People don't understand and get angry with me!

Posted , 7 users are following.

In 7 months I've gone from taking the train all over the country by myself to barely leaving my flat and needing my parents and friends as chaperones!

I've had 5 sessions of CBT which is helping but my Mum is losing her temper with me more and more and I'm almost on the verge of suicide now!

I know my anxiety is having a huge impact on everyone, not just me, but she's making me feel like a complete burden. (Which is ironic because death is my biggest fear!)

I'm so lost right now. I want nothing more than to get back to normal and she makes me feel like I'm not even trying!

Has anyone else got unsympathetic people around them?

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9 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi

    People who haven't been though it don't understand and its hard to say what's happening have you tried any medication?

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  • Posted

    Hi

    I are people dont understand, they think anxiety is just a little bit of a panic but people who have full blown anxiety and major sufferers.  As sais in previous messages you have to do a little at a time and hope that they see you trying.  If you went out by yourself try doing it in little steps, go to the garden gate by yourself or to the corner shop and each time you succeed in this praise yourself, gradually extend your walk.  I wish you all the best and hope to read on here that you have succeeded xx

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  • Posted

    Hi littleannie,

    I'm Jinny 🐭

    I just wanted to share a few things with you ; I hope you are open to suggestions... ???

    It's amazing how quickly things can escalate in one's life without you even noticing, especially when you are not busy or, should I say not focused. The older you get, the more that impacts on your life !

    You have not said what your situation is at present or your condition/illness so I may be barking up the wrong tree.

    However, if you made the decision to go to CBT then you deserve to pat yourself on the back as it was YOUR decision. Some people don't even get that far because it may be too daunting with a stranger. So, well done.

    Somehow Mum's have this need to worry about their children but don't quite know how to handle it always especially if they don't understand. Knowledge is an amazing help in beginning to come to grips with illnesses. Although some would argue 'little knowledge' is dangerous !!

    Try to look for a way to arm your Mum with knowledge so she can begin to understand maybe.

    I am sure, right now, you are feeling pretty wretched; feelings most of us experience to one degree or another at some time in life when the odds are against us.. 💞... all I can say to you is look for the positives . They are there but sometimes we can't spot them in amongst the rubbish that continues to harass us....you can find them just keep trying.

    I don't want to sound patronising in any way but when you are in a thunder storm it's hard to step outside of it to see the beautiful clouds that form. 🐭

    You are not a burden...those are your thoughts passing through your head like clouds through the sky. They will pass and you must not invite them back...think little, think simple and be kind to yourself. I practice it every day and eventually you rewire your brain; change a habit, I guess.

    I think we all fear death so you are normal !!!

    We just have so many other things to engage in, it doesn't enter our thoughts too often...thank goodness.

    You sound like one very normal, thoughtful person who is sensitive, caring and looking for solutions to the challenges in your life. My two children are exactly that too....it's a huge learning curve that you can embrace and eventually seek happiness if you want to.

    If you are already seeking help and support through your Doctor or support group, you have taken the hardest step.

    Try to put yourself in your Mum's shoes. She us worried, she may not be in control and so will feel anxious just as you are!! Arm yourself with skills to help your Mum understand. CBT will assist you with that, I am certain.

    As for me;

    do I have unsympathetic people in my life ?

    No but only because my close and extended family are aware of my condition and have seen others go through the same things/experiences, and watched the success and steep curve I have had to climb.

    Some people in my life still don't understand my condition partly because you have to experience

    it and partly because I don't want to share too much.

    The one important decision I have made is look into myself and my beliefs, my opinions and repetitive thoughts and try to be objective about them.

    I do not criticise myself but instead keep life simple, look for the positives constantly and it has taught me to find peace from within.

    I wish you well Littleannie and hope you can find a way to move forward in your life. If I could reach out and hold your hand or give you a hug ....I would....❤️

    Help Mum to understand. She loves you. x

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    • Posted

      This is the sweetest reply I think I've ever read on this site! And there are lots of lovely people posting lots of lovely things everyday - but this, this trumps them all (in my mind anyway). Just thought I'd say : )

      Hang in there littleannie, and read Jinny's comment a few time if you like it as much as I do : )

      All the best x

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    • Posted

      Hi Anya.rose,

      How wonderful ! 💝

      I love this site because it allows you to help others yet you know you can indulge and seek advice for yourself too when you can't find the answers you are looking for.

      Little Annie sounded as though she needed someone, at that moment in time, to share her thoughts with and I happened to be there !

      It was my pleasure

      Jinny 😍

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    • Posted

      Little Annie,

      It was my pleasure to talk to you...

      Let me help you....you don't need to think of words right now...time will give you that opportunity and you will find the strength in you.... 🐭 when you need to...to whom ever you need to in your life.

      At the moment, prioritise what affects you the most.

      I make a list on paper: all the things that I struggle with. I then put them in order using 1-10, according to how much they impact on my life and, those things I cannot change because they are out of my hands I put a red dot next to.. ( I don't ignore them, I just put them on hold because they are the hard ones to crack !!)

      Start by choosing 3 that you can draw up a plan to work on.

      Remember there will be some things that are what we call routine so you need to make a start on those early on.

      For example, My sleep patterns started to go topsey turvey 👿 so I had to find out why and quickly because without good sleep, my days were awful. I soon realised it was due to stopping work and no routines; no longer did I have a bell to remind me to go to lunch so I didn't bother and you can work out for yourself the knock on effect of that.

      Today, through hard work and dedication, I am getting back my life, slowly but surely. 😊

      Some days, I find myself smiling.

      If I can make strides, you sure can; I know it 🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈

      So Little Annie, get your thinking cap on but .....and this is a big but...little and simple...no stress...

      Good luck

      If I can help you, keep in touch.

      Jinny x

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  • Posted

    Sometimes family and friends don't get it.  But I do wish your mother could be more patient with you.  Is she the sort of person who has always demanded that her children sort themselves out and don't impose extra burdens on her?  Unfortunately some mothers are like that.

    I hope you have told your CBT counsellor what is going on.  Unfortunately my experience of CBT is that it can help with negative thinking but is not much help with personal relationships. It might be an idea to get yourself referred to some other kind of counselling or therapy, if that's available locally.  Something that could help you find the strength to stand up to your mother and convince her that you are ill and not messing about.

    Above all, don't let your mother's bad temper lead you in the direction of suicide!!  She is the one who is not getting it -- you are not to blame.

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  • Posted

    Hi hun, I remember when I was in my twenties and my dad getting angry with me because of how my anxiety was making me he thought I should just pull myself together. Later on in life he suffered anxiety himself and was so sorry for how he treated me. You are not a weak person your just not well at the moment. There is an excellent book called self help for your nerves by Dr Clair weeks she explains in detail what you are going through right now and how to deal with it, it's only a small book but easy to read because you can relate to what she is saying,it's available from Amazon or you could order it from your bookshop I should imagine your local library has it as well. I can imagine what your going through but don't give up your priority is to you and to get well I'm sure you will find support on here. It is difficult for people to understand if they haven't been through it themselves. But it can happen to absolutely anyone at anytime. Hope you feel better soon hun xx
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