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I've posted on here two other times about the same ongoing mental health issue (chronic health anxiety and depression) and I've taken in all the advice I've gotten from people I've seen struggling with it on the internet, doctors and family members but nothing is working and I'm going crazy here! I mean I am literally going insane! I am so scared of dying it's not even funny! It's all I am focused on from the minute I wake until the minute I go to sleep! (some nights I can't even sleep because of it) I get a pain in my neck and instantly I'm at the conclusion that I've got a blood clot forming or I get a headache and I jump straight on the "I've got a tumor growing and spreading" path of thought. I go to the doctor weekly and some weeks I even go as far as to see him every 3 days. It's costing me so much money that I don't have and it doesn't help that I lost my job because of it. I'm only 19 years old and I have never had this constant fear of death before so it's scaring me! I can't do anything without worrying it's going to make me Ill or kill me! I get scared of choking on food while eating. I get worried about being in a car crash while I'm out. I think if I go to sleep I won't wake in the morning so I avoid it at almost all cost most nights! Someone please please please tell me there is a light at the end of this dark and doom filled tunnel because I feel so alone and frightened that I just want to lock myself in a padded room for the rest of my life! It's even gotten to the point that my menstrual cycle doesn't even show up some months due to the intense stress I'm dealing with. Which doesn't help because I immediately assume it must be cervical cancer! A lot of people tell me I need to come to terms with the inevitable (death) but I just can't see that happening! It's the biggest fear I have and I don't want to die! Also I've been tested for cancer and other various things via blood tests, urine samples, ultrasounds, MRI scans and a CT scan in which I had an allergic reaction to the contrast solution and couldn't breathe so now I'm even scared of getting routine tests done! I check my pulse almost constantly throughout the whole too so much so that it's leaving bruising on my neck from the constant pressure of my fingers. Sorry for my novel but I am at the end of my tether here and I just need some reassurance of some sort although I doubt I'll find any thanks.
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