Please be warned

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Over the next two weeks I might be on here a lot more than normal, my bereavement councillor, CPN, line manager, two of my positive friends are all on holiday for the next fortnight. Everyone seems to of abandoned me. CPN & councillor have arranged and updated other people for me if required but its people I haven't met, spoken too etc as I find it very hard talking anyway. 

Been out for a 2 hour walk today still want to die and am struggling to get the visions out of my head to get away from my life but I DO know that is not the answer. Also I know I have been warned time and time again alcohol is not the answer but it does numb things and knocks me out. My sensible head says DO Not drink, my get away from life head says drink and it will go away until the next time.

Sorry I'm waffling here obviously I've already had a drink as I want to self harm etc. etc.

I'll shut up now. Thanks for listening. xx

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    hi tina you can talk with us as often as you want but please try to get the horrible thoughts out of your head i know its hard.i was like that with alcohol even now i keep some whisky at home but rarely touch it.so remember we are here for you.and anyone else who needs a kind word. big hugs

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  • Posted

    Tina, I have seen you post so many times, with suicide as being either the subject of the post, or at least mentioned in the discussion. I came to this site, originally for mirtazapine withdrawal help, and I got it, thank God. So I don't know a lot about depression, and what someone should say to someone who is going through it. And as you said, you know in your heart that it is not the answer. My mother tried, and was not successful. And even that was almost unbearable. My point is that you have been dealing with this for quite a while, and are still here with us, as you should be. So that means to me that as you might not think so, but somewhere deep inside what makes you who you are, there is an inner strength that is fighting for your life, and knows how valuable you are to those who love and care for you. I wish that I could take you in my hands, repair what needs to make you happy and at peace, and give you back to yourself. If you ask Jesus Christ to help you, and then quietly listen for the still small voice, He will bring you peace. But you must have faith, you must believe. I am not preaching at you, I am simply stating a fact of life. I was fortunate in that God gave me a kind heart, but sometimes it hurts when others are in pain and I don't what to do to help. God bless you Tina, I am in the US, so it is late evening there. Please at least consider what I have said. The fact that I know another human is in that much pain grieves me to the bone. Take Care.
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    • Posted

      You're very kind David, genorosity of kindness and compassion may well be what Tina reallly needs RIGHT NOW, and with time, if we all pull together and let Tina know there are people out there (here) who care - we are all one - (especially when on AD's and Mirt !!!) we might be able to make a tiny drop of difference, maybe help her turn the corner.

      My heart goes out to you Tina, and I wish you well.  Please be kind to yourself xx

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    • Posted

      You are all such kind, considerate and compassionate people on here you do not know how much your encouragement, support and understanding means to me, especially when you are all dealing with your own problems I quite often sit here sobbing my heart out reading your replies to my jumbled up desperate messages I put out there. I just want this heartache to stop and try to start to rebuild my life alone. I do try so hard to be positive but it doesn't ever seem to last very long. Maybe i haven't hit rock bottom yet so I can then start climbing out of this dark deep almost bottomless pit i'm in. Thank you to you all xx
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    • Posted

      You are welcome! Sounds like you know what you need, just keep making tomorrows become todays, and you will make it! You are right, we all have problems, some worse than others, but it just means that we know what grief, heartache, lonliness, pain, and all those others are. No matter what your problem is, there is someone on here with experience. God Bless You, Tina
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  • Posted

    hi tina ...just sending you a big loving hug support to you coming from me.....hold on sis you can do it.....xxx
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