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Over the next two weeks I might be on here a lot more than normal, my bereavement councillor, CPN, line manager, two of my positive friends are all on holiday for the next fortnight. Everyone seems to of abandoned me. CPN & councillor have arranged and updated other people for me if required but its people I haven't met, spoken too etc as I find it very hard talking anyway.
Been out for a 2 hour walk today still want to die and am struggling to get the visions out of my head to get away from my life but I DO know that is not the answer. Also I know I have been warned time and time again alcohol is not the answer but it does numb things and knocks me out. My sensible head says DO Not drink, my get away from life head says drink and it will go away until the next time.
Sorry I'm waffling here obviously I've already had a drink as I want to self harm etc. etc.
I'll shut up now. Thanks for listening. xx
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