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Please help

Posted , 6 users are following.

Babette
Babette

Hi there,

I have taken citalopram for many years now either 10 or 20mg but never more. In the last year I kind of felt better so nearly 2 months I went down to 10mg, in the last 2 weeks I had a very bad time with my anxiety so 6 days ago I upped my dosage to 20mg again. I forgot what the side effects could be but for me as well the anxiety is worse in the morning and day but better in the evening for some reason. I lost my appetite totally, I feel shaky and on edge all the time and in some ways I feel like my anxiety is going down but that it's not natural so I still keep getting frightening thoughts which make me feel even more anxious. I feel like i wanna scream and had enough of not being myself anymore!!! I have little energy and feel more tired since yesterday! Do you think it is normal and in how many days will I feel normal again? It's a struggle to go through the day ATM I just had enough of feeling anxious! sad(

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  • cmc46
    cmc46 Babette

    Posted

    I was going through much the same at the end of last year, I admit I was fine on 10mg, I had gone down from 20 to 10 April 2013 after being on 20mg for about 9 months, so in the October I decided to go to 5mg and felt awful so I thought no problem I will just go back to 10 but it wasn't as easy as that, the side effects were awful, my GP told me go back up to 20mg just before last Christmas but things didn't get better for several week, about 6-8 weeks, it seemed ages at the time and I thought I was never going to feel right again but I did and I have felt fine since about February, I'm still on 20mg, have thought about going down again but I am feeling so good at the moment, so you will feel better I'm sure but it just takes time.
  • The_sleepy_crow
    The_sleepy_crow Babette

    Posted

    Hi Babette

    sorry to hear that you are having a tough time.

    firstly - I understand how you are feeling - your situation sounds very similar to how I was feeling a few weeks ago - please believe that you are going through a phase & you will start feeling better.

    can you do something for me? - go and get yourself a glass of milk and either a yogurt or a banana. I know you have no appetite but you need to feed your body. When we are anxious, the body consumes glucose at a high rate - it is really important that you are getting some glucose, vitamins, protein and a bit of carbohydrate. A few weeks ago, I was barely eating anything - but I told myself that I had to snack on some healthy foods. Within a couple of days, my appetite was back and one night we had fish & chips from the takeaway and it was so yummy! - that night, I slept really well too - my poor body was so grateful for the nutrients.

    with regards to increasing citalopram from 10mg to 20mg - I would say that for the first 2 weeks on the higher dose, my days were tough - insomnia (not helped by poor eating), and feeling more anxious for sure. Your body will adapt to the higher dose & your anxiety will lessen & you will feel more like yourself. When your negative thoughts start taking over, try to distract yourself either by doing something you like (a wordsearch?, watch something funny on telly) or just keep yourself busy by doing a bit of housework. It is also worth learning the art of positive self-talk - say things like 'right, I have already spent an hour worrying about that......for the next hour, I am going to do something that I've been meaning to do for ages ......'

    check out self-talk statements online - there are some good ones out there.

    personally, when my brain goes into 'bonkers negative mode', I make a start on one of my self-help books (positive thinking, mindfulness, stress management)  - there is always something in a book that enlightens me & lifts my mood.

    take one day at a time - remember that anxiety is an illness and that we can adapt & learn to manage our feelings. Keep a daily dairy & capture the things that you are grateful for ....daffodils, tulips, birds, funky music, chocolate muffins.....

    take it easy Babette 

    sleepy crow x

     

    • carol87925
      carol87925 The_sleepy_crow

      Posted

      It's so nice to hear others & not feel alone. I've been taking 20 mg for about 5 days now & feel worse than ever. More shakey more anxiety, just not right. It's very helpful to hear eventually I will feel "normal". This weekend my husband is gone & I'm even more anxious but trying to take deep breathes. Thanks for giving me some hope
    • Babette
      Babette carol87925

      Posted

      Hi Carol,

      You are definitely not alone but I know that it feels like it. My partner was away for 2 days this week and even though he doesn't really understand what I'm going through I feel slightly better knowing that he is here. I forced myself to go for walks and swims when he was not here which helped me to relax... Maybe you should try this too. It's now my 7th day on 20mg and I kind of feel less anxious today. Although I feel on edge still. For ex I'm really struggling with my puppy who I love to bits but any noise she is making or attention she is seeking I find extremely hard to cope with right now!! I don't know why but it's just too much and I hate myself for it. Like loud noise or shouting I just can't stand it and it makes me shake! We are invited to a wedding tonight but I just don't know if I'm gonna be able to go. Haven't even bothered putting some mascara on for the last 3 weeks! 

      What I get also is this thing where I'm like how am I going to fill my day and I get really anxious about that as well! Isn't that silly?! Do you get that sort of thing too? But then you have my partner that says what are we gonna do today? Shall we do the garden? And I'm like no. I get so selfish in my anxiety bubble!! Right now I'm just laying on the sofa kind of watching tv and doing some of my breathing exercises. When is everything gonna get back to normal? It's so so difficult sometimes sad(

    • carol87925
      carol87925 Babette

      Posted

      Hi Babette, I know exactly how you're feeling. I also have a dog who wants to play & I just don't feel like it. I don't even want to talk on the phone to my daughter I think it's the noise that's bothering me. I'm feeling some better today but kinda anxious that it's just temporary, which is crazy, I should just be happy I'm feeling some better. I'm alone today & also trying to figure out what to do. Can't even drive anywhere too anxious. Stay in touch we,re both new to these drugs. Let's see how they work.
    • Babette
      Babette The_sleepy_crow

      Posted

      Hello there,

      Thank you so much for your reply. I had a banana today and tiny bit of soup smile

      It has now been 8 days on 20mg and I feel rather tired. My anxiety has kind of change it doesn't feel as intense 24/7 anymore but I'm still not right. As the feelings have subsided I feel like I need some kind of outburst to compensate if that makes sense? but I can't cry anymore and then I manage to scare myself as I'm not feeling right yet! I have little energy and everything feels like a struggle sad I managed to go to a wedding reception last night though! I freaked out a few times as things were just a bit too much and felt surreal. Not one drop of alcohol of course and we came back home around 10pm.

