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I am 23 years of age. I am severely suffering from some unknown disease. I often feel like I am good at nothing. I avoid talking to people because I think I would sound stupid to them and they even won’t listen to me because I am stupid. I don’t have any friends to talk to. I don’t have any hobby. I don’t have any gf to talk to. I feel like I am worst and no girl would even talk a stupid guy like me. I also feel that no one will ever marry me because I am the dumbest guy on the earth I often wonder why I feel like jumping from a tall building or running railway. I know that I won’t do suicide for sure( Trust me I wont) but still occurrence of suicidal thoughts in mind out of nowhere is really irritating me. I know that it can be attributed to a mental state of severe depression. To pacify these feelings, I prefer to eat a lot and sleep (the only time when I don’t think of all this s**t).
I have constant headache and eye pains. I feel tensed to talk to my classmates because I feel I may sound stupid to them. I am caught in this vicious circle since last month and I often cry a lot almost every day. The conditions are worsening day by day. I also get tensed while doing smallest of the things.(Example:1. I feel very tensed while I am in ATM because I am worried about whether money will come out or not!!)
I haven’t share this with anyone as I know I have no one who will listen to my sad story. I also don’t want to bother my parents. They want me to make them proud which in turn is not being possible as I am unable to deliver to their expectations. They are very careerist and want me to be on top always . It is not getting possible for me to stand up to their expectations. I don’t want any words of sympathy from anyone because I don’t expect them either from anyone. I can’t tolerate this anymore. I please help me out.
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