Please help me, feel like I'm going out of my mind ):

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I was told I have health anxiety about two months ago when I began experiencing chest pains in my right side, with that I found a lump in my breast and I was convinced I had breast cancer. I went to the doctors surgery numerous times and in the end I was referred to the breast clinic at the hospital where they told me that I was clear. Thankfully that anxiety went away and I thought that would be the end of it. After that It was lung cancer, liver cancer, bowel cancer pancreatic cancer and stomach cancer. Around two weeks ago I started experiencing a sore throat, I thought nothing over it for a few days before I felt the urge to take a look. I found that the back of my throat was inflamed with a small lump sitting to the right. Instantly I thought throat cancer and began relentlessly searching Google. Then I thought thyroid cancer, again Google played it's part. I went to the doctors and they told me that it's just a simple throat infection and told me it would go away on its own. A week later I was back in the doctors because it wasn't going away and I had found a swollen lymph node, which was in between firm and soft (if you know what I mean) and moveable. The node itself wasn't/isn't painful to touch but the area around is very painful. Again I visited Google and it came up with Lymphoma or Hogkins disease. The doc said it was due to an infection once again and he said it is definitely not lymphoma and gave me antibiotics finally. I've been on the antibiotics for nearly three days now and the symptoms aren't clearing up. The right side of my neck still feels swollen (but isn't visible) and the node Is still swollen with other little bumpy bits underneath going down towards my collarbone. My right shoulder and arm are painful and tingling/itching and also my chin and head is tingly and im getting pain in my chest. I'm so terrified that it may be lymphoma but then I don't know if it's my head telling me that and creating symptoms that aren't actually there ): I've visited the doctors 24 times in the last two months and they are referring me for counselling. But it feels like my symptoms are very much really. Are the doctors missing something or is it me? ):

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  • Posted

    Hey hunnie I have had two lymphnodes on back o my neck swollen for no reason since I was 13 im now 23 .

    I have constant itching all other and was going out my mind and the doctors response was we won't do anything unless they become the size of a golf ball sent me into even more of a panic then last year August my grandad got diagnoised with non hodgkins lymphoma and watching him go from healthy to the way he did made ut even worse but then I realised I have had these lymphnode from such a long time that I would of known by now if I did have it I have notice lumps on my bikini line too I have been told if your thin it's easy to feel lymphnode anywhere and also when a infection is /has been present sometimes they never go down and they are there for life as you have had a infection it shows that will be the reason why if you don't feel reassured enough go back to doctors until your mind is settled .

    Anxiety can make you feel so many symtoms you lose touch with what is anxiety and what isn't and googling needs to stop been a hypercondriac for years but I started go ogling last year and I have been the worst ever even people without anxietye worry because of googling xx

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    • Posted

      I'm so sorry to hear about your Grandad, hope you're okay. Really, that's such a long time, was your neck constantly painful with it too? Im almost tempted to go into the walk in clinic where they can do my bloods. Google is horrible isn't it rolleyes that's how I feel, I don't know what's real and what isn't anymore and it seems like as soon as I'm clear for one thing my mind moves on to the next. X
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    • Posted

      no not constantly painful it flares up painful for a week or so then stops for a week ect which freaked me out more if you feel like going to walk in centre and it will put your mind at rest do it they would of picked something up by now on blood work though hunnie .try to remember your lymphnodes are there to fight infection so when we do become ill and with anxiety we are run down so we are prone to illness /coughs cold ect our lymphnodes will swell .Google is partially dangerous for us ...I totally understand that most people stick to one thing but I'm like you I move onto things and then I'm back at the beginning like I will shift from one illness to another and back to the same again round and round it's a visiouse circle xx
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    • Posted

      I may do tomorrow, I just feel like I'm being a complete annoyance to the doctors. Ohh I haven't had blood work done yet but I may ask at the walk in to settle my mind. Yeeah it really is a viscious cycle rolleyes x
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    • Posted

      I think we all feel like where annoying our doctors but I'm afraid that what they are there for to be honest I don't think they is enough support for us or consideration to what we are actually going through but keep pushing until you feel better xx
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  • Posted

    I know how you feel trust me I've had the same thing happened to me a couple of months ago stomach problems than it was my back problems than it with my throat then it was my nerves then I had a tumor in my head it's horrible anxiety level very high that makes me feel like I'm losing my mind and everything is not real once you get over one thing something else is always around the corner to keep your mind going and second-guessing and Google is definitely doesn't help because it always is worst-case scenario
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  • Posted

    I had the same situation you had years ago.  I was constantly convinced and worried I had cancer.  I was so afraid of the diagnosis of cancer and having to go through treatments and the complexities of it all I finally happened upon somthing when I thought I had a brain tumour.  This seemed to work for me.   I thought to myself, "what's the worst thing that can happen?  That I don't bother with the horrid cancer treatments that go on and on and I just let it kill me.  Living this way is with all this anxiety is so awful so how could death be worse?  If it's cancer, I'llm live with it until it kills me, and then nothing else can ever happen to me again because I'm dead.  We all have to die sometime.  "  So once I reasoned out that this headache and neckache might be the beginning of the end, I decided I would let it kill me and and in accepting that, lost all the anxiety about cancer.  I'm a heavy smoker and I've reasoned out that when I get lung cancer I'll simply wrap up my affairs and die.  Then nothing more can happen.  No more anxiety.  No more fear..  No more anticipation.. Just sweet blissful rest.  And I lost all this anxiety.

    Of course if you are willing to undergo cancer treatments to try to win the battle than that' the thing you have to say to yourself.  "God forbid It's a cancer diagnosis, then I'll just have to go for the chemo, radiation, surgery,,and scans.  Or I'll just die.  Or I'll get better.  Just prepare for your own worst case scenario so you won't fear all these aches and pains and swellings and lumps but face them head on with a plan.

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