Perimenopause doing me in...😢

Posted , 13 users are following.

OMG! I'm at the end of my tether....am fed up, miserable, frustrated lonely etc etc.....hubby is sick of my constant repetitive wailing mad moods, me feeling sick & off & the lack of marital fun n intimacy(I do have a personal problem in there) this is killing my marriage which is barely alive...do I give up n walk away? go back to whence I came from? I have no family or close friend where I am. I have no answers anymore, I feel like I'm in a whirlpool getting nowhere. Oh to feel a hug & know I'm going to be ok, will all this torment ever end. Feels like I'm sinking n giving up, sorry for my woeful blah.

1 like, 16 replies

16 Replies

  • Posted

    Aww you are having an awful time so sorry 😔 I'm sending you a huge (((hug))) 😃 you hang in there lovely xxx
  • Posted

    Hi love, don't walk away tell your hubby what's happening if you haven't already. Print something off the internet or give him some info about what you are experiencing. You need his support at this time and that's what he signed up for when you married. It is hard for other people around you to understand what's going on with you, especially when it's hard for you yourself to make sense of it all. It's like a living nightmare. Lots of love and hugs Hun x 
    • Posted

      Hi Liz, thanks for your caring. Told hubby, he's read about peri etc he's sick of everything, guess I have decisions to make about what's next in my life. Take Care 
  • Posted

    Oh you poor soul..I really am sorry you're having such a hard time.  Perimenopause can be a very tough time in our lives and you think it will never pass.  I'm also going through a tough time (for almost 2 years) and it got to the stage where I kept going back to my GP to find meds that would help a bit.  I'm now on Paroxetine 60mg and Diazepam 2mg.  I take Paroxetine everyday and Diazepam when I'm feeling very anxious and it does help take the 'edge' off how I'm feeling.  I've explained to my partner how peri can affect women and that it will pass.  He knows I'm not in the mood for intimacy at the moment although we do hug and hold hands.  I'm lucky as he isn't pushing for anything more.  I would advise you to visit your GP asap and tell her/him everything.  Meds can help as can counselling/CBT/mindfullness.  You will get support on this forum too and know that you are far from alone in feeling as you do - it's normal (but awful!).

    You would be leaving your husband for the wrong reasons - there is help for peri and hope for your marriage too.

    Wishing you good luck on this 'journey' and sending you a hug. xx

    • Posted

      Hi Michele, Thankyou. This whole thing is just too much, hubby's totally had enough of me talking about peri & the way I am, too many arguments. Cuddles n hugs are not enough he wants more, I'm not 'responsive' enough. Life is just s***! I feel so horrible.

      BUT its nice to feel the love & care from all the lovely ladies here. 

  • Posted

    God I feel for you Hun, when I read your post : it's me!!!!!!, I'm going through the exact same thing. I know exactly how awful it is. It's a mirror image of me. I to have no one I can talk to either. & this site is a blessing to me. The ladies are brilliant honest &lovely, I don't know what I would do without their support. I have been to see two different doctors at my surgery about my peri and they are both adamant I'm not peri?. I cried reading your post, my partner is younger than me & doesn't understand. I know it's a very stressful ,& very lonely for me to. Hope we can pull through together!. I'm here and the other ladies to,if you need to chat/moan /a shoulder to cry on (I know the shoulder ain't a real one: mine is the I-pad!!!!). Take care. (were in this together!). Chin up.xx
  • Posted

    Hi Bobbin

    Listen Kiddo, unless you've got a completely sh*t marriage, it's gotta be worth getting some help for yourself. I've been married to the love of my life for 32yrs/known each other since 17 etc.

    Fortunately we both love a laugh, see humour in most things, don't take ourselves too seriously, and take the p*ss out of each other on a regular basis.

    I have absolutely no interest in sex, have an obsession about smelling while I have a Period, and feel completely ready to 'think' of sex, rather than 'do' it!!!

    My ol' man is 75% behind me - 25% I know I do his head in!! We argue/bicker/call each other some really choice names.....and its all forgotten very quickly. We think this is very normal....for us.

    I think it's fair to say I'm not the first person to sing the praises of ADs etc - its personal, but I don't think they're for me right now - but maybe now's the time to go talk with your GP and see what they can help you with.

    Having said that maybe some HRT might be for you? I use progesterone cream and some Menopace and feel pretty darn good. But the minute I feel really cr*p i'll be getting me some 'proper' HRT. Life's too short to feel so bad

    Don't let this monster 'win' - go see someone and tell them how you feel, how its affecting our marriage.

