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Hi eveveryone, this is my first time posting. The story is long so I understand if you don't want to read it all.
Anyway as the title suggest I feel although I have been misdiagnosed with major depressive disorder...I'll start at the beginning.
For the last 7 or so years I have had periods of lows where I can not get out of bed, can't not sleep but feel so tired, can't eat, feel hopeless, worthless and can't concentrate on anything other than my own misery. I nearly drooped out of university in my second year because I went through one of these low points and felt I would never amount to anything in life. This was the first time I visited a Dr back in 2009. He sent me on my way after telling him how I felt with nothing other than a metaphor about a swimming pool?!.. I know right. Anyway aside from these low lows I have times were I am incredibly energetic, I don't need the sleep, I have flights of ideas that I get carried away with way into the early hours of the morning. I have started numerous businesses with no correlation to each other for example a worm farm and a fashion boutique. During these times I spend vast amounts of money and I feel although I am moving at 100mph and every one else is moving to slow. My thoughts race and I am irritable with anybody whom I feel is trying to slow me down. I have quit jobs in both the low and high periods and Im definitely not in the financial situation to do so. In total, in the last 9 years I have had 16 jobs, bare on mind 4 of them years I was in full time education. Fast-forward a few years of the same mood changes and I give birth to my first child last year in September. I thought everything was OK until around the Christmas holidays, I became every argumentative and cried hysterically at the slightest things (red traffic lights) I hated myself, I hated my partner and felt I was failing at being a mother. Pretty soon I began to sit in the dark during the day, wouldn't open the blinds blinds, avoided contact with anyone other than my own parents, decided I hated my partners mother and the low mood set in. My own mother urged me to go to the Dr and explain how I had been feeling, I did so with apprehension given the last time. He listened and diagnosed me with post natal depression. I was given sertraline 50mg. Two weeks later it was doubled to 100mg. After 3 months and no change in mood he added a second medication of mirtazapine 15mg, same again 3 weeks later no change in mood and mirtazapine was increased to 30mg. At this point he referred Me to the CMHT and waited 7 weeks to see somebody.
I had that assessment last week and asked to speak to a psychiatrist as I did not feel the only problem with me was PND as I have had depressive lows before my baby was born. Incase told by the social worker who carried out the initial assessment my meds would be reviewed as they have had little to no effect on my low moods. Infact just recently I went through one of my high moods and nearly missed a flight because I just had to buy lots of duty free despite being on last call from my flight. I explained all of the above to the social worker and it is all outlined in the copy of the letter I have received that was sent to my Dr. but it seems it's all been overlooked. I'm a loss as to what to do and I find my low points are worse as I find I am now having morbid thoughts and feelings are just made invalid by people who are trained to help.
I know no one can diagnose on here but I just really had to get it off my chest. It seems I just take it lying down when it comes to medical professionals even if they misunderstood me. I'm even too afraid to ask for a second opinion as this is the second time I've been knocked back so to speak.
Thanks for reading, anyone had anything similar?
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