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PLEASE I NEED ADVICE!

Posted , 10 users are following.

miguel1990
miguel1990

I need help... Please... I’ve had anxiety for the last 8 or 9 months... and my doctor has me on meds (Valium 5mg as needed and its helping! i only take it every 3 days to provent addictions) and i have not told my wife because she is very judgmental and not very supportive she think i just need to get over it (anxiety)  but it’s not that easy i tell her all the time =( and she can’t seem to understand that.. but I also don’t want to take/do stuff behind her back im not that type of person I like communication.. what should i do tell her im on meds or keep it to myself? please help.. sad

0 likes, 47 replies

47 Replies

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  • robin77577
    robin77577 miguel1990

    Posted

    Hi Miguel,

    There are so many people who do not understand 'mental illness'. They will say to 'pull yourself up by the bootstraps' and that it's not manly etc.. I suggest you ask your wife to go with you to the doctor's and he can explain. If you are planning to see a psychologist..which is a good idea...take her with you. That might even be better. In order to make sure she goes, don't tell her why...although she will worry it is something more serious. 

    I hope things work out. You need support, not comdemnation.

    • miguel1990
      miguel1990 robin77577

      Posted

      Thank you thats how I feel.. =( I Dont really have friends and the only person I have is my wife and she does not get it, its sad I have to talk to starnager all the time and they seem to understand me more.. Thank you! 
    • kat50
      kat50 miguel1990

      Posted

      If you haven't suffered from anxiety/depression you can't understand how someone feels. It's a good idea to take your wife along to your doctor next time you go. I know how you feel if that helps.
  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 miguel1990

    Posted

    Dear Miguel, hi, I too can feel empathy for how you feel, I agree that it would be a very good idea to ask your wife to accompany you to see your doctor, I am sure that he or she will be able to make your wife understand the effect anxiety has on every part of your life.

    Do you work? If you do is there anybody there that you would feel able to talk to ( good friends help a lot ) or maybe some other family members that you f close to.

     I wish you well and I sincerely hope that your current situation improves, and please visit your doctor if you find things are getting on top of you.   Take very good care of yourself ,love Deirdre x

    • miguel1990
      miguel1990 deirdre._03652

      Posted

      Thank you Deirdre you are very charming.. I do work I’m a sales person at a dealership (VERY STRESSFULL) I don’t have anyone close to me here at work.. they already call me a hypercondriact (iv been rushed to ER multiple times because of panic attacks) =(  My family is only my mom and she is not good at coping with things she already has anxiety and i don’t want to make it worst (she makes me feel worst when i talk to her! 2 ppl with Anxiety no good lol.. I’m only 23 years old with a wife and a 8  month old baby a house i just bought and 2 BIG car payments.. and no one to understand me.. I put up a front in front of my wife to seem macho man but its killing me inside... 
    • kat50
      kat50 miguel1990

      Posted

      Oh miguel. You sound under pressure with your work. Perhaps you need a mild anti depressant to help you. 
    • miguel1990
      miguel1990 kat50

      Posted

      I dont like anti depressant they make me feel bad .. I was on zoloft and paxil  and was taken off because of side effects.. now im on valium as needed and i take it every 3 days to prevent addictions. it helps alot!
    • kat50
      kat50 miguel1990

      Posted

      Are you in the uk? Perhaps some form of therapy would help you overcome your anxiety.
    • miguel1990
      miguel1990 kat50

      Posted

      No im in the USA this was the best site I found with really nice people and fast replys. Im thinking about therapy but my wife tells me im not crazy.. she thinks therapy is for cazy people... she really does not understand.. 
    • deirdre._03652
      deirdre._03652 miguel1990

      Posted

      Dear Miguel,  it does sound like you have many things in your life that are wonderful, a wife and a baby, they are.a real joy, but of course they also bring responsibility which can be seemingly overwhelming when you are feeling low.   Is there any possibility at all that you could try to apply for a less pressured and more enjoyable job?. .. you have to look after yourself  

      And make sure that you you get all the help you can . There are some very good antidepressants out there, it may be worth your while persevering to try and find one that maybe suit s you ( they can be life changing - for the better ).

       I wish you all the help and understanding that  need, don't give up. 

      Sincerely yours,  DEIRDRE x

    • miguel1990
      miguel1990 deirdre._03652

      Posted

      Thank you so much for the comment. I am looking into other jobs later on i have a couple things going on right now that do not allow me to change jobs. and what antidepressant do you recommend ?Thank you! 
    • shell58234
      shell58234 miguel1990

      Posted

      Maybe try sertreline works for me side effects won't that bad. Your wife needs to start to understand mental health. Might be a good idea to let her read some stories on here that may help
    • robin77577
      robin77577 miguel1990

      Posted

      Hello Miguel,

      Sounds like you might have social anxiety. It starts in the teen years. It's a feeling of panic at worst and feeling ill at ease in social situations. My son (who lives in the US) has this condition and has no friends...but he has a wife and a child. I have tried to convince him to go to a special clinic for social anxiety but I think he's too scared to go. He doesn't even like to admit he has any problem. I have seen him in social situations and he gets very tense and wants to get away. And yet he works in an office, with people, has a lot of responsibility and does well. From what I have read, the brain is lacking in brain chemicals; serotonin and dopamine. People can take meds for this. My friend's son who as Social Anxiety did and he became the life of the party. His does was maybe too high but anyway, he took up a couple of hobbies and enjoyed being around people. It did affect his sex drive however... I think the drug he took was called serotonin uptake inhibitors. Do some research on social anxiety and see if it what you have. 

  • shell58234
    shell58234 miguel1990

    Posted

    Hi I have one thing to say is valium is bad news your doing what I did 7 years later I am hook on them. And like you said they help. But what a gp don't tell you in how hard they are to come off them. I started on 2 mg weeks month s years then one day my body just wanted more and more. Be care if I was u I would slowly come of the valium soon as well its still early days it will end up controlling you. Like I said 7 years I have been popping these pills which ended up taking 46 56mg a day. I am now on 27mg that should show you how slow and hard to get off them. They killed my love life being a mother and had 2 leave the job I loved. So please be aware of this. If I knew what I do now I would off never took 1 mg I believe they should be band
    • miguel1990
      miguel1990 shell58234

      Posted

      I only take them every 3 days for example i took one today 6/28 my next 5mg dose wont be till 7/1 am i in danger of addiction? my doc said thats a good technique to avoid addiction and dependency 
    • shell58234
      shell58234 miguel1990

      Posted

      Well 1 mg last over 100 hours in you blood. Doctor have no idea when it comes to mental health they just put you on anything just keep you claim. Please look into them. Ssk other people the chemicals ect..
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