Posted , 8 users are following.
I cant explain how I feel or how I get into this state. Over the last month I have tajen 5 impulsive overdoses (note. Not suicide attempts) when I get particularly intense feelings of sadness and despair and cannot cope. After everytime I feel stupid and promise myself that I will not do it again..but then intense feelings start and I do.
I dont know how to stop it.. and the intense feelings usually come in the evenings like tonight..my anxiety gets so strong and I feel such overwhelming sadness so much that I feel sick to my stomach.
0 likes, 20 replies
ZEN. k8861
Posted
Good luck
k8861 ZEN.
Posted
Hi..thanks. im already under the mh team they are looking at long term stuff but not cbt ..been there done that 😕
Hakuna_matata k8861
Posted
Hi k8861
May I ask if not a suicide attempt then what is the purpose? I'm trying to understand the mentality behind an overdose if not to cause harm.
What sort in quantity are we talking about donyou mean like two extra tablets etc what tablets are you useing sleeping pills pain killers?
k8861 Hakuna_matata
Posted
To get momentary relief/self harm. I have taken ssri's, and painkillers in different combinations. Not just one or two over. 20 tramadol one time, tramadol with quetiapine..another time 14 225mg effexor and then a combination of citalopram and fluoxetine.
I know it doesnt make sense. If i could explain better..i would.
Hakuna_matata k8861
Posted
k8861 Hakuna_matata
Posted
Hakuna_matata k8861
Posted
Yes I can imagine it gets a little tedious. Do you do this a lot ? And it's sad you say next time almost signining yourself up for another over dose ya know what I mean?
k8861 Hakuna_matata
Posted
Hakuna_matata k8861
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I took an overdose ya know I did it to end it all tho so it's completely different I don't inderstand self harm how ever, I do inderstand the desperation behind the swallowing of tablets etc and the abundance of emotion you must of been feeling
Don don would be able to understand those feelings you have a lot better than i she's really lovely ya know sometimes I feel you need someone to properly understand your situation in order to help you best you could look her up ya know she's really nice as many are
I'd only be an ear to vent to I'm afraid however Im happy for you to vent to me if you need to
Thinking of you mike
k8861 Hakuna_matata
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Hakuna_matata k8861
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Ok now this I can shed a little light on for you I died once no hell no heaven no tunnel I was gone for a few mins hung myself at the time I was in a very dark place ya know they brought me back!!
Ok so a few years later I took 160 cocodomol again I had enough ya know how it is right I've had a liver transplant 4 weeks ago I'm still recovering ya know Would you like to know what happens when you take tablets in rather experienced in it
So here's the truth you don't fall to sleep and not wake up you actually wake the next day throw up all day then after a few days you get the most horrendous stomach pains as your liver shuts down your liver can't clean the toxins in the blood so you go a yellow colour
Then your kidneys shut down followed by your lungs struggle to breathe it leads to total and multiple organ failure your heart slows and you die weeks later you took them just as your dying you realise that the probs were not worth all the pain you've put yourself through ya know I feel sick now when I think of tablets like really nauseous ya know when you say things like I won't go again because nothing happened the truth is you don't know that yet it takes time for these things to show that's why it's so important for you to seek help
Sorry But there's no fairy tale out there it's cold ya know and your all alone it's sad that really isn't it
k8861 Hakuna_matata
Posted
sandy_so_sad k8861
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Ok I know it may not be the same, but I think I understand . I bite myself scratch myself and pull my hair so I don't feel emotional pain.
Since seeing a psychiatrist I've managed to stop this.
betty47942 k8861
Posted
I'm sorry for what you are going through... I strongly believe that a good therapist would benefit you... you need to get to the root cause, the bottom, of what it causing your emotions to over power you. I almost feel that it is some kind of guilt...but I promise you, you won't scare away a good one on one therapist!! Sometimes a change in therapist is needed. PLEASE believe (that is important) that there IS a LIGHT at the end of this tunnel... just be totally, 100% completely HONEST with your therapist...don't say what you 'think you probably should say'... I KNOW you can get better!! Take care, K.....
sam18386 k8861
Posted
Oh my god I thought I was ill! I don't know what to say, don't demean yourself you're worth a thousand of whatever's saddened you. I used to think the same and still do but was raped twice, I had decent counselling which really helped but have to have more. Look after yourself.x
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