean though..........SOOOOOOOOOOOOO FRUSTRATING! Is it over yet? I feel like a kid in the back seat on a loooooong trip -- "Are we there yet, are we there yet?"

    I'm soooo over it too... I'm 8 years perimenopausal and it has ruined a lot of my life during this time. I'm now 102 days without a period hoping I'm heading for the finish line.

    Hang in there! Vent anytime ! 😃

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  • Posted

    Hi Susan,

    We have communicated before, and I totally get you, believe me! This is the most insane, ridiculous, spirit-destroying experience that I have ever had.

    Just last Friday, when I was shopping at Whole Foods, I wanted to take my hand and rip everything off of the shelves and smash it all. Anytime anyone came near me, I had to restrain myself, or I would have punched and throttled all of them. Then, there is the crying, the screaming, the emotional numbness, the digestive nonsense (bloating, gas, pain, diarrhea, constipation), and, yes, the heightened sense of everything, especially smell! I told my boyfriend that I can smell a garbage truck from hundreds of meters away. Of course, he doesn't believe me, but who could believe this?!

    You make perfect sense to me, and you are a total warrior for living this day in and day out!

    Message me anytime - private or otherwise. I am here, and I get it.

    Bev

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  • Posted

    post meno is even worse..i had no peri symptoms that i noticed..my periods just stopped at 42..for two yrs after i suffered with achy bones vertigo no sleep and anxiety crying..no flushs or night sweats..please be prepared for when the ostrogen is completely gone..so many women still have symptoms yrs after..im 52 now and still get little symptoms now and again but nothing to drastic..have met women who still suffer 20 yrs after..post meno is for life e

    eat well..sleep rest relax put yourself first be selfish..you are allowed ♥️

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    • Posted

      I don't think that it is supportive, to someone who is struggling to get through the day, as many women are, myself included, to remind them that things are likely only to get worse. That may have been your experience, but you can't extrapolate it to others. You didn't have symptoms in peri, but post-meno was hard; perhaps Susan is the opposite, as many women are, and she will be fine post-meno. We need to provide feedback to women that is encouraging and will give them the strength to continue, as this is a very sensitive and difficult time in women's lives.

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    • Posted

      I only want to focus on the stage I'm going through right now. If I attempt to entertain what could happen in meno or post after I've suffered such a severe horrible Peri that put me 6ft in the ground. I will not get better and only continue to worry which will further stress me out. I just focus on getting strong and healthy right now so, when actual menopause and post hits I'm not back in this black hole of death again. You have to build your immune system up and continue to focus on that solely. Everyone is different. Stay strong ladies!!!! ❤️

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    • Posted

      obviously did not mean to be unsupportive..as i didnt suffer much.just a couple of years..i meant be prepared.forewarned is forarmed and to take the upmost care of yourselves ..drs reports etc always saying 5 to 10 yrs when for a majority of women it continues well after..looking after yourself is so important and many women put other peoples needs before their own..ive spoke to so many ladies who thought it would be over by this time that time and it wasnt.or it came back with a vengeance. i was just being realistic by saying look after yourselves..keep well.live well ♥️

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    • Posted

      i didnt mean to sound unsupportive..i know its a hard time for you..i just wish we had all learnt about menopause whilst being taught about puberty etc in schools..no one is ever prepared for what happens..i think its the biggest most frightening change of all..and if i knew then what i know now..i would of looked after myself better in the years before..eating well..sleeping well etc..not getting stressed over silly stuff..believe me you will be ok..i spent so much time at a and e with health anxiety it was awful..and the anxiety slowly left..insomnia can make anxiety worse i later found out..really really look after yourself now..vitb 12 helped me a lot..i learnt to say no to a lot off stuff and even stopped cooking😂got everyone to help in the house etc and cut my hrs at work..of course no one starved😂i became self preserving for two years/selfish/..or was it..whatever it was it was the best thing i ever did..i learnt to slow down

      alot of the anxiety is caused by the flight fight mode being activated..which i to learnt to calm down by not rushing around constantly..ive had the vertigo for about a year but i learnt to manage that as well..i used to lay on the floor at work😂and say excuse me..this was 8yrs ago..the best advice is one day at a time i also didnt allow symtoms i had to frighten me anymore..i just used to say its just my hormones ♥️♥️♥️♥️

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    • Posted

      The thing is you can't predict what is in store for any woman, so you can't be realistic in the advice / predictions that you provide to the women who are struggling. Susan is doing her best to get through a horrific and soul-destroying experience, no hyperbole and no joke here. If you had a friend going through cancer treatment, who was struggling physically and mentally, surely you wouldn't tell her that things will likely get much worse. That is my point.

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    • Posted

      Yes, I wasn't prepared for this either. No one talks about it and when I went to my Gyn he said that it couldn't be menopause because I hadn't reached that yet. It blows my mind that this was my Gyn and he acts completely clueless. My primary diagnosed anxiety and depression. I was like I'm not depressed. This is something physical! I suffered longer due to that because I didn't start putting two and two together for several weeks after. Before you know it though you do have health anxiety because you don't know what's wrong and fear the worst. In my case no one other than ladies on line that I know of have had this - this severe as I have. Besides my mom who passed away four years after starting HRT for menopause. She got a lung fungus from it that caused cancer. I knew she went through Meno bad but, I had no clue about Peri. Your right to keep telling yourself it's just hormones. I need to say that to myself each day. You really need to some how change your thinking and break the thought your in when going through this. You do need to be prepared. I do read a lot of pain though from a lot of ladies on line about how it wasn't in this stage but, that stage and it does get me nervous and scared I have more stages of this but, it is realistic to know that - that could happen and continue as you go through them if it's happened to someone else. I just know from past posts I've read from Bev she is really struggling and I just wanted to show her some support. I can understand her frustration. This is just a really sensitive subject when it's ruining your life. Thanks for your caring response ❤️ Some good advice!

