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Kiralee8 Kiralee8

Please help I've tried everything (health anxiety)

I've posted on here two other times about the same ongoing mental health issue (chronic health anxiety and depression) and I've taken in all the advice I've gotten from people I've seen struggling with it on the internet, doctors and family members but nothing is working and I'm going crazy here! I mean I am literally going insane! I am so scared of dying it's not even funny! It's all I am focused on from the minute I wake until the minute I go to sleep! (some nights I can't even sleep because of it) I get a pain in my neck and instantly I'm at the conclusion that I've got a blood clot forming or I get a headache and I jump straight on the "I've got a tumor growing and spreading" path of thought. I go to the doctor weekly and some weeks I even go as far as to see him every 3 days. It's costing me so much money that I don't have and it doesn't help that I lost my job because of it. I'm only 19 years old and I have never had this constant fear of death before so it's scaring me! I can't do anything without worrying it's going to make me Ill or kill me! I get scared of choking on food while eating. I get worried about being in a car crash while I'm out. I think if I go to sleep I won't wake in the morning so I avoid it at almost all cost most nights! Someone please please please tell me there is a light at the end of this dark and doom filled tunnel because I feel so alone and frightened that I just want to lock myself in a padded room for the rest of my life! It's even gotten to the point that my menstrual cycle doesn't even show up some months due to the intense stress I'm dealing with. Which doesn't help because I immediately assume it must be cervical cancer! A lot of people tell me I need to come to terms with the inevitable (death) but I just can't see that happening! It's the biggest fear I have and I don't want to die! Also I've been tested for cancer and other various things via blood tests, urine samples, ultrasounds, MRI scans and a CT scan in which I had an allergic reaction to the contrast solution and couldn't breathe so now I'm even scared of getting routine tests done! I check my pulse almost constantly throughout the whole too so much so that it's leaving bruising on my neck from the constant pressure of my fingers. Sorry for my novel but I am at the end of my tether here and I just need some reassurance of some sort although I doubt I'll find any sad thanks.

11 Replies

  • omeara78 omeara78 Kiralee8

    I'm so Sry yr going through such a tough time Kiralee sadly I don't kn wat to tell u on to get past yt torment as I'm a 37 yr old male going through very Simler torment like u thoughts of dying are with me every minute of day and night it's so unbareble but pray to God u and me will get past this some how xxx

  • Ebone Ebone Kiralee8

    Hmm sounds like CBT or some kind of thought process challenge will help you. You have to find out why fear of death is so scary and substitute positive alternatives.  I believe we all can retrain the brain, it's way harder than it sounds unfortunately. Everyone's different when it comes to feeling better again. 

  • jmcg2014 jmcg2014 Kiralee8

    It's important to realise with health anxiety that you need to address the root anxiety, theres no point trying to not obsess about health. The obsession is how the anxiety manifests. Get some therapy to deal with the root anxiety and the rest will follow

  • papote53 papote53 Kiralee8


    Sorry to hear about your struggles so I'm going to ask you 2 simple questions. What are you eating ( if you eat at all) ? And are you taking any medication ( if so, which one) Their is a light at the end but it takes time, testing, hard work and patience.  

  • jmcg2014 jmcg2014 Kiralee8

    Also another word of caution, any posts on the internet,even this site from people who make huge posts and claim to have the answer - avoid them like the plague. Anxiety and its resolution is unique to every single person,people who come across as being full of the answers tend to have none at all

  • pearl70642 pearl70642 Kiralee8

    Dear Kiralee,

    I can relate to what your going through. I had a nervous breakdown when I was 42 and now I'm a young 71 as you can tell by my picture. I can only tell you I have finally getting some answers. Are you on medication? Have your seritonin and your hormones checked. Get on some anti anxiety suplements or meds. Start taking 5htp. I use to think about dying all the time and now I don't and I'm not afraid to die so go figure. I have tried everything from acupuncture to Reike to cranial massage to a psycic, but nothing helped. Make sure you are eating healthy. I swear to you it will get better if you don't give up. Find a support group. I know when I was 42 I didn't know where to turn to so I know your frustration. I'm willing to talk to you on the phone if you want just let me know and I will give you my #. I know how painful this is and no one can get you through this except you. Make sure you have a good support people who you can talk to. I know this is a stigma so talk to people who you can trust and understands. Don't give up you have too much to live for. We are here for you.

    I live in Washington state.


    Emis Moderator comment: I have removed product/company names as we do not allow repeated posting of these in the forums. If users wish to exchange these details please use the Private Message service. I have also removed phone numbers from other posts, do not post details like this in the forums.

  • pearl70642 pearl70642 Kiralee8

    HI Kiralee,

    I wrote you a message, but it is being moderated. I did suggest some things so maybe that is why. I am a young 71 and have been going through this for 30 years off and on. I too was afraid of dying, but I don't think about it anymore. I could suggest somethings that might be helpful, but maybe I'm not suppose to on this site. You will get better just don't give up.

    • carole28488 carole28488 pearl70642

      Hi, Pearl:  I am 67 years old, and I have gone through the same thing, but now that I'm older, I just say my prayers at night and sleep like a baby....I don't know if anyone reads the Bible or prays, but that is what is helping me more than any meds, although I still take my meds.  My main problem is my pulse.  When I sit down and try to relax, somehow my pulse will race for no reason or I get a stomach ache.   Everyone says..just think about something else, but that is very hard to do.  I'm on antidepressants and antianxiety meds, and beta blockers.  I do think it gets better as you age.  I remember being just like the teens on here....HUGS.


    • jmcg2014 jmcg2014 pearl70642

      No your really not meant to give out those details, especially numbers - for your own sake remove those details as soon as possible!

    • jmcg2014 jmcg2014 pearl70642

      No they don't allow that here. You can try to report your own post and ask a moderator,but generally no you cant

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