Pain Related Suicidal Depression

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hi all...

Im new here and am trying to reach out to others who may be experiencing suicidal thoughts related to chronic pain caused by a health condition. My doctors have, so far, refused to treat my pain and I feel that I may be nearing the end of my ability to withstand it and it leaves me completely isolated and feeling hopeless about my future. Three years ago I was a vibrant, active 48 year old woman. My entire life has changed from this condition and the pain associated with it.

i suppose it would help to know I’m not alone and to know what others have done to get through similar situations. How do you cope?

thanks,    Martha

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Martha,

    You are definitely not alone.  5 years ago I too was a vibrant, very active and happy 68 year old woman, I was on antidepressants for 20 add years following a bereavement,  then they could no longer obtain my antidepressants and life since then has been an unbelievable downhill ride,  I now have a back and legs problem and also numbness in my feet, like you I find the pain unbearable, I'm having physio for it which is doing nothing, this  is adding to my depression and acute anxiety, Why won't your doctors treat your pain? have they given you a reason?  How do I cope I just struggle through a day at a time I too have been suicidal but I have a Son and he would be devastated,  Good luck to you, God only knows what the future holds.

     

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    • Posted

      Thanks for writing to me Valerie. I am so sorry you’re going through it too. Perhaps there is a way to get back on your old meds? A different doctor maybe?

      physical pain is a beast. It’s no wonder people get depressed from it and anxious because of it. 

      The doctors here in the US are reluctant to prescribe pain meds because there is a nationwide hoopla going on surrounding prescription drugs and opiate addiction and the laws are becoming much more stringent and limiting doctors with what they can actually do. I ended up in the ED a few nights ago and have been prescribed a short round of (blessed relief) pain meds.....enough to get me through to my GI doc in a week and a half.

      im so happy you have your son. We all need a reason. I have my husband and he is a gem. He tells me that I may not feel useful but that there are people in this world who are positively affected by my existence. I have to believe that and when I can’t, I believe that he believes it. 

      Blessings to you on your journey,

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  • Posted

    Martha

    We are here in the UK, I have withstood Chronic Pain Condition now for over thirty years. Generally there are treatments that can deal with most pain concerns upwards Death, the end.

    I take pain medications that are Opiate type. Tramadol 50mg eight tbs daily and I also Take Amtryptalene  75mg evening to control nerve pain. My pain is generally extensive, it effects most parts of My Body.

    I was referred to a Pain Clinic, that consists of various courses that cover the conditions we have. We were also given a course of Relaxation Techniques, in those days the Maxwell and Alexander Techniques were used. Now they use the MINDFULNESS Technique. We were also show how to use V-TENS DUEL CHANNEL Machines to help control our pain conditions. 

    Chronic Pain is a Pain that lasts in most cases for Life and there are ways to treat these conditions.

    Cancer Pain etc the drugs become stronger and stronger as time goes by and what can happen the drugs may sometimes take the person over. In other words they control the pain until the end. Depending on your condition should be able to be controlled in various other ways. Therefore I am at a loss what type of condition you have ?

    In my case I am allowed to vary my medications, by taking minimal dose through to maximum dose, I am trusted to do this because of my Pain Courses.

    Generally if they are unable to treat pain by tbs they will use injections or Pain Pump.

    Can you explain what is wrong with you so I can suggest an approach for your condition. There is always a risk of addiction however if you control your medication doses and learn how to use TENS you should hopefully be ok. It is hard to understand what is going on here.

    I would be asking to see a Pain Clinic, your GP should have also allowed for you to see a Specialist if this condition ?, is so bad, He would then refer you to a Pain Clinic Assessment.

    BOB

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  • Posted

    Hello, Martha..

    I think it is great that you have reached out and are asking others about their experiences and advice on the topic, that can be a hard thing to do and it´s just a great step ^^ so i´d say you are trying to go in the right direction. 

    I don´t have chronic physical pain, but I have been having suicidal thoughts for about 3 years now and in a way, I believe that having those thoughts means we are at the moment in some kind of pain, so it could be a psychological pain. So I might just offer what has helped me in the past and maybe you could try it out and see for yourself. smile 

    It must be awful having chronic pain and not getting the doctors to treat your condition, though as some other person suggested here, i really believe it is necessary to push on the issue. In a way I have a similar Situation to you. I have been once diagnosed with ADD (Attention deficit disorder, you might want to read a bit on that for more Information, but basically it is a condition where one cannot focuse his attention on what is important, but only on what is interesting, so at the end is causes all sorts of Problems in daily life..)  but other psychiatrists diagnosed me with other things such as Depression and thought I had Depression or anxiety-related forgetfullness and short Attention span. I also have other problems, but I am looking into them.. And i know it can be hard and takes time and effort, but perhaps, it is going to be worth it at the end.

    So this is what my main reason would be now probably. That it will be worth it...

    I believe there are things you can search for and enjoy doing in this life. I don´t believe in gender roles or anything rigid, so in my opinion, you can be anything you get to be and want to.. Still, I am aware that many things just aren´t going to be possible. And that´s okay too. What has helped me was first of all, trying to accept all that I am. I forget a lot more than others my age (even more than my grandmas that is) and i struggle with everyday life, because of motivation and attention issues. I am different. But that doesn´t mean i am not as worthy as others. In fact, I believe everyone is as worthy and has something to offer to this world. I have seen wisdom in my pain. I have reached some conclusions that I wouldn´t have because of it..And i´m sure you can too. It helps to know there are others like you. It really does. I would suggest that you search for support groups in your area about chronic pain, it could also be an online support group, and have regular meetings of whatever sort, whatever helps you. I would also really advice you to push on the issue with medication. Pain teaches us to see other´s pain and be more compassionate, if we can learn to be compassionate to ourselves. ^^ And not only...Maybe you could find creative ways to work around your pain, perhaps you can also find some humour in it. It can help to laugh. But not to laugh too early when you´re not ready. Comedy is tragedy plus time...Give yourself the permission to cry or laugh and feel your feelings. And then make something positive out of them. This is how I try to live anyway. I´d suggest you also look for more tips online for how to deal with this, I am sure there are many great recourses. And lastly, you can help others experiencing pain through this pain you are experiencing. 

    I hope I could help, even if just a little bit. If anything I said doesn´t align with your values, you can feel free to discard it. 

    I wish you sincerely all the best ^^ Take care 

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    • Posted

      Hi Hikiaru,

      i had written you a long response yesterday and just as I went to send it, I lost power and WiFi. Bummer. I really wanted to thank you for your thoughtful, helpful, and kind response.

      i am feeling a bit better since I originally posted. My doctor has agreed to give me a short course of pain relief tablets to get me through to my next appointment at my GI guy who is helping me toward a surgery. That’s next week. The whole process here in the US is so slow it is maddening and our government has put a stranglehold on our doctor’s ability to prescribe pain meds. In any case, I’m not suffering as I was but am still feeling lousy most waking hours and quite useless as a result of that. It is depressing but at least I don’t want to die today. And you’re right, keeping a sense of humor is important. I do the best I can on this front. My husband is a gem and he helps with that.

      my brother has ADDso I know the hurdles and misdiagnosis that can come with that. I’m sorry you struggle with it. If you ever want to chat you can PM me. I do understand.

      i really just wanted to thank you for reaching back and for all your good suggestions. You have helped and I thank you for it. Your kindness has warmed my heart which also helps.

      best wishes to you too.....       Martha

       

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  • Posted

    If your doctor refuses to address your problem, then its probably time to change doctors.
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