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I would just like to thank the people who have taken the time to share thier experiences.

It has shown me that im not alone and its going to take time.

I had been together with my partner for 9 years, we were makng plans for our wedding in a years time. We had what you would call the perfect relationship, never fought. He came home one day and said he could do this no more and left. I was devistated. Didnt know what i had done to make him feel like this. I know now its nothing i have done, its all him. I cant move on and so been taking another antidepressant for a 6 weeks with no real help - only all the side affects. I hope taking fluoxetine will make me think clear and let me get on with my life. Im left with cancelling the wedding and the thought of when our wedding day comes around, fills me with so much pain. Does it get any easier?????????????? do we ever get our lives back????????????????????

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8 Replies

  • Posted

    Hey chick,

    With regards the depression... I can`t comment...as Ive never had clinical depression. BUT, in regards to the other.....YES! U will get ur life back. Uve had a mind blowing shock....and it can turn ur world upside down. U don`t think it just now....but it does get better.

    Just take each day as it comes. You`re going to have good and bad days. BUT, one day, u`ll wake up....and he won`t b the first thing u think about. As u said, he`s the one making the decision to walk away (same as mine`s did), and there`s nothing u can do to make someone stay if they don`t want to. HIS LOSS!!!

    SO, u get up in the morning. Put ur face on. And face the world...even if u don`t want to.

    I promise u , u will come out the other end of the tunnel

    Take Care...x

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  • Posted

    Hi Skye,

    Thanks for your words of wisdom,

    Hope to see you through the other end of the tunnel soon.

    Its been 2 months now and i know its going to be a long and dark tunnel and your right, I have to get up every morning even if i dont want to - which is almost every day!

    Cant let him get the better of me :roll:

    xx

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  • Posted

    Just be strong chick...I know its hard....but u can do it.. smile

    I used to break my heart when he would come and pick up our son each fortnite. Id be roaring and crying, thinking this isn`t right...we`re a family, we should all be together. Id sit in the living room staring at the TV til my son came back.

    After a while, I was driving at 100mph home, to make sure I was back for him dropping my son off.. :lol:

    That man turned my world, and my son`s upside down. I didn`t know if it was New Year or New York! Whether I wanted tea or coffee to drink! I thought the world of him and was so happy with my life. The fact that he didnt want any of it came like a bolt of lightening! Never saw it coming!

    But u know what girl, after hindsight, which is indeed a wonderful thing....he done me the biggest favour. (I just didnt realise it at the time, just as u don`t now). He`s a sad individual who is still going through his life, using people (females) and has sh*t all!!!

    Leave him to it!!

    U get out there and live ur life.... smile

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  • Posted

    How can men find it so easy to move on?

    We were together for 9 years and within 2 weeks, he is sleeping with someone else!!!!!!!! :x :x :x :x

    Did I mean that little to him?

    I want to move on and eventually find someone i can trust and spend my life with but at the moment im so bloody angry.

    It seems that he lands in sh*t and comes up smelling of roses when i just stay there and have all these new problems to deal with.

    I think im over the stage where im shamed to face people and tell them what has happened, but part of me is still ashamed when i say that the wedding is off, he has left me because he didnt know if he loved me enough to send his life with!!

    No one is certain of this, its the chance you take and is called life! or am I wrong????

    Awh I dont know, I just have so many feelings and questions that have no real answers. sad

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  • Posted

    I don`t have the answers chick. I didn`t even get a reason. Just that he didn`t want me, the new house we were meant to b moving into...or the child I was pregnant with!

    Who knows what goes on in some peoples heads :roll:

    My ex was with someone else also, and leading me up the garden path and I didn`t even know it.

    You`ve nothing to be ashamed or embarassed about.....he`s the one that should feel all of that. At the very least, he should have been man enough to say how he really felt b4 wedding plans etc were made.....or b4 now!! Was the same for me. Planning another baby, bought a new house....and all the while he knew he didn`t want any of it...but didnt have the guts to mention it to me.

    Unfortunately, it is one of the sh*ttier parts of life that many people experience.

    Use the anger u feel in a productive way. Not towards him...don`t give him the satifaction. Use it for when u feel down and missing him (as u do)...it will chase that away. Use it when u feel \"what the hell is the point\".....it will make u find the point. Get where Im coming from chick?

    As for meeting someone else....u will do. BUT, my advice to u is this. Spend some time on ur on...find yourself again. Enjoy time with ur mates. On ur own. Do what u want to without thinking about anyone else. Be selfish for a little while. Then, when its the right time, andur not even thinking about it....that someone else will be there... smile

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  • Posted

    You have many words of wisdom which really help.

    Its nice to be able to talk to someone who has gone through all this and have the same feelings.

    Thanks for your help, its working.

    You seem to have come through this a strong person, hope i will get there too xx :roll:

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  • Posted

    You will get there chick....I promise u ... smile

    I look back now at all the cr*p I went through...how I reacted to it etc, how my pal used to say...nothing else can go wrong...and something else always did.... :lol: Sods law ain`t it. But, u know, I can laugh about some of it now. And u`ll be able to do that same. You don`t think so at this moment in time , but u will.

    My one word of advice to u is this: (well a few words smile )

    As time goes on...u will experience a million and one emotions. Anger, sadness, sorrow, self pity.....the list goes on. Take these and deal with them in your own mind. Then through them in the bin! Don`t store them as it will make ur heart/soul and mind bitter. This will blind u to anyone else who comes along in the future.

    After 10 years of being on my own with my son (he`s 14 now), after endless dates with halfwits (took me 4 years to go on a date), I am very happily engaged to the most wonderful man in the universe.. :D

    The world is not flat....and neither is life. It has ups, downs, bends, .....thats what makes it an interesting (and sometimes pain in the ass ) place to be.

    You`ll be just fine... smile

    Big hug for u

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  • Posted

    Not all men are like your former partner.

    I started a relationship with a really nice girl i used to go to school with, we were very off and on but I grew so fond of her. In my eyes i loved her, unfortunately not everyone can believe what you say.

    There are people out there who want to be loved and will do the same in return.

    Don't think about what they are doing as a means of hurting you, they're only helping themselves through the pain in the way they think is right. You might no agree but everyone is different.

    Don't think that because you feel depressed that you are weaker or less able to cope, everyone has their own way.

    All I can say is chin up and keep going, there are other people out there.

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