Please help me guyzz.. Being in a depresiion

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Hello

 

I am 23 years of age. I am severely suffering from some unknown disease. I often feel like I am good at nothing. I avoid talking to people because I think I would sound stupid to them and they even won’t listen to me because I am stupid. I don’t have any friends to talk to. I don’t have any hobby. I don’t have any gf to talk to. I feel like I am worst and no girl would even talk a stupid guy like me. I also feel that no one will ever marry me because I am the dumbest guy on the earth I often wonder why I feel like jumping from a tall building or running railway. I know that I won’t do suicide for sure( Trust me I wont) but still occurrence of suicidal thoughts in mind out of nowhere is really irritating me. I know that it can be attributed to a mental state of severe depression. To pacify these feelings, I prefer to eat a lot and sleep (the only time when I don’t think of all this s**t).

       I have constant headache and eye pains. I feel tensed to talk to my classmates because I feel I may sound stupid to them. I am caught in this vicious circle since last month and I often cry a lot almost every day.  The conditions are worsening day by day. I also get tensed while doing smallest of the things.(Example:1. I feel very tensed while I am in ATM because I am worried about whether money will come out or not!!)

     I haven’t share this with anyone as I know I have no one who will listen to my sad story. I also don’t want to bother my parents. They want me to make them proud which in turn is not being possible as I am unable to deliver to their expectations. They are very careerist and want me to be on top always . It is not getting possible for me to stand up to their expectations. I don’t want any words of sympathy from anyone because I don’t expect them either from anyone.  I can’t tolerate this anymore. I please help me out.

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8 Replies

  • Posted

    Hello, 

    It is possible to see that you have some symptoms of depression. It can Intensify painful emotions when you write them down and relive your experiences. It is a tough thing to do and you had done it very eloquently here. 

    Telling someone how you are feeling is a very brave action and it is easy to underestimate how important it is. Depression makes you isolate yourself for lots of reasons just like the ones you have shared with us. I remember hearing Jack monroe (she's a chef now) talk about her mental health and debt problems, she said that the only good piece of advice she has now is "when you're in trouble shout about it to anyone who will listen!"

    Please go go to your general practitioner (GP) at your local surgery and tell them how you are feeling. Please also tell your parents. They might not realise it is so serious to begin with. But give them time and give them the chance to help you.

    I hope you are are able to be kind to yourself, you are very precious. 

     

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  • Posted

    Thank you for sharing with us. You have written this very well, explained your feelings. I can feel your pain. 

    Suzye gave you great advice. Go talk to your parents, they may not understand but they will care. Talk to a doctor, talk to a stranger on the train. You are not alone and clearly are intelligent and can express yourself very well. 

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  • Posted

    Hello Pranav. Yes depression is a very painful disease I also suffer from it. I know how it feels to have my thoughts torment me and have other people try to put their expectations on me. Have you tried to see a doctor and get on medication. Therapy changed my life completely though I had to be honest and work hard the pay off is great. I still take lexapro. Please let us know what you decide and how you're doing. We care. Diane

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  • Posted

    hey you

    before you read anything else i have to say; take a moment for yourself. close your eyes and just take a deep breath. when we can't hold on anymore, that's what keeps us going: breathing.

    i know it's so easy to feel like a failure and to convince yourself of things that you hope in your heart aren't true, but trust me when i tell you that no one else sees you that way. people with depression and anxiety are often experts at hiding it without even realising that they do it. i know that makes opening up so much harder, but i also think it's better not to have our true feelings tattooed on our foreheads, you know? that means we can choose who we let in and who we don't. trust is one of the hardest things we as humans can do and from what i read in your post it seems as if you haven't let anyone in on what's really going on in your head. it took me a while and a few disappointments too, but i really recommend that you take the chance and talk to someone. it can be whoever you want, but try to talk. it's dangerous to let your depressing thoughts consume you.

    getting back to the fact you perceive yourself so very different than the people around you do, i just want to say that you are good enough for friends and a girlfriend even if you don't always feel that way. as someone who is struggling with depression and anxiety myself and having friends who suffer from these problems too, i can assure you that not everyone decides whether they like you or not based on your success or how ''cool'' they think you are. my best friend is basically failing right now while i worry about not having done one day's work, but it doesn't bother me that much, because that's not why i'm friends with him. i'm friends with him because of his heart. so be brave and share your crazy beautiful heart with the world bit by bit. the right people will notice and accept you and love your for it wink

    and about your parents; it's really crushing when you feel like you don't live up to someone else's expectations, yes, but i think it's even more crushing when you don't meet your own expectations. focus on doing what makes you happy. whatever that is might not be everyone's cup of tea, but if it makes you happy, that happiness will flow out into the rest of your life and onto the people around you just the same way depression does. you choose whether you radiate a positive or sad vibe and the only way you can really do that is by making yourself either happy or unhappy.

    that being said; don't overthink every little thing you do. i do it too so i know how tiring it is, both mentally and emotionally. try to not think about everything for a while and simply be. allow yourself freedom to be.

    and then at the end of the day, look in the mirror, smile at yourself because it's your face and because you're worth loving and then remind yourself that you've made it this far and that you can make further.

    you're going to be okay.

