1. Community
  2. Women's health
  3. Menopause

Perimenopause stinks!!!!!'n

Posted , 11 users are following.

beth64101
beth64101

Hi! I'm new to this forum and soooo confused!! I am 54 years old mother of three and grandma. I am in perimenopause, symptoms bad depression where I wouldn't get out of bed. I was told years ago to have a hysterectomy because of fibroids but I haven't yet thinking I will get through this. I have a enlarge uterus due to fibroids and thickening wall of the uterus . I go in August for an sono and ultra sound to check uterine wall. This hormonal stuff is driving me crazy. I stay home, don't get out much and scard when my husband leaves to go to work. I'm a nervous wreck!! Any advice would be great!!

1 like, 52 replies

52 Replies

Prev
  • doc1981
    doc1981 beth64101

    Posted

    Hi Beth, please don't be nervous. Perimenopausal period is a physiological condition and every lady has to go through it. It occurs vary between the age of 40 to 55 years. If you have any symptoms such as hot flushes, nightmares, change in menstruation pattern, all these are due to hormonal changes in your body. You have mentioned that you have uterine fibroids, you should go for a hysterectomy. It is the treatment of choice. Dietary changes, meditation, exercise and if required hormone replacement therapy will relieve your symptoms and make your life easy.
    • beth64101
      beth64101 doc1981

      Posted

      Thank you . I have had fibroids for many years and I have been trying to avoid hysterectomy . I'm scard of that. I will be going for a sono and ultrasound in a couple weeks due to uterine wall thickening. And yeah I'm very nervous. I get anxious and especially when my husband leaves to go to work. Poor guy! I haven't liked any of this at all. Just makes you feel horrible!! I don't know how all women have gone through this !!!!!! I just want to scream sometimes!
    • jayneejay
      jayneejay beth64101

      Posted

      Hi Beth

      we have to go through it, thats why we have no choice 😧

      take one day at a time Beth, no one should tell you to go for a hysterectomy,

      it may not even be necessary, so take one day at a time and be positive..

      most uterine fibroids are harmless Beth and shrink with menopause ..

      there are several treatments for them... 

      Jay xx 

      ​ 

    • beth64101
      beth64101 jayneejay

      Posted

      Do you know what treatments there are?? I changed doctors for another opinion because every one keeps telling my hysterectomy !! So my doctor now is having me do a sono and untrasound in a couple weeks and she's already mentioned D&C!! Before I even have it done. The thing is I'm afraid to be put out,, been there before didn't like it when I had both miscarriages . So I cry and cry just feeling so alone in this. My husband has been very supportive but he can do only so much you know. My mother and sisters had a hysterectomy and they don't understand why I won't just do it. I don't want to do anything to hurt myself but I can't believe surgery is my only option in this. 
    • jayneejay
      jayneejay beth64101

      Posted

      beth

      i sent you a private message .... i will send another Jay xx

    • beth64101
      beth64101 jayneejay

      Posted

      I got it Jayneejay! Thank you. That's why I was skeptical at first to join but I need all the help I can get. 
    • doc1981
      doc1981 beth64101

      Posted

      Hi Beth, please don't be nervous. Hysterectomy is the treatment of choice for fibroids. If you do not have any symptoms due to fibroids such as abdominal pain, heavy menstrual bleeding, please consult your gynaecologist if hormone therapy can help to reduce fibroids. Please take help of a psychological counsellor to make your mind strong and to reduce your anxiety and depression. Surely this will help you.
  • barbara49965
    barbara49965 beth64101

    Posted

    Hi Beth - Sorry to hear your having such a bad time. Try the B6 I have just started to take them. I have been on this for 6 days & I do feel its helped with my low moods. GAll the best & keep in touch.
    • beth64101
      beth64101 barbara49965

      Posted

      Thank you. I have started taking the B6 I'm also on anti depressants . I have anxiety especially when my husband is not home with me.
  • nannyjayne
    nannyjayne beth64101

    Posted

    Hi there.

