Posted , 4 users are following.
Hi everyone...
Just feeling alone today. Anxiety has been beating up on me pretty badly these last few weeks. This time of year is never really good for me my aunt who raised me was diagnosed with cancer around this time and she died a year later. And my younger brother was killed in an senseless act of violence and few years prior to that. So usually around this time of year I'm depressed but anxiety has been full blown. I'm constantly worried about my health especially the C word and it's taking over my life. My 32nd birthday is tomorrow and instead of being able to celebrate and be excited I'm experiencing the impending doom of some form of the C. My husband is frustrated because he feels like I should be living it up he's 16 years older than me..I envy him so much sometimes he eats whatever, smokes cigars, and lives life on the edge and I'm scared of every ache, pain, or rumble of the stomach. I would rather worry about my heart than to be worried about the C or worry about nothing and just live. I pray a lot for God to spare me and to help me and some days I feel like he just doesn't hear. Sorry for being long winded, just want things to change for me. Miss being happy and carefree.
Thanks for listening and hopefully I get some replies. This feeling sucks.
0 likes, 9 replies
tess33005 nai84477
Posted
Nai, this is horrible for you. I am so sorry you're feeling like this.
It's anxiety and grief which are fooling you into thinking you have cancer.
Where do you think you have cancer, anyway, darling?
I hope you've seen your doctor recently. I also hope your husband takes your worrie more seriously, too - not because i think you have cancer - I don't - but because he should be supportive of you, whatever you are going through.
love Tess xx
nai84477 tess33005
Posted
Hi Tess,
Thank you for responding. Right now I'm worried about my pancreas. Started eating healthy and walking daily and I lost tons of weight got scared. Bowel habits changed probably from my diet and I started googling and freaking out. I went to the doctor's in March going back tomorrow for a 6 month check up because I have high blood pressure and I'm pre-diabetic. I'm also going to a psych doctor today to start meds. Just really hope I'm okay. Wondering if the meds will change anything?
Thanks again for responding.
tess33005 nai84477
Posted
let us know how you got on. xx
borderriever nai84477
Posted
Let us call what the condition is, Cancer.
Yes we all concern ourselves with what if, if that is the case you see your GP and tests need to be undertaken. You need however the side effects and body changes that amount to the appearance of that unfortunate condition. It is a good idea to ask yourself why you consider Cancer must be present ?
Before I came down with my disability I was like you concerned with every burp, headache or constipation, I was never away from the Doctor Surgery, I used to rattle with medications. Now with all the tests undertaken I live for the day and accept the premis that whatever takes me I have no way of preventing it, when my time is up it will not cause me to hit my head or bite my hand, I will accept it is my time.
I am now sixty six with a disability, I am called in medical terms a Creaking Gate.
Many of my friends from school have now departed this world and had to accept their lot before their final journey. I look on life as a learning experience and I accept my lot.
When I was diagnosed I lookd back on my life and then understood the time I had waisted worrying about every pain or condition I could have. So now even with my disability I live my life with as much fervour that I can raise. The chance of failing at something because of my condition is in the back of my mind and I accept that and consider what else I can try. If something appears wrong with me I will hopefully pick it up, if not, well that is it. I continue with as much determination I can muster.
I really do understand what anxiety is like however we live in a situation that is not perminent.
Sorry for your worries and concerns, life and health conditions are so worrying at times. We need to take time out from these worries and concerns
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lisalisa67 nai84477
Posted
I have ailments and still no one likes to hear me complain, my husbad is very big on just dealing with stuff and accept it and youll feel better. He has so he isnt being mean but i dont know how he is so strong like that. Good for him. Wish he could bottle that and give some to me.Â
I use to be a very active and functional,person myself. Ingot sick in 2007 with some virus and life changed for me. I still pushed thru as best incould. But i am dealing with ailments and it gets so lonely. I try so hard not to complain, althoughh it seems everyone is allowed too. I hide my thoughts. I tried therapy but they, more then one said theres no magic cure for ailments and no pill to make it go away..nothing they could say really. I have to find peace in it. I usually get they feel bad and it sound hard speech. So i stopped that.Â
My birthday is next week. Happy bday to you. I want health and peace. Thats my wish. Things wont do that.
my only advice is keep praying to be honest. It helps. IT helps to feel comforted by any spirituality that you find comfort in. A belief in a higher something that can heal you, comfort you and love you. Â Thats useful and needed. Not even talking about religion with that, some get offended with that. I do think God hears you. Maybe we dont hear the reply. Too busy worrying. Not trusting maybe.I dont know.
Try and keep busy. Being alone with sad thoughts doesnt play out very well.
truth is if you do want to change you will. It takes time. We are human beings. Thats all we are. We get lonely, vulnerable and need love. Thats in our nature. I think many forgot this being caught up in the material world.
i hope you feel better. Â
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charlie_62761 nai84477
Posted
Hey there, feeling for you. I'm incredibly anxious as well, and recently moved into a single dorm in college. My girlfriend who is my center of support also moved across the country, so I'm feeling the lonelines. Luckily, I recently concluded my time on Zoloft, and while I don't live anxiety free I do live well enough without medication. I suppose all is well, but the loneliness is a bit crushing. Hope things get better for you.
borderriever charlie_62761
Posted
Sorry you feel so isolated, college life can be a real problem as far as that is concerned.
Do you have any interests you could take up in the College environment, in my Tech College many years ago they had a raft of things to do and we were able to suppress our longing to b with people we love
Just a suggestion
Allways around, keep a hold
charlie_62761 borderriever
Posted
Hi there, I was actually denied from my top school last year, and I'm planning on transferring next semester, so to help my resume I joined two clubs, and I like them but they don't help with the social aspect so far. So I think I just have to grind it out until I transfer to my new school, where I'll be closer to my girlfriend and it'll be easier to be social.
borderriever charlie_62761
Posted
Hope all sorts out for you and you will see the light at the end of the tunnel soon
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