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Just feeling alone today. Anxiety has been beating up on me pretty badly these last few weeks. This time of year is never really good for me my aunt who raised me was diagnosed with cancer around this time and she died a year later. And my younger brother was killed in an senseless act of violence and few years prior to that. So usually around this time of year I'm depressed but anxiety has been full blown. I'm constantly worried about my health especially the C word and it's taking over my life. My 32nd birthday is tomorrow and instead of being able to celebrate and be excited I'm experiencing the impending doom of some form of the C. My husband is frustrated because he feels like I should be living it up he's 16 years older than me..I envy him so much sometimes he eats whatever, smokes cigars, and lives life on the edge and I'm scared of every ache, pain, or rumble of the stomach. I would rather worry about my heart than to be worried about the C or worry about nothing and just live. I pray a lot for God to spare me and to help me and some days I feel like he just doesn't hear. Sorry for being long winded, just want things to change for me. Miss being happy and carefree.
Thanks for listening and hopefully I get some replies. This feeling sucks.
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