      But again first thing when I wake up is that I realise I'm not my happy self so I feel awful for the day ahead already. I listen to some relaxing music that nearly makes me fall asleep but I push myself to stay awake as otherwise I feel like I'm not in control. But then when I'm awake I'm like right what am I gonna do today?? I'm kind of counting the hours till the evening! For me once it's 9pm its film and slowly getting ready for bed.

      In the last 10 days I got into a habit of walking my dog and then go for a swim late afternoon by myself, kind of a relaxing sort of thing (without my partner). Right now I'm watching the tv but I feel on edge staying home yet I don't feel like going out, it's raining plus when I feel this way I'm very silent so not a pleasure to be around, feel weak and definitely don't want to spoil my other half's day. 3 weeks ago I could stay in bed or watch the tv the whole day it wouldn't bother me and now I feel like I'm doing nothing. Just like I can't relax and be. I can't wait for the cit to properly work again. Do you/did you feel similar?

      I'm so so frustrated to feel this way!! How long till I will feel me again?...

    • carol87925
      carol87925 Babette

      Posted

      Hi Babette, that's good you were able to get out last night. Not sure I could go to a wedding reception at the moment just too much action for me. It's a terrible feeling being fidgety & not comfortable. I wanna sit & relax but can't. A least my husband will be back later today so I won't feel so alone but on the other hand he doesn't understand any of these feelings even tho he tries. He just says think happy thoughts which "we" know is a lot more detailed that that ha. Hope we both have a decent day
    • Babette
      Babette carol87925

      Posted

      Ohhh I know Carol. It is so hard for them to understand, my other half is the same. I went for my usual swim later this pm and once home I managed to have some food!! I'm going into work tomorrow (2nd time in 5 months) so I'm hoping ill be fine. When I went in last week it was not easy at all.

      If all of this was not enough I'm starting to worry about my new neighbours moving in tomorrow. I'm really sensitive to noise so I'm praying that they will be a quiet family like the last one. So frustrating to feel this way and to have all these things affecting me so much. I really hope that the week ahead will be a turning point with the medication! So tired to feel frightened and anxious all the time. I hope you have a good evening x

    • carol87925
      carol87925 Babette

      Posted

      Good for you going to work. I'll be curious how that goes.

      good luck!!!

    • Babette
      Babette carol87925

      Posted

      Hi Carol,

      I didn't go into the office today but I worked from home. Everything was well until about 3pm when I heard the new neighbours moving in. My heart went racing, i started sweating and shaking straight away, I wanted to vomit and scream! I haven't been able to eat or relax since. My jaw feels tense and I'm terrified I won't be able to sleep. Had a lovely family and quiet that left on sat and today 3 boys moved in and I am so so sensitive to noise its horrible. I'm really not having a good time right now. Had an unpleasant experience a few years ago with neighbours and I think that was the last time I felt really really bad. I'm so scared... 

    • sue38919
      sue38919 The_sleepy_crow

      Posted

      Hi sorry to jump into this read but as you are so helpful ! Could I ask - I have had my cit increased from 30 to 40 and today is the 7th day of taking it - yesterday I had a really great day but today feel anxious again - is this normal?
  • gemma07352
    gemma07352 Babette

    Posted

    Hi i to am feeling like you andy doc says to stop taking ot immediately as its obv not agreein with me. I have turned onto a total wreck in 6 days just hope when this leaves my body i start to feel like i did im constantly being sick at the min and the nervous feeling is excruciating just hope this is withdrawl and il be ok soon good luck if you stay pn then bit i cudnt x 
  • carol87925
    carol87925 Babette

    Posted

    Oh dear Babette, could be very noisy today cause neighbors are just moving in might settle down in a couple of days. Sounds like you're anticipating trouble ahead of time, which I know is part of anxiety. Maybe headphones would help muffle the sound for now?  I actually went in Walmart today with husband it seemed very bright lights & noisy & chaotic . I think we are super sensitive at the moment cause of the drug & if we can just power through we'll come out great on the other side. My daughter on this drug for a year & is like a different person now doing great. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel I'm convinced!!!

    xxx thinking of you

  • carol87925
    carol87925 Babette

    Posted

    Ps try some cold water on your face that calmed me down couple days ago
    • Babette
      Babette carol87925

      Posted

      Hi Carol, I went to work today which kept me distracted but I could not stop thinking about the neighbours. I feel like a nervous wreck right now, sweating feeling sick, wanting to vomit!! What the hell is wrong with me!!! I just want to feel normal again! How was your day? X
    • carol87925
      carol87925 Babette

      Posted

      Hey good for you going to work!! That's a positive! Your "normal" will be coming soon. I felt nauseous when I woke up but it's actually been a pretty good day. Except I'm worried it won't last which is ridiculous should just quit thinking ha.  We'll keep powering thru! We will beat this!
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