    (hug)

    i'm here for you

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  • Posted

    Pranav thank you for writing in to us. I would like to say also that Suzy said it all so...well! I agree get to your GP you so deserve to start feeling better. I take an antidepressant and have had therapy and I feel so much better.😊  i am not "healed" but I will keep working on myself and it is worth it!! Pleas keep writing to us as you can see we really care about you! Diane

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  • Posted

    That's the same reason why I don't talk to people. I always end up messing everything up. sadI think this comes from our Anxiety problem. Too much self doubt and worrying creates these negative feelings where we start seeing ourselves in a bad way. All these thoughts cause us to feel insecure. I have the headaches too and sharp stabbing pains in my eye. You're wrong girls would talk too you. Give it a try if it doesn't work. Nothing will happen you won't see them again. Try again. Be a fighter! This is your Life! Don't waste it get back up if you fall down. Nobody matters right now but you. You need therapy to change the negative thoughts. These thoughts are not the reality. When I was in college this girl came up too me she wanted to ask me something. I was surprised she was so beautiful and confident in herself unlike me. I'm a female also. I'm attractive myself but for some reason my social anxiety, GAD, depression create so much self doubt and I starr doubting everything. I'm 25 now. Well, guess what like always I messed up. I stuttered I just froze. I saw her face I just wanted to run out.sad I was so embarrassed. I couldn't even say anything my mind froze. I didn't know what to say. So what followed was awkward gestures. I was just like, "yeah." 😑I didn't even know what she had said. I was just so nervous nobody approaches me. My mom says I intimidate people. When I'm tense my face shows something else like if I was mad. I've never had any friends because they always ended up talking behind my back. This is the same reason I avoid the opposite gender. No one ever gets me. So I avoid everyone I rather be alone than have someone take advantage of me because I have these issues. They always have secret intentions. Either they didn't do their homework and want to copy off from me. Keep in mind I'm not in college anymore. This was back then. Or they used me as maid. Always ended up holding their things or they wanted to get me into trouble and skip school with them. I didn't. I was so insecure I almost did just so I wouldn't lose them. In my view it's not completely bad to not have any friends. Sometimes being in the wrong crowd gets you into trouble or causes more problems. Addictions, they try to pressure you and since we are vulnerable. Since we are insecure we will probably listen to them so we won't lose their friendship. You start drinking alcohol maybe even doing drugs and bad things. I always preferred to be by myself since I was  very different to my peers. While others talk about attending parties at age 14. I  thought about wanting to have friends and be social like them. But what for? Just for the opportunities..Everything would be much easier for me if I didn't have my problems because of Anxiety. I would have finished college done what others do. But instead I'm a failure. We need to get therapy and get confidence in ourselves first. So we won't feel we have to settle for less when it comes to friends and people. My brother's gfs were girls who came to him at clubs or school. Always the wrong type. Now he has a child with her and she's a witch, manipulator. He only got what came to him. Whereas if you go up to the girl you like maybe you'll have a happy ending. You choose! Not get what just comes at you. Not saying its bad for women to do this. But I always thought it should be men. But since there are shy guys why not.. It would help. You got really good advice from the others here. I feel the same way too. Sounds like the Social Anxiety with what you described. Take care man💪💖💖💖🙏I hope you feel better. Depression really causes us to believe some things that are not true. You are so much better than that. You don't have to be successful. Society places so much stress on us and yet we have problems like Anxiety. Everyone works at their own level. What you are able to do. Don't pressure yourself. You don't need a big career. A short career is good too. Just try to relax and breathe and remember you can do it! Keep motivating yourself when you feel low. Ignore the negativity and reinforce positive ones. Work at your own pace. Wish you all the best!🙏💖💖

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  • Posted

    Hi Pranav,

    You received a ton of caring, good advice here - how are you feeling now? Did you manage to see a doctor or confide in any family member? I hope you feel some improvement. You are definitely not stupid. You are very smart to bare you soul here with strangers & seek a solution to your problems. Best wishes. Please update us if you can.

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