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    • Posted

      i couldnt take hrt as it gave me debilitating migraines and put me in hospital..i couldnt stand walk or talk..they were worried about my bones hence given to me when periods stopped at 42...i had to go it alone..your poor mum

      bless her..i watched my uncle die from a brain tumour and my partners sister had throat cancer.

      my mum was a nurse at the hospice at the time..so sad 😢..i get that your friend feels it is ruining her life..the hormone fluctuation can make you feel so ill and i understand how you feel to...one day i got up and thought im not letting meno ruin my life anymore..i got on an aeroplane having a panic attack😂im getting out there and getting my life back..i changed the way i thought about it as well..which really helped...i can laugh now..thats what i do a lot of..like i said with the vertigo..woops im drunk again😂once i realised hormones are what they are..we been doing it for years..puberty pregnancy..i knew i would survive this and you will to ♥️♥️♥️♥️we all will and have xxxx

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    • Posted

      Oh I beg to differ. Menopause, for those who suffer, like myself, can certainly be life-threatening. Clearly, it hasn't been your experience, but it has been mine, and I am a strong and active woman who runs her own business and has lots of love and support. Many women have felt so awful that they have ended their lives during the menopausal transition. At least with cancer, there is societal support and understanding. With hormones, women are still seen as simply crazy. And they are not.

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    • Posted

      i dont think they are looked on as crazy bev..i remember being similiar mood wise during pregnancy and periods..just more understanding is needed ..its another transition like the ones before but for some reason people feel ashamed and embarressed to talk freely about it in the workplace etc..ive met women who completely shun the menopause ..its good everyone can talk on here..my mum said she smashed a phone box up whilst in meno were she was so angry..she looks back and laughs now.she had early one..is 73 looks after the stables horse rides and goes on 3/4 mile walks everyday..she said women had to just get on with it back then

      no one used to speak about it and there was no support..glad it has changed..but still needs more recognition for the women who really suffer ♥️ maybe because i was young i didnt notice anything because im a really active person..the two yrs i did suffer was probably worsened by the fact i had ptsd from losing two children a few years before😢 i remember saying to dr joking about after what ive been thru menopause will be a walk in the park..it was and it wasnt ..all will be well ♥️♥️♥️you take care

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    • Posted

      That was very kind of you to send such a thoughtful response. It is much appreciated on my end.

      If you read any of my posts, you will see what I have been through. It has been so awful, that I don't even have the proper words to express it.

      Luckily, I am a very open person who has a great support network, including a loyal boyfriend and an amazing mother. Without my close family and friends helping me to keep going and encouraging me daily, I don't think that I would be writing this today.

      I have been floored by this experience, but I have also gained immense strength and the ability to persevere through it all.

      This forum, too, has been a lifeline. Just knowing that other women are going through it with me, somehow brings some comfort, and it helps me not to feel so alone.

      Take care:)

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    • Posted

      I'm not friends with Bev. She seems like a nice lady that is suffering badly but, one who continues to always seems to encourage others to push forward and fight regardless. I respect that - that's all. ❤️ all the best to you! I'm glad you got through this.

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    • Posted

      my dr offered me talking therapies whilst going through this transition at first i laughed but it really helped me change my thought patterns..if you have a ny underlying stressors which i did it can make you feel worse..i had cbt for 8 wks and it changed my life didnt take away the symptoms but helped me change my thought patterns and accept it for the natural process it is..uou are a very brave lady who through suffering so badly still finds it in you to help and support others ♥️ i kept a diary to which helped me emotionally and allowed myself to cry a lot..menopause is like a loss of self..the old making way for the new eventually..you come out a different person.i felt i did. ♥️♥️♥️♥️

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    • Posted

      i believe some of these symptoms can very well be life threatening and when you run to ER your told anxiety and sent home. for instance when i get the extreme hot flushed face and burning eats that last hours that raised my blood pressure pretty high and im on meds. that to me is very dangerous scares you thinking stroke or heart attack and then the panic sets in make it all worse. or this raising womens cholesterol or sugar to me that can turn dangerous as well. natural part of life shouldnt be this hard or dangerous so i agree this part of life can very well be dangerous. so many women me included suffer so bad and get no help i pray for us all daily to get through this and have peace.

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    • Posted

      Thanks for your support and insights, Christine. They are appreciated. Through this journey, I have tried it all (drugs, herbals, therapy, acupuncture...), and I have finally come to the conclusion that I just need to ride this out to the end. Thankfully, I have times, sometimes long stretches, of feeling perfectly happy, confident, and balanced; these periods help me to get through the terrible times. I know exactly what is happening to me and why, and I know that there will be an end. I absolutely refuse to give up, and I am going to do whatever it takes to get to the other side. This isn't going to take me down; I know that for sure:)

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    • Posted

      Yes, Pamela, it is terrifying. For me, when it is awful, I try to just focus on the moment and not think about the future, as it feels too overwhelming. I get in touch with my breath and put all my energy into feeling it going in and out. It usually will take me from a state of panic to at least a state where I am able to think.

      I know what you are going through, as I have read many of your posts. I get it; believe me!

      No matter what, you have to keep reminding yourself that you will get through this. Let time go by and time will fix this. I know how painful it is, but try to focus on the day when all of this will be behind you. Then, you will look back and realize how strong you were to be able to survive this.

      Sending understanding and hugs your way xo

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    • Posted

      can so relate to what you have said .. i cant stomach cooking ... my poor daughter does it ... thank you for sharing.

      Felt like i was going mad, thank goodness for this community.

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