partners and fibroids

Posted , 8 users are following.

Can I ask if it's unusual for your husband / partner to be dismissive about fibroids. I had a scan 2 years ago - it grew to 12 cm and had another scan couple of weeks ago - I have been worried about the 'what if it's something else' and very stressed ad it's growing. I have a dr appt on Thurs to discuss the results. I told my partner last night I had an appointment and he said nothing. Not what time, do you want me to come with you or are you ok! I tutted from stress this morning and he askec why - I said did I tell you I had the dr on Thurs, don't uou want yo ask me questions - he just said 'yeah well nothings changed has it'. I feel so alone and he is making it seem I'm being ridiculous. Does anyone else have this - am I ridiculous? 😕

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16 Replies

  • Posted

    Ali, bless you, you are not being ridiculous at all and your partner should be understanding the stress and upset these fibs cause.

    Men are strange creatures. Men like to solve problems and I am guessing he is feeling helpless that he can not change the situation. Men also do not deal with illness well and he is probably thinking how he will cope if you have to surgery. I am giving him the beneft of the doubt as his response of  'yeah well nothings changed has it', is harsh and he should have really been more supportive. I did go to my appointments on my own as thats how i wanted it, but at home, my hubby was understanding as he could see how ill the fibs were making me each month.

    You are not alone, you have us, your cyber friends.

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  • Posted

    Can't help you with that one Ali. Afraid I'm happier dealing with it on my own. In saying that it was obviously impacting on the family especially holidays. Only glad I had two daughters who are supportive and I didn't need to explain too much. Husband is supportive but he doesn't always know how and his mother spent much of her life I'll so I prefer not to worry him. He may just be worrying about you. Some men do think this is women's stuff don't get involved. Do you have a sister or good friend. Mine have been great, even my boss!
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  • Posted

    I totally agree xxx mine doesn't come to any appointments and now im having hysteroscopy I'm worried Bout cancer and he you'll be fine and walk off xxxx very lonely xxxx but we got girl power chick xxx we don't need them xx
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  • Posted

    Typical man, puts head in the sand and pretends all is ok. I am sure it is but you obviously need some emotional support, you are not being ridiculous. Maybe you need to accept that this is his way of dealing with it and chat to friends or family instead.
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  • Posted

    Hi Ali my hubby is a little like this he just dismisses things I think it's men's way of coping I can tell my hubby is worried deep down but tries not to show it ,your not being ridiculous this is happening to you not him I just tell my hubby how I feel now and not wait for him to ask and I just ask him to come with me ,as far as I'm aware fibroids are not serious just painful but can understand your worry good luck Thursday x
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  • Posted

    Men sometimes just don't get it. If he does go he mmight understand how important it is more than he does now.
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  • Posted

    Honestly, he does sound like he's reacting rather coldly. What if the shoe was on the other foot? What happens when he has to get  the dreaded Prostate exam? How would he feel if you just shrugged it off and said, oh just relax and quit being such a baby? I'm sorry you are dealing with this type of insensitivity, maybe soon he'll wake up. ((hugs))

    Elana

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  • Posted

    Hi Hun how did it go did your husband go with you x
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    • Posted

      Hi. No - I went on my own. I think iv resigned myself to the fact he is not great in these situations. So the dr was really concerned about the size and has referred me to a gynecologist. I am having blood tests tomorrow to make sure all ok. I guess now I will have to wait and see what they suggest. I hope it's not too long - I want this out of me. I started taking agnus castus as apparently that can help reduce oestrogen - have you tried anything like that?. Thanks so much for your concern. It's so nice to be able to talk to others about this. X
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    • Posted

      At least it's being sorted now Hun hope you get to see gyno soon ,I'm same just want them out of me now ,I've never heard of that but anything is worth a try ,I know there's something new out that you take to try and shrink fibroids before surgery ,how many do you have is it one or more ,this forum is great really helps as all going through the same thing ,keep us posted Hun x

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    • Posted

      Just one big one I think. Although it is too big to really tell if there are any others. 12cm x11cm really gets me down. Yes I wish I'd found this forum earlier - really helpful! X
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    • Posted

      They do Hun I had 4 tiny ones and had really painful periods had an operation for a double hernia repair last week he said he saw the outline of a fibroid in my uterus around size of a small Apple so I'm not sure if the others have grown I'm try to get a scan as due to see gyno end of July but my doctors are useless can't get appointment ,my hubby says wait till you have seen gyno then get a scan but it the waiting and not knowing and don't think men understand that x
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