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I thought I might have got through to him lately and he might have understood. He is very understanding, not perfect but puts up with an awful lot. However, it seems he still doesn't really believe that depression / anxiety is a thing. He believes everyone feels like this from time to time (to a certain degree) and it's just a case of finding your ways of coping and identifying the reasons why you feel this way.
I'm not sure what to believe. I hear my feelings echoed by people's descriptions on here, in particular the feeling of numbness, not feeling real, thoughts whirring round and know that whatever is happening to you is also happening to me. If I go with my partners beliefs though we are all just struggling to cope a bit, he doesn't use the word weak but it is implied. I need to be 'strong' and 'deal with it'. Or at worst he'll suggest 'is it him'. Because there must be a reason and he sees the worst of it as I'm still putting on a brave face for everyone else. How can I provide reassurance when I'm so confused and truly don't know. In some ways it would be easy to say yes and separate from him (easy in the sense of explaining my low feelings, not easy in many other ways) but I don't really feel like this would solve anything with me, though it might stop me hurting him (eventually). I'm so scared that I've fallen out of love with him and that this is what these feelings are all about, feeling guilty and punishing myself. But I don't want to have, I want to love him and be happy and normal. Us not being happy and it all being my fault is tearing me apart. He's having problems with finding work so we are kind of stuck in a rut not able to go on holidays, not able to go out for meals etc (not guilt free anyway), or do any work to our house, and a year and a bit a go I moved away to be with him. I feel resentful for these things and feel so guilty for being so shallow and materialistic. I'm trying to be strong and supportive but it's tough. I want someone to come along and tell me that I do love him any everything will be ok. I just doubt everything about myself at the moment, don't feel like I know myself so how can I love someone else? Can anyone shed any light? X
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evergreen michelle82267
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michelle82267 evergreen
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How do you share all your feelings with someone when it's going to make them upset, or how do you hide how you feel?
evergreen michelle82267
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michelle82267 evergreen
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celtics michelle82267
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michelle82267 celtics
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catherine79146 michelle82267
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I realize this post is over a year old but wanted to add my input for others who may search for this topic. It is hard for someone who never experienced depression to understand it themselves. Often times they think that depression is just a deep sadness, which explains why so many think you can just move past it, get over it, or do something that can make you happy. Often times spouses do think that there has to be a reason you are feeling this way,and when you don't pinpoint what the problem is, they believe they must be the one making you unhappy. I have been researching the topic of explaining to a spouse what depression is because my husband really doesn't seem to understand it. He is trying to be supportive. But he doesn't get that it is an illness. One I have been battling for at least four years now, and one I will live with for the rest of my life. He seems to see it as me just being unhappy. That I can get myself past it if I realize things could be worse. The best ideas I've come across are to do family therapy so a profession can help me help him understand it better. Also, I've been researching bi-polar depression, anxiety and PTSD for my own benefit, and when I come across articles or posts others have written that best explain the symptoms and issues I'm dealing with, I send him the links and ask that he read them. I've also written him letters to give him action plans on how he can help me when I'm in a low as I call it, and thing that he's done or others have done that don't help me. Just my thoughts so far.
Hakuna_matata catherine79146
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Hello Catherine I read your reply and felt although you have done your reacher into many mental health issues you are condemning yourself to a life time of drepression, I touch a little on this in my discussion about I killed myself it's so easy to fall victim to your own chanel of thought and I hope that in truth you realise this condition is a condition you can get over its as strong as you allow it to be the thing about partners and friends etc want to see you happy and when they can see your slipping into depression look at factors that may surround that I and you yourself realise that sometimes it just creeps up on you and you feel deflated but they are trying to fond a reason probably in order to help they ask what's wrong you say everything, or maybe nothing, they then due to having "normal" thought patterns try to thing of recent changes or they own insecurities play a part in the is it me or is you then take on top off everything your dealing assume a portion of guilt because not only are you feeling insecure but you've made someone feel or think that it's them that's making you that way for ppl that suffer depression I think understand it can strike at any time and for any reason hell sometimes it doesn't need to have a reason behind it it's a chemical imbalance of the brain that's all Hun and you most definilty don't have to live with it forever you need a goal plan maybe instead of providing him with things to do to help you in you low you could try to do things to prevent the low a hobbie maybe a coffee out with a few girls a Anne summers party anything that you can do that's not for anyone else but you I think it's time you thought about what makes Catherine happy what does Catherine like to do what makes Catherine smile for me personally it's the gym although it's not for everyone when I start to feel cruddy I get my gym stuff on and hit the gym I instantly feel better I think once your doing something that's selfish and just for you and with help from your dr you'll see those feelings start to subside thinking of you hope you start to feel better soon
hayley_60186 michelle82267
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