Postmenopause, pain and depression.

Hello,

I am really going to try and keep this short. I am 51 and 2 years postmenopause. My body has turned on me. I had a terrible perimenopause. It gets worse the older I am. When my periods stopped for the last time (though at that time I didn't know it.) Hell like I have never known has unleashed on me. Pain is the name of the game and I am it's unwilling player. I thought it was supposed to get better after menopause?

I used to go into the doctor at any signs of weirdness. But now because there has been no help for me (and my doctor quit her practice)I don't see the point. I just am slowly very painfully dying.

Middle right side terrible back pain, moves to the side and then front. My rotten husband Googles symptom which I hate because I refuse to. So I can't get away from it. Kidneys, cancer, etc. Now I am worried it is my kidney. I have leg pain. Left ovary area pain, that goes away then comes back sharp and then just aches. . My Gyno says even though I have cyst on my ovaries they wouldn't cause me pain. She says you have something else to worry about and to get a colonoscopy. Is that her way of calling me a lying hypochondriac? I would gladly give her or my husband my pain. Now I have stomach pain because of the ibuprofen and stress from back pain. Pain moves through my body like blood moves through the body. Then to top it off I am pretty sure I have either a BV (no odor) or a yeast infection. Great.

I have my annual pap tomorrow afternoon.

Bought a new bed about two months ago and I HATE it. To soft. the bed I we had for several years was really hard.

I realize there is no hope for me. This is it. I am doomed. It just keeps getting worse. I have lost 20lbs. Difficult for me to lose weight but my thyroid is fine. (Still need to lose another 40lbs) I feel worse instead of better. How is that possible?? I am afraid to eat because of reaction to food. No sugar, no caffeine, no dairy and now low fat and low carb. I drink only water.

I don't have children and I don't live anywhere around friends or family other than my dog and husband. I don't work outside the home. I have been on bp meds and cholesterol meds for years. A true sad sack huh? lol.

I am sorry for being so negative. Pain and stress has consumed my personality. It has eaten it whole and now I can only function on a very basic level.

Thank you, and Bless every single one of you.

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