    I only joined this forum about a week ago as i was feeling just like you, i had already started taken Flaxseed caps  and Vit E, i have since added Vit b complex, magnesium and black cohosh, now whether its coincidently or not i am unsure, but my mood has started to lift and i have not had a mood swing in two days, which trust me is good!!!  Please do not despair it will pass, but try the supplements.  I have also increased my exercising which is a mood lifter.  Its a horrible phase of life but we will get there.

    • beth64101
      beth64101 nannyjayne

      Posted

      Thank you. I am on the B6 now but also anti depressants . I have been so down where sometimes all I want to do is stay in bed. I don't leave the house much. Just feel bluh!!
  • fightingmadness
    fightingmadness beth64101

    Posted

    Hi, of course you are a nervous wreck you have been through a terrible time with two miscarriages and having 'to go under'.  My feeling is, that, if you are going through perimenopause, i.e. soon menopause - your oestrogen and progesterone levels will go down which should shrink the fibroids as they are horomone driven.

    http://www.sharkeyshealingcentre.com.au/content/articles/fibroids-what-you-can-do-about-them/

    I had endometriosis, which is oestrogen driven and after going on a low oestrogen diet  I managed to avoid surgery.  I was in a lot of pain, but after researching it I found out that lots of women had surgery and then it returned.  I went to the Marilyn Glenville clinic in London, you can have a look at her web-site http://www.marilynglenville.com/womens-health-issues/fibroids/   I went to one visit, it is private, but boy, do you get a lot of info in one visit and followed the diet suggested, which was no red meat, which I had been eating a lot of, as I felt so tired.  This is what you need to avoid... have a look around and research what you can do to reduce your oestrogen.  It worked for me, I went for another test and the endometriosis had disappeared!!!  It does work!  PLEASE try diet and think about where you are in your life, if your oestrogen is going to reduce, as it will in menopause, your fibroids will reduce anyway!  Obviously you should take medical advice on this, but remember, the NHS is male driven prjmarily, they do not understand women, let's face it!  We all know that, at our age.  They try to address the problem and take it out!  Yeah, it may remove the problem, but what are you left with?  Especially after the loss of two babies ... I really feel for you... have a look at Marilyn Glenville's website, she is a Dr who has worked with women for many years.  I think, if you are losing oestrogen, the fribroids will probably not be a problem as they will shrink anyway as they depend on oestrogen.  Go with your own feelings, my love.  I might add that I look at these posts often and don't bother to get involved... your story touched me as I could have gone for surgery, that was suggested strongly to me by Drs, I went the diet route and it disappeared.  The NHS Drs were non-plussed when I told them and just discharged me, no questions about how I had done it.  There is another way .... xxxx

    I 

    • jayneejay
      jayneejay fightingmadness

      Posted

      Hi .. fightingmadness

      i too had endometriosis in early 30's but couldnt walk with the pain, so had to have laser sugery, all was removed, the op was fine.. they said to me to have a hysterectomy as it would return in five years... It never did and said no way,  so thank god I didnt have hysterectomy for nothing .. i since had follicular ovarian cysts that grew in early peri again they didnt disperse as never had the actual period ... so they grew then and the next period they went... 

      had ultra sounds and all is good since, just in year 10 of natural peri now, cant have HRT due to family history and my previous endometriosis.. 

      theres sometimes light at the end of the tunnel ... Jay xx

    • beth64101
      beth64101 fightingmadness

      Posted

      Thank you so much for your kind words. I have an appt august 6 for a sono and ultra sound the doctor has mentioned a D&C because of my uterine wall thickened but I feel it's because of my fibroids that I have had for a long time because I didn't want a hysterectomy. I am scard it seems like the doctors aren't giving me much options .
    • fightingmadness
      fightingmadness beth64101

      Posted

      I wouldn't blame yourself, a hysterectomy is a major operation and is not always the answer.  Take a friend with you to the appointment, perhaps, someone who can ask questions on your behalf.  If you are scared, you probably won't be able to think clearly.  See if you can take someone with you.  Good luck and keep me posted.  Try and have a look at the Marilyn Glenville website I mentioned earlier...keep looking for your own answers on the web before you go to the appointment and then you will have a better idea of your possible options or at least the questions you/friend would like answers to.   At least then you will be prepared and can sleep at night!  Best of luck xx
    • beth64101
      beth64101 fightingmadness

