Please Help

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Hello. My name is Violet and I'm eighteen. I believe I've been suffering from either depression, bipolar disorder or both for the last year. I was diagnosed with a lot of problems as a child; asthma, Tourette's Syndrome, ADHD and scoliosis. Recently, I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism, Vitamin D deficiency, malnutrition and Binge Eating Disorder. I've been seeing doctors/therapists and taking medication for as long as I can remember. Over the years, I've been to countless therapists for numerous reasons. So, my life's been pretty s****y but this past year has been the worst. I'm constantly tired, I'm restless, I have trouble sleeping, I have nightmares, I go through periods of binge eating/barely eating, I have trouble focusing, I've withdrew from hanging out with friends/getting involved at my school (it's my senior year of high school), I'm not interested in the things I used to love, I have suicidal thoughts and I tend to hurt myself sometimes. My parents don't understand. My mom constantly ridicules me for spending all my time in my bedroom and sleeping after school (which is when I find it most easy to sleep). She yells at me to get up and do something with my life. No one knows what I'm going through and that's the worst part. I've tried to tell them but it's just too much to get across? I think I've cried everyday for the past month and when I do, my mom laughs at me. She thinks I'm pathetic and lazy. She's mad at me for being tired all the time but she knows I have Hypothyroidism/Vitamin D deficiency. She's always on my back about college; filling out applications, visiting campuses, writing my essay and increasing my SAT score (she enrolled me in SAT prep class). I appreciate that she's trying to help me get into a good college and be successful. But, that's not what I need help with right now. I need someone to be there for me and not make my life even worse. My parents always threaten to sell my car, take away my phone, ground me, etc. I know these aren't my biggest problems but they sure don't help. I've been self destructive lately and I don't know how to stop. I'll hurt myself, know I'm doing it but I can't stop. It's become a really bad habit. I feel like I've sunken into this hole of despair and I'm trying to brush off the pain but I just can't. I can't even remember the last time I was truly happy or the last time I went out with my friends. I know I should see a doctor but I've been seeing doctors ever since I was born. I'm over it. I already take so many medications and see so many doctors and visit so many therapists. I just want a normal life. I want to be happy again. I want to enjoy my senior year. I want to have the motivation to be successful in life. Please help me 😔 I'm sick of being sad all the time.

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  • Posted

    Hi

    We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologise for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.

    If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.

    Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.

    If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.

    Kindest regards

    Patient

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  • Posted

    You have Depression. People who have never been through it and have no medical experience will not understand this (your parents) and you in turn need to understand that they’re not going to understand.

    The pathophysiollogy isnt well understood, but it usually does get better on its own eventually. So this wont last forever. You need to find a way to cope with it in the mean time. There are drugs that can be incredibly effective.

    Are you taking Levothyroxine for Hypothyroidism?

    Are you taking Vitamin D?

     

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  • Posted

    Hypothyroidism will make you feel tired as will lack of vit D. So if you are sleeping all the time and have little interest you need to discuss again with your Family Doctor and look into your medications and perform various tests, if this has not happened before, so you will put your mind at rest and move on.

    In life we need the will to motivate ourselves and sometimes when young this can be a problem as we tend to not know how we want to lead our lives into adulthood and being a well adjusted person. You explain you have Tourettes, you will need help with that problems as well, as these two problems will effect your motivation in life and make you very low and depressed. The conditions you are suffering from would need to be confirmed and tests will need to be undertaken, discuss all with your GP if not already.

    Always here to help

    BOB

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  • Posted

    I forgot to mention that my parents put a lock on my door to stop me from sleeping after school. Is this normal? Why are my parents like thissad
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  • Posted

    Hi,

    Your going through an awful time and to make it worse your parents are also finding it difficult to cope.

    Having once been an 18 year old that self harmed and suffered depression, violent parents and schooling problems I can only write this:

    When I became a parent with teenagers of my own I/we, struggled with our daughter much more than our son. We saw everything that she done as suspicious or underhanded. We found tins and tins of hairspray under her bed, and tubes of glue. When she babysat for neighbours she appeared drunk when she got home. Finally we had to put windows locks on her bedroom windows as she would sneak out when we had gone to bed.

    Today, she is a mother of three lovely children, 25th wedding anniversary coming up and she is a special needs teacher with 1 to 1 councillors qualifications. 

    Your parents are struggling with you as much as your struggling with them, if they didn't care they wouldn't bother. You need the proper help and support from your doctor.

    Mike.

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  • Posted

    I am so sorry, my heart breaks for you.  You don’t need the crap that your parents are giving you.  Honestly I would not have understood either, but went through it myself.  People dont know it is a real illness, and your mom is ignorant.  You need to concentrate on getting better, not on gettng better SAT scores or filling out college applications.  I pray that you will find healing sweetie.  Have you tried to educate your parents on depression by sending them articles?  Not sure that would work, but I would reach out for help.  Maybe a school counselor, or a criss hotline.  Please reach out for help.  You need support, 
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