    Chin up Kiddo:-)

    Sx

  • Posted

    Hi Bobbins 

    We all know where your coming from,we are.....friends at your fingertips...who understand it's a tough one.......After  two years off trying everything for this constant hot flushes. I finally went to my doc to discuss HRT. " il give you a laugh"  My doc said I'm supposed to ask this question, Do you reall feel you need this??? But looking at you as I sat drenched with sweat ,hair dripping you def do......lol so now I'm on it. Sweats gone completely, depression a lot better. One thing I'm on as well.... VIT D.... everyday and It really helps with low mood I can notice a change in my mood if I even forget it for one day......Hope this helps sweetheart, and your never alone, you've got us. Hopefully your hubby will understand soon, and be supportive of you xx

    • Posted

      Hi Mary, I read your post this morning(Thursday 28th may). &i noticed you said you are now taking vitaminD. I received a phone call off my doctors yesterday in regards off 2blood test's I had done? One I had 2wait ten days and come back low vitamin? Receptionist has got me back in Tuesday next week ( I have to wait till then as the lady doctor is booked up Monday asnd she has classed me as non emergency) this is the only information the receptionist would tell me. LOW VITAMIN D? I did orgiinially go because I think I may b peri but that was rubbished off by her that I'm to young and ladies DO NOT start till their 50's(her words?!).  This was the second time I was fobbed off!. Anyway just wondering if u could help me out here for the vitamin d may I ask how much you take? What advice could you give me till tuesday? Hope you don't think I'm been a little nosey?!. Kind regards hugs to u all xxxxx
    • Posted

      Hi michelle 

      sorry I've been a bit late with replying hectic life , but anyway pet your not being nosey at all. I take "Seven Seas multi VIT 50 plus I think the recommended does age is about 125iu daily but before this, as I've just turned 50 ! I took just any old vitamin d I could get my hands on, there is some cheaper ones that's just as good  I live in N.ireland !!!!! so it's needed, as it's called the sunshine vitamin it's amazing how good a vitamin this is I have the whole family on it,lol so just go into any pharmacy and they should be able suggest what's the best one for you. Hope this helps pet and works very quickly xx

  • Posted

    So sorry to hear you are having such an awful time, sending a big hug 💐  The menopause is soul destroying, I took menopace night through my peri-menopause but, have now after 7 years have decided to go onto HRT, I started a week ago. I hope you can find something that works for you and that your husband reads some of these sites and becomes more understanding and supportive. I am in a similar situation living abroad from my family and don't have enough language skills for a full indepth chat about what I am going through but, my husband is supportive.  For me, it was knowing what way to go on the meds, don't suffer in silence xxx 
  • Posted

    I feel for you I really do. Been in perimenopause 8 years now 48. Ive got every symptom there is to have!!!! Ive been married 27 years and yes peri is taking its toll big time. Maybe suggest some marriageccounselling. As for me I pray a lotsmile its really horrid going through this having to cope with physical and mental symptoms and try and keep a marriage alive.

    Hope you find some comfort on this site as I have

    I now know im not going crazy. Im om 15mg of antidepressant mirtazapine it helps a little

    Hope you have a better day today.

    Praying for you xx

  • Posted

    This is the same as me Bobbins

    My boyfriend is trying to find ways or helping me but with my anger, anxieties, I just push him away at least he understands me at times all I did this weekend was cry and yell and scream 

    Tired of it all wish it would go away

    • Posted

      Hi Susan, thinking of you & do hope you're doing ok. Sending you a hug, all the ladies here are so lovely, nice to be able to share n care knowing you're understood....we've all been possessed by this menopause madness😖 lol. Keep well.
  • Posted

    Hello, I'm just sending you a hug, big kiss, lots of flowers, pretty pink ones.

    It sucks, take some slow deep breaths, think happy thoughts and dream of walking on the beach. Find a hormone specialist and track your symptoms.food can trigger responses, anxiety makes you feel worse and not talking to some one just bottles up your emotions. Find a therapist to yell at then give your man a hug.....they try to understand but will never. They want contact so maybe a head job.lol...and some sensual massages. Tell him you love him and tell him you are trying to do everything you can so that the 2 of you can get it on...he will understand. He is frustrated that he can't help you.... I hope this helps.xx

    • Posted

      Hi Angela, Thankyou 💐 I'm taking each day as it comes & when I need a laugh I look in the mirror! LoL that's something that the menopause beast hasn't robbed me of...my warped sense of fun & humour. Where I live beaches are only minutes away, easy walking to de-stress with a gulp of sea air(doesn't always work but is nice to get out of the house for a while) it's also safe n easy to go for walks around my home. Have spoken to my Dr about hormone levels but didn't think it would be of any real use as the levels would be up n down, just said that everything will settle down, I'm waiting..........👿 LoL Take Care, keep well 

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