      Posted

      I will look into the website . I'm just scard of you know cancer. But inside I tell myself it's the fibroids once they shrink theny uterus will thin out. But I'm not a doctor . Thank you for your advice. I really appreciate itsmile
    • jayneejay
      jayneejay beth64101

      Posted

      Hi Beth

      that private message i sent you with the options, print it off and take it to docs with you... discuss them, ask why they arent an option for you..

      get some answers hun, and try and relax... Jay xx

    • beth64101
      beth64101 jayneejay

      Posted

      Thank you Jayneejay smile I will and I'm just taking it day by day the thing I'm so concerned with us me not wanting to leave the house. How do I get over that fear???
    • jayneejay
      jayneejay beth64101

      Posted

      Hi Beth

      have a friend with yoj or your husband and try and over come it that way..

      difficult one to answer as dont know you hun.. 

      Jay x

       

    • beth64101
      beth64101 jayneejay

      Posted

      Thank you I know it's something I need to overcome I want to see my girls and grandchildren but I don't know how to do it when you feel so bluh.... And then drive?smile
    • jayneejay
      jayneejay beth64101

      Posted

      Hi Beth

      i had the anxiety thing not so long ago, and had to make myself drive as mypartner  works overseas... i never wanted to go out etc etc... but i had to have a word with myself and with the help of my supplements improving my well being and anxieties  i just cracked on and never looked back.. its a lonely life if you let it take hold ... the longer you leave it the worse it gets, so much to enjoy out there

      Jay xx

    • beth64101
      beth64101 jayneejay

      Posted

      Thank you Jayneejay !! You have such good advice!! And I know that's true .
    • jayneejay
      jayneejay beth64101

      Posted

      Hi Beth

      well... i can sympathise as I know what the anxiety and fear is like, but remember life is short we are here to enjoy it . ... life is not a rehearsal, not second time rounds... so sometimes we have to have a word with ourselves, do what we can to alleviate such anxiety, sometimes we can make it feel ten times worse by giving up and dwelling on things to much... positivity is the key..

      imagine you have a box with a lid... hypothetically pop the anxiety in the box place the lid on, and think right for this time this anxiety and fear is not there as you put it in the box... and think right, i am going out now, and i am going to spend time with my girls and my beautiful grandchildren, you can do it, and the feeling after you have will give you such a sense of achievement and you will be so proud off yourself..  this is what i went through and how i dealt with it ...Jay xxx

    • beth64101
      beth64101 jayneejay

      Posted

      Thank you Jayneejay ! I will try I know I need to do this ! Again thank you do muchsmile
    • Snatchpiece
      Snatchpiece jayneejay

      Posted

      Hiya Jay, 

      I just want to say that you are so lovely to us all in the way you make the time to reply to these post. A MASSIVE THANK YOU on behalf of us all as you are real breath of fresh air and your continued encouragement is wonderful and a real tonic! You have continued to support me personally in my low times and I just wanted to thank you so very much for being a friend to me and even though we have never met I feel that we known each other for a long time!

      Have a wonderful day to all you lovely ladies and from the bottom of my heart that I hope we will all soon start to feel stronger going through together and not a lone! I find so much comfort coming onto this forum as I always seem to find some answers to my concerns which in turns helps me to put things into perspective! Massive hugs to us all! Joy xxxlolsmilecool

    • jayneejay
      jayneejay Snatchpiece

      Posted

      Good Morning Joy..

      Thank you .. That was a lovely to say, glad I can be of some help .. Just sharing the natural no other choices for me route. and sharing my last 10 years peri ups and downs.. 

      Yes i seem to have simmered since the hellish anxiety I had early this year .. I just turned 50 last month, I have also had to have a word with myself as positive thinking is also the key, dwelling on it only makes it worse than it is.. The thing i experience now is bring very warm constant .. But it is boiling too in Spain.. 

      I came on this site at beginning of the year as felt terrible with anxiety, doom, etc B6 lifted me and B12 injections and you Joy have been help for me too, and other ladies so thank you to you too Joy ... Have a great day .. Jay xx

Back to top
Prev

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.